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'AITA for causing my co-worker's kid to get kicked out of daycare?' UPDATED

'AITA for causing my co-worker's kid to get kicked out of daycare?' UPDATED

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"AITA for causing my co-workers kid to be kicked out of daycare?"

I’m a server at a semi-popular restaurant in my city. I’m in college and this summer I’ve been interning with my states House of Representatives. I love both opportunities but something recently happened.

I’ve been serving at this restaurant since HS and I am now 21. I’ve basically had the same schedule since I started working and so have some of the other servers. One in particular, Lindsay, has started working there this past year and I’ve grown to like her. She’s a single mom and all she does is work work work to give her kid anything she could ever want.

She reminds me of my mom who was also a single mother but didn’t have time for me or my siblings because all she did was work all the time. I wanna help her give her daughter what I wish my mom gave me.

Anyway, I’m scheduled to come in at 3pm and I’m Lindsay’s relief. For the past summer I’ve been coming in around 1-2 so that Lindsay can leave earlier, beat the traffic, and get her kid from daycare before they close (at 3:30). The daycare is about an hour away so this works out perfectly. I even sometimes finish serving her tables and save the tip for her anyway.

Earlier in the week I had a pretty long day because I come to my serving job right after my internship. I was super tired because I also spent all night doing LSAT prep. I decided to take a nap for that hour and a half and go into work closer to 3. I get to work and Lindsay doesn’t say a word to me and left.

I figured she had a sh!tty day and I didn’t want to bother her so I didn’t say anything either. I kept coming in at my scheduled time for the rest of the week. Yesterday I came in and I see all the other servers gathered around Lindsay who’s in tears. I say hi to everyone and get the dirtiest looks.

I ask what’s wrong and apparently Lindsay has to find a new daycare for her kid because she’s been coming in an hour late to pick her up. Of course she blames it on me being “late” this week. And I tell her I was sorry but I never came in late. I came in when I was supposed to and that before this week I’ve been coming in extremely early so that I could help her out.

But that didn’t mean I owed it to her to do every time. I have things going on in my own life that I gotta deal with and I’m sure if she wanted to she could’ve worked out a better schedule with the managers (who’re really nice) or put her kid in a daycare that’s closer and more convenient.

I don’t think I did anything wrong but now all my co-workers are insulting me, ignoring me and refusing to cover my shifts. AITA?

TL;DR I stopped coming in early for my co-worker and because she couldn’t leave early her daughter got kicked out of daycare and she blames it all on me.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

said:

NTA - you've been doing something nice for her regardless of the fact it means you've been working extra. That said, maybe you could have pre warned her that you'd be unable to relieve her as early as you had been for a week so she could let nursery know? Regardless, you shouldn't have to do that, you did nothing wrong and you didn't know it'd result in that.

said:

You've been working at least an hour a day unpaid to help your friend out by doing her job for her, and somehow you're the villain in this??!? NTA. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

OP wrote in the comments:

I called in the second day to let her know but not the rest of the week. She didn’t say anything to me about it or even wondered why so I figured everything was fine.

said:

ESH only because you didn't communicate. You and Lindsey had an established routine and then one day seemingly at random you just stopped doing it, without giving her a heads up. I see in another comment you said you let her know the second day but not any of the other days.

She sucks because she should have communicated too. Especially after the first day. She also should have talked to her boss or talked to the daycare.

said:

NAH except for the daycare. What kind of daycare closes at 3:30? That's well before most people even leave from work.

And said:

You did something nice, that became normal then when you resumed only your required time, you became the bad guy. "no good deed goes unpunished" NTA. She's a dick for not appreciating you before, and now for just expecting it. Everyone but you sucks.

After reading the comments, OP shared this first update to her post:

Wwow I’ve been at work and didn’t this would get so much attention. I’ll read everyone’s comments later but as an FAQ, I did tell her either the second or third day that I wasn’t going to be coming early that week but would resume after. I also called in to tell her that I wasn’t going to come in and she never said anything to me after and whenever I saw her at work she ignored me.

The first day I came in at my scheduled time I also tried to talk to her about it but again she ignored me and although I apologized considering I didn’t let her know beforehand she didn’t ask me anything or asked to talk so I figured she got it figured out.

I also just found out that the managers spoke to her a while ago about getting her shift fixed and she said no because she got it covered (by me basically). So now I don’t feel bad at all. The managers were willing to fix her entire schedule so she can leave earlier without it affecting how much she was taking home that day and she said no because she relied on me. Not my problem at that point.

I read every single comment and learned something from each one. If I were in her shoes I would’ve appreciated it if I was given a heads up, definite fail on my part but like I said, I was tired at the time, not a good excuse but that’s what it was.

I texted Lindsay (because she’s still ignoring me) about it and apologized for the situation because I do feel really bad for her daughter. But I also told her that I wasn’t going to be coming in early for her AT ALL anymore although I intended to after this week. We both messed up but she has not came to me to discuss this at all or apologize for making our work environment very hostile for me.

Now most of the other servers won’t do anything for me which sucks but if they wanna be bitter about it that’s their problem. And since they care so much about this I’m hoping to see one of them step up to come in as early as I did (which I know won’t happen because they complain when they have to work their own scheduled shifts).

Lindsay and I will have a meeting with our managers tomorrow morning to sort this all out and I guess I’ll update tomorrow. Thanks again!

She later shared this update:

Hey, everyone! I can’t thank everyone enough for all the advice and takes on this situation. I’ve gained a lot of perspective. As promised, I’ve got a couple updates.

I’m at work right now and had a meeting with with Lindsay, my managers and the co-workers who were basically bullying me. First my managers had no sympathy for Lindsay because like I said, they came to her multiple times suggesting a schedule change and she always declined.

They’re going to fix her schedule in two weeks when we get our new schedule, but until then the rest of the girls (who were on her side), are gonna have to pick up those hours lol. They technically don’t have have to but they know they should if they know what’s good to them. They’ve already complained about it and basically said it’s my fault this happened blah blah blah sucks for them idc.

Right after the meeting Lindsay pulled me aside and wanted to talk to me and she apologized about everything and said she didn’t think everyone else would react so badly. She also said that she actually got her whole thing sorted with her kid and the daycare TWO months ago and that she’s just been needing a break before she actually got her daughter.

I understand her needing a break and would’ve gladly done the same if she had just been honest. I feel used. I asked her why she lied about this to everyone else resulting in me being the bitch of the workplace and she cried saying she didn’t think people would be so upset at me (???).

I asked her to tell everyone else the truth and she said I should just keep what she told me between the two us because it will look bad on me considering no one will believe me. She’s right. I’ll probably tell everyone anyway. I cannot believe this at all and don’t feel bad about any of this. I’m not sure if her daughter actually got kicked out of her daycare but if she didn’t I’m also pissed that she used her daughter to lie.

Sources: Reddit
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