'AITA for complaining about money to someone much poorer than me?' 'The rest of brunch was a bit tense.'

"AITA for complaining about money to someone much poorer than me?"

I 32F used to be poor but now I'm probably considered rich. Most of my friends from high school and before are still pretty poor (I make like 10x their income). I was having brunch with my friend Linda (32f) and she was complaining about the crazy inflation and how currently it's so hard to make ends meet.

I said "yeah I know right? I remember when horizon milk was $2/half gal but now they were $7 for half gallons now." And she said I was too privileged to complain about cost of milk when she still struggles to pay $2 for an entire gallon of milk of whatever was on generic brand. I said sorry I was just trying to agree with her. The rest of brunch was a bit tense.

I also just in general have been having a hard time connecting with Linda and my other older childhood friends because we have different struggles. They seem to forget that just because I have more money, it doesn't mean I don't have struggles or I don't see their issues.

I forget to filter what I say and it can rub them the wrong way even with good intention. I never thought I would become this privileged rich snob, but maybe I have without realizing it?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

StAlvis said:

YTA. You have a preferred milk brand.

Accidental_Sage said:

NTA. Linda was clearly looking for a pity party and when she didn't get the handout she seems to have been scheming for by complaining to her "rich" friend, she lashed out. You were just trying to empathize, but she couldn’t handle it. Remember, SHE brought it up!

Honestly, sounds like jealousy mixed with entitlement. She wanted to complain but didn't like that you just complained as well instead of being all "oh poor BABY, here, I can help you, take some of MY money!!!" Just because you’re doing better financially doesn’t mean your struggles don't matter. If she can't accept that, it's her problem, not yours.

citrus_cinnamon said:

YTA, I'm trying to think of a better response you could have given that would have been better received by your friend but I'm actually struggling to come up with anything.

I think in the situation you might have been better off just saying "I'm sorry you're going through that" or "that sucks" or some other comment expressing empathy for her but not sounding like you're also struggling.

Because let's face it although it's an irrefutable fact that the price of milk has gone up, you making 10x her salary means you're probably not affected by the price increase so that sounded disingenuous.

Mikey3800 said:

NTA. Me and my wife are in the same position. We are much better off than our friends. It just happened over time as we made better financial decisions, didn't want kids etc. We just try to watch what we say.

It does suck sometimes because we don't share goals that we have made since it sounds like we are rubbing it in if we do. Just because you can afford something, it doesn't mean that you like when the price of it increases.

Asclepius545 said:

YTA. Learn how to read the room and be more empathetic. Yeah, you have problems but have the self awareness and empathy to recognize that others have it worse than you. In other words, don't be the jerk who complains about bad shoes to someone who got their feet amputated.

ILovePo1 said:

I get wanting to relate, but I can also see how it can be tone deaf. I’m personally a very frugal and cheap person, but both mine and my husband’s families are wealthy and have helped set us up for life. Even still, I find myself saying, “$30 for that? Hell no.”

I have a regular full time job. Not minimum wage, but still, my coworkers struggle. I usually keep my mouth shut because I understand my privilege. Realistically, I can never truly relate, even though I agree that things are annoyingly expensive.