'AITA for changing the Wi-Fi name to 'Stop cheating on my sister' during my niece’s birthday party?'
"AITA for changing the Wi-Fi name to 'Stop cheating on my sister' during my niece’s birthday party?"
So yeah… this might be petty, but here we go. I (31F) live down the street from my sister Maya (34F) and her husband Shone (36M). We’re super close. Our kids have playdates, we do Sunday dinners, the whole thing.
Maya is one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. She always shows up for everyone. Shone? Meh. I’ve never loved him, but I tolerated him. Lately, though, he’s been acting weird..always on his phone working late a lot, super snappy if anyone makes jokes about marriage stuff. Maya keeps brushing it off, but I’ve had a bad feeling for months.
Well, two weeks ago I went over to their house to drop off something. Maya was out with the kids. Shone didn’t hear me come in. His laptop was open on the kitchen table, and I saw messages from someone who was very much not my sister. Like full on conversations, photos, saved voice notes.
I took a picture of the screen, heart pounding. Didn’t say anything. I just left and tried to figure out what the hell to do with that. Then this past weekend, Maya threw a big birthday party for their daughter..my niece.
Backyard, balloons, snacks, bouncy house, everything. She looked so happy and proud of all the little details. And I just…couldn’t ruin it for her. Not face to face. Not in front of everyone. But I also couldn’t sit there and smile while Shone played the happy husband act.
So I did something kind of petty. They’ve always let me use their Wi-Fi. I still had the router login saved on my phone from a while ago. While everyone was mingling, I changed the Wi-Fi network name to: StopCheatingOnMaya_WeSeeYou.
It was subtle at first. Then the kids couldn’t get on their iPads. People started asking about the Wi Fi. Someone read the name out loud. Cue the awkward silence. A few people laughed. I just kept sipping my drink.
Shone saw it, turned completely pale and disappeared inside. I didn’t say a word. I just helped pass out cake. Party ended kind of fast after that. Maya hasn’t called me since, but I know she saw it. Shone left early and hasn’t come back, from what I’ve heard.
Now my mom is mad and says I embarrassed everyone. Honestly? I didn’t plan it out that far. I just couldn’t pretend anymore. I get that it was dramatic. But was it wrong? AITA for exposing my sister’s cheating husband?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
YTA for not going to your sister privately to discuss this like an adult. What you’ve done is turn her into a laughing stock and object of pity.
EXACTLY! OP said she could ruin the day for her sister, then proceeds to ruin it in the most public way possible!
You were so focused in embarrassing him, you didn't think about what it would do to her. YTA.
Erm, yes! That was one of the most insensitive ways you could have told her. Why didn't you wait until after the party to talk to her? It sounds like you were prioritising your feelings over hers.
Exactly! OP totally let emotions take over and forgot the most important person in that moment was Maya. The top comment is right, that WiFi name stunt turned a joyful party into public humiliation. OP might’ve meant well, but it came off like the whole thing was more about venting than protecting her sister. Timing and empathy matter.
YTA, not because you told her but because of how you told her. There was a much better way to tell her and this was kinda mean to your sister. She found out her husband was cheating on her in front of everyone instead of privately where she could process her emotions privately.
YTA, and frankly I get the sense that this post was more about you wanting to brag about a novel way to out a cheater (and utterly humiliate your sister).
Are you an idiot? Yes YTA. A child’s birthday is not the place to be doing that. What’s the matter with you?
YTA.
“I just couldn’t pretend anymore”. It isn’t your life, tell your sister, let her handle it with her husband.
While I don’t believe the story is even real since you’re naming them, if it is, you chose to keep this secret from your sister while you thought of what to do, then publicly humiliated her. (Yes I’m aware the husband is cheating scum in this story, but again, it isn’t OPs right to reveal that.)
YTA. That was a horrible way to do it. Really difficult to see how you could have acted more hatefully. You know you damn well should have sat your sister down privately. Instead you ruined a child's birthday party, embarrassed the other guests and humiliated your sister. Because you 'couldn't pretend any more'. BS.
You're just a horrible, self involved individual, who wanted to be the one to decide how this played out, rather than speaking to your sister and giving her the power to decide how to handle it, as is her right.
Why would you treat your sister that way? She probably felt humiliated by what you did. And if any of the kids were old enough to be able to see the name of the wifi and understand what it means, their parents have to explain it to them. I definitely wouldn't consider this petty. Just cruel.
If this story is true … you’re not the hero you think you are. “I just couldn’t pretend anymore”. It appears you also couldn’t behave like an adult. YTA - You chose the most embarrassing & insensitive way to communicate your concerns with your sister. Your intent was to blow up her life in a very public way. You should not feel any pride in what you did.
Absolutely this. OP picked a way to tell not just Maya but everybody - and without any proof. It seemed at first like OP picked this way to be anonymous, but then entrevoit knows it was her, either from her taking credit or simple deduction.
This is now the talk of the community for a bit. It's going to be what people remember about this party and about Maya's family. It was awkward for everyone. Nobody knows if it was real or not. Bringing any proof to Maya now will reinforce the idea that others knew and didn't say a thing.
No matter what Maya decides to do next, a significant portion of the community will judge as wrong. There's no good path forward. The focus of cheating is now centered on Maya, the child, and the greater family - not the cheater. There is likely permanent damage to people's relationships with OP. This was a cruel way to push a life-changing event/moment onto someone in a way that leaves no decent option.
I know OP said they didn't think ahead of consequences like this, but that doesn't make it better. It just means that they valued their want to give in to this momentary desire over their relationship with Maya (& family), Maya's happiness and dignity, Maya's children' happiness and time to shine, etc.