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'AITA for changing all the locks on my house because my GF keeps locking me out of the bedroom?'

'AITA for changing all the locks on my house because my GF keeps locking me out of the bedroom?'

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"AITA for changing all the locks on my house because my GF keeps locking me out of the bedroom?"

My girlfriend (36F) and I (29M) moved into a house that I bought last year. We argued at first about what each room should be. 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, 2 living rooms, a garage and a back patio.

I wanted an office and she wanted an office. At first I didn't want to but I gave her the 2nd largest room for her office and the largest became our bedroom. I took a significantly smaller room for my office. She occupied the 2nd living room for herself.

We slept together in the bedroom, as would any other couple for the first few months. We had arguments here and there but nothing major. After about 3 months, we had a big fight about decisions involving the house. Pest control, upgrades, modifications, etc.

She said since it's my house, she will not be bearing any of the financial burden that would come of disposing of the pests and any issues that would come up with the modifications. I wasn't happy at first but in the end understood her point of view. I took on the financial responsibility. Shortly after this, I got mad and yelled at her during an argument regarding the pest control and the modifications she wants.

It was after that point she started locking the bedroom door at night, forcing me to sleep elsewhere. I tried taking the bedroom earlier than her one night but she just sat there, keeping me from sleeping until I left the room. It took about 1 month for her to get over it and we started sleeping together again. This was short-lived. We went on Christmas vacation together, all expenses paid for by me.

First class seats and fancy hotel. Vacation was great. Once we got back, we ran some errands together and upon returning, she refused to help bring anything inside. She was distant and shut the door on my while I was bringing things inside.

I confronted her about it to which she said "I needed to get into the closet, I didn't care about your needs" to which I yelled at her again. She went right back to locking the bedroom door on me.

I went away for work for 2 weeks and once I returned, she still locks the door. I was fed up with it and changed all the locks in the house. While I was changing the locks, she started video taping me and asking what I was doing.

I know my yelling is a direct result of the actions she's taking but Am I The A%#$ole for getting fed up with getting locked out of my own house?

PS: I haven't locked her out of anywhere except my office. She still has access to the rest of the house.

Edit: She pays a portion of the mortgage since some people thought she wasn't paying rent or anything.

Info from OP:

I've thought about how it's the middle of winter, freezing cold and she doesn't make a lot of money. Kicking her out would instantly make her start struggling to survive. I can't do that.

In PA. There is no common law marriage.

I have Ring cameras. The trips are for work so they are frequent.

I have a poor way of explaining things. She doesn't directly pay anything towards utilities or mortgage. She just gives me a portion of money that I use towards what I need to. In this case, the money she gives me goes into savings.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Why are you still with her? Seriously. You two sound like unhappy roommates and not partners. You are the landlord/owner. Charge her rent or make her sign a lease. Better yet, evict her. NTA

This is anything but a relationship, they are incompatible totally and things will only get worse

NTA. Evict her and move on otherwise this is going to keep escalating.

Agreed. Her name isn't on the loan so she's not paying mortgage, she's paying rent. She's told you she's not responsible for upkeep. File and evict her legally. You two are not compatible at this point. Don't draw it out. Just make sure your documents are secure, your shared finances are separated and locks on your important door

Why live with someone who hates you this much?

Are you that desperate that you put up with this woman and her nasty garbage. It’s your house. Open the door. Toss her out. Toss her possessions out. Close the door. Then lock it. There fixed your problem.

Edit 2 from OP:

I confronted her about it. I told her the sleeping arrangement ends tonight. I'm currently in bed and she has chosen to sleep on the couch. And no, I didn't lock her out. Will update you as it's her birthday tomorrow.

Sources: Reddit
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