'AITA for not caring anymore about my sister’s issues with me showing PDA with my partner?'

"AITA for not caring anymore about my sister’s issues with me showing PDA with my partner?"

So my girlfriend (21f) and I (22f) have been together for 4 years, and when it comes to PDA, we’re actually pretty chill and we’re pretty mindful. We know what’s too much like ass grabbing, making out, weird baby talk in public, and we don’t do that stuff. We would just hold hands, hug, or kiss occasionally.

We’re also super aware that PDA makes some people uncomfortable, so we try to be respectful and dial it down around others when it seems like it might be too much or we’re just in an environment that doesn’t call for that.

The issue is my older sister (34). She constantly picks at any little bit of affection we show. It honestly feels like she’s made it her personal mission to criticize how we act around each other. She’ll get annoyed or judgmental even if we’re just holding hands.

She also complains when I bring my partner along to things and says she feels like a third wheel (which I totally understand, but I don’t bring my partner to everything). It’s not like I’m dragging her everywhere we go.

So I’m going to give some examples, there are a few but I’ll leave it to the two recent events I can think of: On my birthday, I went on a trip to Florida with some friends and my sister. I was sick the whole time, and my girlfriend was just holding my hand and being supportive.

My sister texted me during the trip to say the PDA was too much for her. So we stopped, there was no more hand holding or anything the rest of the time. Nobody else seemed bothered and we weren’t doing anything over the top.

My sister invited me and my girlfriend to go to an amusement park with her and a friend. We held hands occasionally, and kissed a few times, but mostly not even in their view. Nothing wild in my opinion but literally just normal couple stuff. I also comforted my girlfriend when she felt sick from the rides.

Today, we went out for breakfast and did some thrifting before heading back home (we live a few states away). Again, same deal, held hands sometimes, maybe kissed like three times the whole day. At one point we playfully shared a stick of gum (which I’ll admit could look weird from the outside, but it was just us being silly, no kissing or anything, feel like that’s the most over the top we’ve might have done the whole trip).

Out of nowhere, my sister snaps and starts yelling at us, saying we were being "inappropriate" the whole trip and if she acted like that with her ex, we’d hate it. We apologized and left early.

The thing is, it’s starting to feel like nothing is acceptable to her. She doesn’t want us to show any affection at all, and honestly, it feels really judgmental and projecting. It’s made me feel kind of ashamed just for holding my partner’s hand which is something I think is completely harmless and sweet.

When straight couples do it, it’s seen as normal or even cute. Why should I feel weird for doing the same? So yeah, AITA for not really caring anymore about how she feels about our PDA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

BlanketBurrito22 said:

Sweetheart I don't think it's a PDA problem anymore. She sounds homophobic, sadly. I'm so sorry you have to put up with her.

UpsetChemistry8943 said:

NTA: I don't know what to say without sounding rude, but I think your sister is either jealous or is secretly homophobic.

pardonmya$s said:

NTA. But any time she starts up this nonsense, call her out. Make it weird. “Why are you obsessing over my girlfriend and me?”

Moonstone_Goddess_ said:

Nta. Your sister is homophobic. Tell her if she doesn't like it, she can leave. You're not going to give on to her demands for no pda anymore just bc she can't deal with you being gay.

CaregiverCool3423 said:

NTA. I may have missed it, but does she have this problem when other couples show PDA or just you and your partner? Also, does it feel like there’s actually some homophobia going on? Either way, NTA, remind your sister that this is your partner, who you love and the two of you will show PDA like any other couple has the right to!

Outrageous-Arm1945 said:

NTA, that sounds more like jealousy on the part of your sister. Stop bowing to her pressure and be true to yourselves