'AITA for continuing to change in front of my window even after my neighbor complained?'
"AITA for continuing to change in front of my window even after my neighbor complained?"
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I (early 30s F) bought a house last year with my fiancé, but we only just moved in a few months ago because it needed some work. Our neighbors are a woman, her husband, and their college-aged son.
Everything was fine until a few weeks ago when the neighbor woman came over, visibly upset, and told me she saw me changing through my window and would appreciate if I didn’t do that there.
I was surprised because the angle of the window makes it so that someone would really have to go out of their way to see anything. I checked it out myself, and unless you’re standing in a very specific spot in their yard, you can’t see much at all.
To be clear, no one in her family (husband or son) has ever mentioned seeing me; she was just “worried” that they might. I didn’t feel like I should have to change my habits for her, especially since they’d have to be actively trying to look in.
So I kept changing there, as I had been. Well, she came over again last week, this time freaking out at my fiancé, calling me a “wh0r3” and accusing me of being disrespectful.
I honestly think it’s ridiculous because I’m in my own home and I’m not flaunting myself. Her husband came over and apologized and said he asked her specifically not to do that, and clarified he hadn’t ever mentioned seeing me nor had his son.
My fiancé told me to just get new blinds or try to change in a different area but I think that’s bullshit and have been doing as I have since I moved in…
AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
relatxtbn
NTA, but it sounds like you don’t have blinds/curtains and are changing in front of a window. Why?
thesqrtofminusone
She likes the thought of people seeing her get changed.
Mollykins08
Not necessarily. It could be that she just doesn’t care if people see her get changed. I have been know to walk past an open window in the nude. My windows aren’t easily seen by others but not completely unseen. I figure if they want to look at my fat body - that’s on them.
PhoenixRisingToday
NTA but why not move a couple of feet? Going out into the yard and analyzing how easy it would be to see you - that’s something you’re willing to do. But moving 2 feet is so easy. Sounds like you’d like to be seen.
Which is fine, but don’t make the excuse that you are going to do what you’ve always done. That’s just silly. Sounds like your fiancé would prefer to avoid problems with the neighbor - and why not, when avoiding ongoing issues is so easy?
Upstairs-Blood4545
NTA but it is weird that you refuse to take a few steps to keep your neighbors from seeing you naked.
Sassysewer
I would argue that makes it an ESH for this reason. Neighbour obviously a huge jerk for calling someone a indecent. But OP after being told someone can see you changing in your neighbourhood you're like, nah...gone to just give er and see how this pans out. Be a good neighbour and throw up a curtain.
Wise-Pirate-4468
In the United States - “Nudity is generally illegal on a person’s own property if the nude person is visible to the public, such as through an open window or sunbathing naked in the yard.“ Just to be safe, you might want to check your state and local laws and make sure you’re in the clear.
OkCantaloupe6112
YTA. Your neighbor has let you know that you can be seen naked changing and you’re giving her shit for it? Get blinds.
MolassesInevitable53
I checked it out myself, and unless you’re standing in a very specific spot in their yard, you can’t see much at all. Are you seriously telling us that you went into the neighbour's yard and stood in every part of it checking your window? Did she invite you in, did you trespass, or are you lying to us?
"You can't see much at all."
So you can see in. Did you have your partner stand where you usually stand to get changed while you were in the neighbour's garden checking the view (if you actually did that)? If not, you can't tell how much of a body could be seen.
YTA. Either because this is at least partially made up, or because you are trying to upset people. Or you are an exhibitionist.
Grow up.
Physical_Ad5135
Ugh. Why don’t you just not change clothes in front of a window. I had a naked neighbor with no blinds that would sit naked on her couch. When told of the issue, the husband of the woman told people just not to look. It was just so weird that she knew but still sat naked on the couch.
So you know that someone saw you change in front of your non curtained window and yet you defiantly still change in front of this window? You are the weird naked neighbor? YTA.
MerelyWhelmed1
ESH. She sounds awful, but changing in front of a windows is pretty disrespectful, too. Are you an exhibitionist?
Brainjacker
lol I wish I had as much free time as this neighbor of yours. As long as you don’t mind being seen, NTA, and if she comes over again tell her she’s being recorded and you’re concerned about her peeping and harassment.
Cheezel62
So when the teenage boy invites his friends around to have a look and they all take photos and videos to share you’ll be ok with that. No, they shouldn’t but you’re also giving them the opportunity.
GoreGoddezz
NTA, but do you really want the word going around the neighborhood you strip in front of the window? Also, a woman in her early 30's naked in front of a window... I am sure a lot of males would NOT tell you they saw anything and would keep peeking.
Is moving over a foot or two really that big of a deal? Or do you want to potentially put yourself in a position that the wrong person finds out what you're doing and tries to do something even worse? This is 2024. It's not out of the realm anymore.