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'AITA for choosing a concert over my best friend's wedding?' Readers say, actually no.

'AITA for choosing a concert over my best friend's wedding?' Readers say, actually no.


"AITA for choosing a concert over my best friend's wedding?"


My (26f) best friend (26f) Jessy is getting married on July 13th in Albania. We both live in Albania. The issue is that on July 13th my fiancé and I have booked tickets for the Eras tour in Milan almost 1 year in advance or else they'd sell out.

We also had to book hotels, flights etc because we'll stay there for 4 days. Jessy knew that I've booked tickets on that date. She hadn't booked her wedding yet. She got engaged in November and booked her wedding date last month.

She had told everyone she'd get married during summer but she never said the exact date up to this point when many people kept asking her so they can know their plans. I booked the tickets this past summer when the tour dates were announced.

When she told me the date I told her she can't be serious. She was like why? I reminded her I have the concert and the trip on those dates. And she told me ok? Then cancel it obviously?

I told her sorry I can't. I can't cancel the hotel, plane tickets and concert tickets. I'll have to pay a high fee to cancel all that and I don't think I can even cancel the concert tickets.

I reminded her it's something I've planned a year in advance and she knew. And she straight up told me that yes she knew but she didn't care because as a friend she'd expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding.

I told her I'm not cancelling my plans for something you knew a year in advance I'd do. She accused me of being ta basically for putting a trip and a concert over her wedding. She won't speak to me now unless I send her proof that I'm cancelling everything to attend her wedding.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


NTA, Sounds like she is jealous of you attending the concert. She easily could’ve asked you in advance or made a plan but didn’t. Would this be a concert you two would go to together if your finance wasn’t going?


NTA. Obviously. Not sure what to add... Is anyone other than her disagreeing with you?


NTA and nothing lost when you don't hear from her again. If your presence is that important she can pay all the cancellation fees and any other costs herself.


NTA I was going to say you were TA going from your title but she knew and if it was so important for her that you’re there she could’ve planned around you especially since it’s an extremely last minute wedding?

Seriously wondering who married this last minute if it isn’t just a courthouse wedding. She shouldn’t be surprised when lost of other guests can’t attend as well due to her poor planning.


NTA. You had plans well in advance. It’s an invite to the wedding, not a demand for your presence. You simply decline the invite. Not everyone will be able to attend. I missed a friends wedding because I was going to out of the country. That was nearly 10 years ago and we are still friends. This girl is not a true friend. Your life doesn’t revolve around her, and she’s ridiculous to think it should.


Soft YTA. Your friend knew about the concert, but she may not be the one to specifically pick the date, so you shouldn’t be mad at her for it. Talk to your fiancé about it to know what he thinks. Don’t ruin a longtime relationship because of a one day entertaining concert.


You have to decide what you want to do. You made plans for this concert a year ago and spent quite a bit of money! I really don’t think you need to change your plans. I would tell my friend I was terribly busy and give her a gift. Go and enjoy the concert.


NTA. Wow - the entitlement. She had all of the data she needed to make an informed decision as to her wedding date and she made that decision regardless of knowing you weren’t available that weekend. You know what they say about assuming. Shes the AH twice over for this.


NTA. Under normal circumstances I'd say you should prioritize your best friend's wedding over a concert. However, you made these plans over a year in advance and she knew about them.

Perhaps she wasn't feeling the "best friend" vibe because you are seeing Taylor Swift without her? Is she jealous of you? Could she not get tickets or not afford them??

In any case she is the AH for not only scheduling her wedding at the same time, but also trying to force you to cancel your trip. The solution is simple. Send your regrets, go to the concert, and get on with your life. She's not worth it.


NTA. the truth is rather ironic - by saying 'she didn't care because as a friend she'd expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding' she's saying she doesn't care about what you want, your plans, or your finances, and not only wouldn't drop plans for something important to you, she wouldn't even consider them.

Basically, she doesn't care about you. Did she do it on purpose as a power move? Has she shown this sort of controlling or 'prove your friendship to me' behaviour before?

I'm so sorry - that's extremely poor form on her part. Go to your concert and have a blast. There may well be other people she hasn't considered, and you won't be the only one she gets upset at if this is the type of attitude she has for her bf.

Even if you did go, you'd resent it, she'd sense that, and it could spoil the day anyway and / or be held over you. It's not just about you either - she's trying to ruin this for your fiance.

Remember he's affected by this too, so you're not having to handle this based solely on your own commitments and feelings. Weddings aren't a golden ticket for servitude and glorification from everyone around you. She's the AH.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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