"Am I overreacting after catching my GF with a coworker after hours with another man?"

I (45M) and my fiance (35F) have been together for right at one year. She took a second job waiting tables at a friend's bar cuz the economy sucks. I was very supportive of her decision and encouraged her to do so actually. Shortly after working there, she told me one of the bouncers was interested in her. She assured me that he was made very aware she was taken.

Fast forward to last night. I went fishing with a buddy. My fiance and I are always pretty good at communicating any changes in our plans. Her and I were in contact through the night until I started to head back into town around 2 am( closing time). I called her twice and sent a few messages informing her I was headed home.

After 90 minutes had passed...I drove to the bar to find her alone in the parking lot woth this man. They were standing outside of her truck far to close to one another for my comfort. I pulled in...asked her if her phone was broke. I left after telling her aid see her at home.

She immediately followed. I was crushed. I never in a million years could have imagined her doing something like this. I don't think I can trust her anymore as her explanation of the incident contained many inconsistencies. Am I wrong for feeling that my trust has been broken?

What do you think? Is he overreacting? This is what top commenters had to say:

tdowdney said:

I'd leave if I were you. I tried to stay and wasted 5 extra years. Leave now save your sanity.

Tenif said:

NOR - she literally said this dude is interested in her. She knows he is. But decided to stay after work with him alone an was ignoring calls. Even not ignoring calls, being alone 90 mins after work, just talking would be crossing a boundary. Would she be ok if you stayed alone with another girl that you and her both knew was into you...

At worst, it was opening the door for something to happen. At best, she was crossing a boundary you both would not be comfortable with and not thinking of your feelings.

Aggravating_Act_7475 said:

I’d dump her personally. She’s not going to stop this and if she does she’ll resent you

And Complete-Job-6030 said:

She knows he is interested in her and continues to entertain him. Says all you need to know

He later shared this update:

Apologies for not filling yall in on the details a bit sooner. Been going thru it over here. Gonna do my best to answer some of the most asked questions here. I did indeed confront her at the moment. When I first pulled in the the lot...she smiled at me. There wasn't the oh sh!t I'm busted face. She explained to me that her and the other members of the bar hung after and played pool for a bit.

She claimed her phone was in her waitress apron while playing pool and she couldn't have heard my phone calls cause of the music. Once outside... she claims that the bouncer was questioning her about our relationship. She says she told him that she was very happy...this is allegedly about the point in the conversation I pulled up.

Not gonna lie here guys, but she is an extremely friendly and at times nieve person. There may be some truth to her story. This was only the 2nd time she had worked with this particular bouncer so I don't know that there was time for anything to happen between them that I would could consider a red line.

However, I'm most betrayed by her lack of considering my feelings in her decision to stay after work for do long without contacting me...or responding. I've told her that she has lost my trust. A lack of trust will def affect my behavior and attitude towards her. She is telling me she will do anything to earn back my trust.

She quit the bar that next morning. I've told her that it will be some time before I can wrap my head around this. I truly hope we can make it thru this...but not too certain I'll ever be able to accept what happened. Thank you all for taking the time out to address my little issue in the world. I know you all have your own sh!t to deal with. Appreciated. I'll update again if anything changes.