'AITA for choosing my grandfather's funeral over my unborn daughter’s ultrasound?'

"AITA for choosing to go to my grandfather's funeral over my unborn daughter’s 20-week ultrasound?"

My wife (F 25) and I (M 26) are expecting a baby girl due in November. We are both so excited for it! I’ve been talking to her through my wife’s belly, being excited feeling kicks, all of the fun stuff. 3 weeks ago we scheduled the 20 week ultrasound (it’ll be closer to 22 weeks).

The last week and a half my grandfather’s health had been slowly diminishing. I had a talk with my father and family and were told that sometime within a week of his passing we would have the funeral. This made my wife and I have to talk about the plan. I was asked to be a pallbearer at the funeral.

She said she’d want to stay home with the dogs so we didn’t have to board them and that I could go by myself to the 4-4.5 hour trip up north to my fathers home town. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away late last night/early this morning. I called my father to make sure he was okay which he was holding on as much as one would when your father passes away.

But I was told the funeral would be held at 10 am on Wednesday…this just so happens to be the exact same day that my wife has the ultrasound. My wife is now upset that I plan to go to my grandfathers funeral instead of go to the ultrasound appointment. I said “well we could FaceTime? But it’s my grandfather” I know FaceTime isn’t the same. But she said “yeah, but this is your daughter."

Now she is mad and upset at me. I’m emotionally torn from this because I’m so excited for my baby girl but also really sad about my grandfather...I just...I want to know if I’m the ahole here. My wife’s feeling are always going to be valid, but I feel like mine aren’t being considered in this situation. I don’t know.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

EconomyVoice7358 said:

NTA. The appointment could be rescheduled, the funeral cannot be. I’ve delivered 5 children. I was glad when my husband could be at my appointments but often he couldn’t be. It’s not the end of the world.

Present-Duck4273 said:

This is a reschedule ultrasound situation. The OB would easily do this because funerals take precedence over a routine appointment. I’m shocked your wife wouldn’t do this automatically and want to support you.

dncrmom said:

Your wife needs to reschedule the ultrasound like a normal compassionate spouse & go to the funeral with you. She is the only AH here.

saddiebabbie said:

NTA. A 20-week ultrasound is important but can be rescheduled - worst case, go to a private gyno and pay for it so you can reschedule. It's not just your grandfather, it's your father who needs you. She should understand that.

mediabratt said:

NTA and I’m literally currently pregnant. It’s not that big of a deal it’s a long boring appointment. She can also very easily call to reschedule leading her case. She’s being unnecessarily emotional when she should be more supportive.

K_A_irony said:

You should be able to reschedule the ultrasound. It isn't like they HAVE to be done exactly on X day. Just get it rescheduled. NTA.