'AITA for confronting my GF when I realized she took credit for something she didn’t do?' UPDATED

"AITA for confronting my GF when I realized she took credit for something she didn’t really do?"

So a couple days ago my girl and I were celebrating and she told me she made me chocolates as a gift. She was super excited about it, saying she spent hours on them. She works a little waitress job so she doesn't have a ton of money so I didn't mind her cheaping out a bit compared to what I got her.

I thought it was sweet that she tried. I didn't even know she knew how to make sweets and stuff because she always says she can barely cook.

Anyway, I asked her how she learned how to make it and it turns out she just melted pre-made chocolate and poured it into molds. She didn't even make any of the fillings herself either, she got store bought caramel and fruit spread and stuff. Literally all of it was premade.

She barely put in any effort at all and then she was all proud of herself. Usually I try to let things go because she's so sensitive to criticism but it just really irritated me that she tricked me like that, so I called her out on lying about it.

She got upset and said she did make them because she "put in so much effort". Halfway through arguing with me about if it's ok to lie to me or not she just starts texting someone and saying she doesn't want to argue any more.

She ended up getting her sister to come pick her up and she's been hanging out with her instead of me for the past two days. Her sister called me a dick on her way out too, which kinda makes me think my girl lied to her also about "making" them otherwise I don't know why she'd be mad at me. At first I was really sure that I was right, but maybe I need to be more forgiving of it?

Like at the end of the day, I know she's not a great cook so maybe I should've expected it not to actually be from scratch. She's usually really sweet and texts me a lot but she hasn't been talking to me much the past couple days so I'm starting to feel like maybe I overreacted.

TL;DR: She claimed she made me chocolates when she just melted pre-made stuff and assembled them. I confronted her, her sister called me a dick, and now I’m questioning if I overreacted.

Edit for clarity: You guys are really upset about the way I talk and I just wanted to address it. She knows I call her my girl, she calls me her dude, she calls it a little waitress job too because it's basically just a side gig. How I talk is not really the problem at all and I think it's strange you all are so focused on it.

Anyway, some others said my age and what I got her matters so I'm 32 and I got her some old figurines she collects.

Also, just to clarify, you guys seem to think she put a lot more effort into this than it sounded like she did from her explanation. I'm seeing people talking about thermometers and how hard it is to make chocolate melt but she literally only used the microwave to melt it and she doesn't even own a kitchen thermometer so I doubt she used one.

Maybe everyone just isn't understanding when I say she's got really little experience cooking and didn't seem to put much effort into these. She literally just melted it in the microwave, poured it into molds, and then put stuff she bought inside of it.

That doesn't even sound like what you guys are saying "homemade" chocolates are done like. Some people have said I should make my own to see how hard it is and I think I might because what you're all describing actually sounds hard, unlike what she did with the microwave and everything.

This is what people had to say to OP:

Not_AJ_Jones said:

Dude, my GF knows how you feel. For Valentine's Day I made her a prime rib roast with garlic mash and baby carrots. The problem is, I didn't raise the cow, butcher it and then prepare the roast. Instead, I bought it from the store and cooked it.

And that's not all!

I didn't grow the potatoes, the garlic, or the carrots. She got mad that I bought them, too! And don't get me started about the dishes. Those came from Ikea! All I did was spend two hours prepping, cooking, serving and cleaning. What a knob I am!

...YTA, man.

madeline_hatter said:

YTA and “she works a little waitress job” was all I needed to hear.

Jacce76 said:

YTA, that's literally how you make homemade chocolate. I was expecting you to say someone else had melted the chocolates and poured it. This gift would have taken at minimum an hour for her to make. You owe her a huge apology.

angyroomie said:

Lol I cannot believe this is real, so glad this kind of love has never found me. What did you expect her to have done? Traveled to the Ivory Coast to pick cacao beans and milk a cow personally herself to create chocolate from scratch?

Two days later, OP shared this update:

I decided to go ahead and apologize since it's clear she didn't lie since she didn't mislead me on purpose. I also chose not to make chocolates myself because I don't care to be in the kitchen much.

I thought if I posted a pic of the ones she made and asked for feedback from people who actually know what they're talking about, I could get a better idea of if she actually did them right or not and how hard that might be without having to try myself.

Like I said before, she doesn't even own a thermometer so all the people saying she "tempered it right" based on one comment where I talk about them being crunchy were probably wrong in my opinion.

The problem is that some of you are weirdos who follow people to other subs. At first, people were complimenting her chocolates so I was thinking maybe I really do need to apologize for thinking she put in no effort but then someone posted a link and a flood of people showed up to insult them just because I said I made them.

There were a lot of comments saying how it's obvious no effort was put in, they look terrible, etc. but I can't trust those since they came from a poisoned well, so to speak. I decided to just not mention that point to her since I couldn't get a clear answer on if they actually turned out well according to people who actually know about chocolate.

So, I texted her to ask if we could talk it over and she agreed. Because of how dramatic the commenters were, I did start to get a little nervous so I decided to go kind of over the top with the apology, took her on a date to a little arts and crafts place she likes to go and I got her some food.

She also apologized for running off to her sister's place and said she's gonna take a little break from her for a while because apparently she said some pretty messed up things about me that upset her.

I guess her sister thought she was gonna dump me so she assumed my girl would laugh along with her when she made some bigoted comments and said a few other things that really hurt my girl's feelings. Which is great in my opinion, I always got the feeling her sister never liked me and I guess now it's clear why.

Anyway, I'm just glad she came home and everything settled down. Sorry to all you people hoping she'd freak out and throw away 10 years over something as silly as candies lol. She may have a history with lying as I mentioned in the comments but she's definitely a lot more mature than you people.

For the record, what her sister did was get on a soapbox about why "our lifestyle" is wrong and if you don't think that's bigoted, then I don't even know what to tell you.

And the line about her having a history with lying refers to her losing her old job for lying about her contributions to her boss and for taking a bunch of days off at random. She was still getting up in the morning and acting like she was getting ready for work so I had no idea she was going to lose her job, and I have had to keep on top of all the bills and everything else because of it.

That's why she's not working a more substantial job now. And many are saying that I hold resentment towards her but I don't think so. I just still don't trust her fully, I am still finding out new things about what she was doing on those days she pretended to go to work, and I admit jumped the gun in thinking she lied on purpose.

So I don't see why you people are saying I'm not taking responsibility for myself here. I apologized for accusing her of lying intentionally and she accepted it. What more is there to do?