College student gets roommate expelled, 'she betrayed me.' AITA? 'I ruined her life.'
"AITA for getting my roommate expelled after she betrayed me?"
CW: assault
I (20F) shared a dorm with “Lauren” (20F) this year. We weren’t best friends, but we got along well enough—until she did something I can’t forgive. A few months ago, I confided in Lauren about a deeply personal experience: I had been assaulted in my freshman year. It wasn’t something I told many people, but she seemed supportive, so I trusted her.
Fast forward to last weekend—there was a big party at a frat house, and the guy who assaulted me was there. I told Lauren I wasn’t comfortable going, but she went anyway. I was hurt, but let it go.
Then, the next morning, I woke up to dozens of messages. Lauren had hooked up with him and bragged about it in the school group chat. Worse? Someone told me she joked about how I was probably “overreacting” about what happened.
I confronted her, and she laughed in my face. She said, “I mean, if it was that bad, why didn’t you report it?” I was so hurt. I told her she was a disgusting person and that I never wanted to speak to her again.
But I didn’t stop there. I reported her to the university for harassment and retaliation. Turns out, she was already on thin ice for an academic misconduct issue. With my report, the school launched an investigation. Last week, she was expelled.
Now, people are calling me a vindictive b, saying I ruined her life over a “bad decision.” But she knew what she was doing. She betrayed me and then mocked my trauma. So, AITA?
EDITS:
The reason she was on thin ice for academic misconduct - She "accidentally'" ruined another student's project. No one could prove it was intentional so it was let go.
She paid someone else to write her essay. It was only once but she was caught. Also, I don't care who she hooked up with. Even if it was my assaulter. It's her choice to do whatever she wants and hang with whomever she wishes to.
The reason I didn't report it is because he told me there's no one to back me up on this, and no one would believe me considering we knew each other for a while. And I had alcohol in my system.
Lack of evidence to prove my assault - left me not doing anything.
I do realize I should have. But what's the point? I was dumb, and naive. I trusted him, I was friends with him for a while, and then he did me like this.
You cannot even comprehend the shame and embarrassment I felt when it happened and it didn't help that he convinced me no one's gonna believe me if I report it. I wasn't in the right headspace. I can report him now if I wish to, but no one wins in a he-said-she-said situation.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
GlitteringWhisperia said:
NTA. She didn’t just make a “bad decision”—she actively betrayed your trust, mocked your trauma, and then laughed in your face when confronted. That’s beyond cruel.
Reporting her for harassment and retaliation was completely justified, and the fact that she was already on thin ice with the university isn’t your fault. Actions have consequences. She ruined her own life by being a terrible person, not you. Don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking you did something wrong here.
TwinnkleTulip said:
NTA. Lauren deliberately betrayed and mocked you. Reporting her wasn’t vindictive—it was holding her accountable. Her actions had consequences, and that’s on her, not you.
Beginning-Disaster48 said:
NTA she got exactly what she deserved. Literally she got herself expelled through her disgusting BS, you just did your due diligence of reporting an evil cunt. Proud of you OP, keep your head held high.
Outside-Feeling5060 said:
NTA. What she did was far from an innocent mistake. She bragged about it to friends and mocked you for the assault. Don't feel bad at all about her getting expelled. You don't owe her anything. Besides, it's the university that expelled her, not you.
Logical_Ruse said:
NTA I’d be sorely tempted to tell her she was probably overreacting.
YouSayWotNow said:
It wasn't an accidental thing, it was a deliberate decision to belittle your experience, and to hurt you. She was the vindictive one in her behavior. NTA.