Groomsman bails on former business partner's wedding,' 'he DERAILED my career.' AITA?

"AITA for cancelling on my friends wedding after he derailed my career and caused me financial hardship?"

"Mark" and I have been friends since we were kids, we've been in the same industry, working similar roles for 25 years. He started a contracting business in 2016. Four years ago I brought him in as a vendor at the Fortune 500 where I was working. Mark's business grew rapidly (5x employees and 10x revenue in a short time) due to this.

He'd often asked me to come work with him, and in 2023, he was overwhelmed and needed help, he convinced me to be his partner. The role was Director of Operations, I'd run things; he'd grow the business. My compensation included earning equity in the business.

I left my secure job of 5 years, with stock options, 401k match, etc based on this offer. I emphasized my need for stability, knowing replacing the job that I left behind would take a long time and a lot of effort.

For two years, I worked 60+ hr weeks, traveled extensively, while Mark did nothing to grow the business. He was hard to reach, and often missed meetings. His leadership was a complete disappointment. When I saw he wasn't holding up his end, I tried to secure new customers and projects, but he rejected every opportunity.

This year, he's refused to take on new projects with existing customers to the point that we've lost all of our employees. Last Friday, he called saying he had decided to completely shut down the business. My email access was cut off, and Monday I was offered 2 weeks severance and nothing for my earned share of the company.

The letter states that my role has been eliminated due to "downsizing and streamlining." I now think the promise of ownership was all a lie to convince me to run his business. His lies and actions have derailed my career and put me in a position of financial hardship. He won't answer my questions in text or email and insists that I call him, but I want a paper trail.

I was in Mark's first wedding and am a groomsman in his 2nd wedding this July. I cancelled the "bachelor party" fishing trip, AITA? WIBTA if I also drop out of the wedding? I'm too hurt by his betrayal to stand with him and pretend this is ok.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

lilolememe said:

NTA. He's not a friend, and you need to stop calling him that. Walk away from this man and stop investing in the relationship because he's shown you exactly who he is and what he thinks of you. If he insists on phone calls, either record the conversations or get a witness or two to listen in.

Hopefully, you had a contract or some sort of documents in writing you can show a lawyer. If he closes down the business, he doesn't just get to transfer the money to his personal bank account. I also wonder if his ex-wife might be able to help you in some way. Good luck finding a job.

Solrackai said:

NTA, but let's be honest, you left a fortune 500 company for a brand new business. That's your fault.

[deleted] said:

NTA, and YWNBTA. He basically disrespected you and lowkey messed up your career. I feel like that's enough to refuse to be his friend at all, let alone be in his wedding.

Shy_guy_Ras said:

NTA that's not a friend, that is a snake. Have you talked with a lawyer about this? It basically sound like he took the money and ran tbh.

queenlegolas said:

NTA. Take him to court if you can. If you're in a one-party state, record what he says. You need evidence.

Competitive-Care8789 said:

Why would you want to spend any time with him at all, much less engage in the whole wedding party? You’ve got better things to do. NTA.