'AITA for completely cutting off both parents for treating my pregnant wife badly?' 'It's her body.'

"AITA for completely cutting off both parents for treating my pregnant wife badly?"

Hello everyone. I’m 32m and my wife is 33F. She is currently 4 months pregnant with our first child. So for the past 8 years or so I’ve slowly distanced myself as much as possible. My mom is weirdly obsessed with hating my wife, like she wishes she was married to me or something.

My dad is just the type of guy to take my moms side on everything, wether she’s right or not. He’s also just straight up an ahole. The type of guy that yells at retail workers for sh$t that isn’t their fault lol.

Anyways, because of that mix they have hated my wife since we met at 24 and 25. Pretty much as soon as we met, I started to distance myself and my girl because I didn’t like the way they treated her, but now I have cut off all contact completely.

About a month ago, we announced our baby and my parents have been incredibly pushy about a lot. First of all, my wife’s mom passed away, so if it’s a girl we are naming her her moms first name, if it’s a boy we’re going to use her moms middle name since it’s gender neutral.

This was always something that was important to her, she was extremely close with her mom and has always wanted to honour her like this.. I think it’s beautiful. And the middle name regardless of gender is the name of where we first met, I’m not going into specifics on here obviously but trust me it’s a cute name...

My parents? Had to make a big deal that they don’t get a say. My dad even said the words “it’s our son's baby, she’s just carrying it." That pissed me off, because it’s her baby she’s carrying too. I told them to give it a rest, my mom spent the entire night trying to guilt us into adding her name or my dads.

So now a few days both my parents come over to tell us they both will be in the room, I told them absolutely not because my wife already told me she only wants me there.

My mom gets all upset that she needs to see her first grandchild be born, my dad's pissed saying my wife is “selfish” and thinks she’s the first women to give birth. I told them it’s her body, and when it’s one of them pushing out a child they get to decide who’s there in the room.

By the time the conversation ended I was so pissed I told them to leave and not come back until they want to respect my wife, I kicked them out and for right now they are not able to contact us, as I blocked them from everything. Before blocking them I sent a message telling them to not contact her, not step foot on my property and stay away from the hospital when the time comes.

Now, if they decide to change and be respectful we would both (cautiously) welcome them back into our life But for right now all I know is my wife’s biggest dream in life was to be pregnant, and be a stay at home mom one day.

There’s literally tons of pictures of her as a child playing pregnant and I really want this time to be something she can cherish. They were stressing her out, and she was already struggling with the fact her mom isn’t here.

The last thing she needs is my mom attacking her. We’re also planning the gender reveal for 7 months (my wife wanted a bigger bump in the videos/photos so we’re waiting) and I was scared they would ruin it for her, so this gave me a lot of relief there as well.

My older brother sent me a message saying what I did was way too far, and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I stand by what I did, honestly I probably should have done it sooner, but it’s not easy. so what do you guys think?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Mirabel214 said:

NTA. I am a mom, my daughter is 17. I would NEVER consider asking her to be with her for the birth. I would offer my support if for any reason the father couldn’t be there at that time, but I would never there for her, not to see a grandchild being born.

My own mother never suggested coming for the delivery. I see so many of those post were the grandparents feel entitled to demand to be in the delivery room… Nevertheless, I think you made a mistake by sharing the name so early. It’s better to keep it to yourself until the birth to avoid the mess.

PuddinTamename said:

NTA. Your wife and child are your family. Your parents are intrusive and demanding. Not a good combo for a good marriage or life.

TheLeadSearcher said:

NTA - You wife's mental and physical health are the most important things right now, and you should support her any way you can. It's absolutely fine to cut off your as%hole parents until you are ready to see them. The birth of your child is a special day and don't let them ruin it.

DramaticImpression85 said:

NTA. Just a tip though, when discussing decisions you have made make sure you say "We have decided." When you said "my wife doesn't want anyone else in the delivery room."

It leaves her open to being attacked by them, if you say WE have decided they then have to attack YOU as well. (Obviously it's your wife's decision who is there but this is how you protect your wife from your parents). You are a team and a family, you protect her by making yourself one with her.

It's all about information from now on. All information to your side of the family goes through you, your wife should block your other family members . Don't tell family members who will tell them when she goes into labour. A group message announcing the baby's arrival once you are home from the hospital is all that is needed.

OriginalAd326 said:

NTA. We need more men like you! Bravo for standing up for what’s right and creating a beautiful new healthy family for yourself together with your wife.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 said:

NTA. Of course your brother doesn’t think it’s a big deal , it isn’t his wife they hate and treat like crap. You’re concern needs to be your wife , and child their the vulnerable ones right now, your parents can fend for themselves, and I assume that you’ve been warning them for the past few years to get their attitude towards your wife corrected, they’re the one that have crossed the line .

Honestly, if brothers aren’t going to be honest about the real issue , he needs to stay out of it, no one that disrespects your wife and child need to be in gets to stay involved it’s as simples as that.