'AITA for congratulating my now ex-boyfriend and my coworker on their pregnancy?' UPDATED

"AITA for congratulating my now ex boyfriend and my coworker on their pregnancy?"

(Side note: my ex, our coworker, were all supervisors at the same company. How sister reports to our coworker. They're all on 1st shift, I am on 2nd shift)

I (28 Asian Female) found out that my boyfriend (31 Hispanic Male) of 3 years cheated on me with one of our coworkers and his sister had a part in it.

Last week on Friday, I was at work at my desk when my very nosy lead came up to me whispering and asking if I was ok. I was confused. She then pulled up her phone and asked if I had broken up with my now ex boyfriend because she screenshotted an instagram post that was made over the weekend by one of my coworkers(the person he cheated with).

I do not have social media so I told my nosy lead to show it to me and there it was, a picture of my coworker kissing my now ex boyfriend for the world to see. On Saturday, I told him we needed to talk so I went over to his house.

On my way there the same nosy lead sent me a screenshot of a post that was made by my coworker saying she was about 2 months pregnant. I called and asked him to explain himself while I was nearing his house and he just stayed quiet. He refused to come out or see me when I arrived at the house so we basically talked through the phone for the time I was there.

After I sent him the pictures of the screenshot (not telling him who sent it) He finally said things happened and he got close to our coworker after his sister started inviting her to the house then confessed that he started dating her 2 months ago, the day before his mom's 50th birthday, which he invited her to but told his sister to tell me that she was the one that invited the coworker.

He also told her to dress in gold (his favorite color) when the theme was hot pink to which everyone was wearing but her. On the day of his mom's birthday he spent the whole night drinking, talking and dancing with his sister and our coworker because they claim they didn't want her to feel “left out.” while I was with the rest of his family.

His cousin invited me to dance since my ex was dancing with our coworker when suddenly my ex pulled me to the side and was upset that i was dancing with his cousin. I told him I should be the one that is upset with how he has been acting all night but just didn't want to make a scene out of respect to his mom.

I ended up saying bye to his mom and said I wasn't feeling too well, so I left. That was when the cheaters decided they were going to go upstairs and make a baby, on the night of his mom's 50th birthday while everyone was celebrating downstairs. (The disrespect!). Mind you, he told me all this over the phone. After some time, his sister came down and said he had asked me to go back home for the day.

I yelled at her for helping her brother lie to me for the past 2 months. Her answer to me was that she didn't feel like I was good enough for her brother because I didn't speak Spanish(yes..Spanish!) and she liked my coworker because she was Hispanic and wanted her to date her brother(my now ex boyfriend) so she set them up.

After everything that I have done for them and her kids, helping her daughter get through speech therapy, watching her kids while she goes out to party and helping their mom run errands.

All this wasn't good enough because I needed to speak Spanish too. His mom came out to ask what was going on, I told her I came to say goodbye and that her son was a dog and a P.O.S. and he can do the explaining to her but that I was done.

She cried telling me not to go and that whatever he did to hurt me he would get back so for me to stay. I told her he will get what he deserves but I was done with her son. I remained professional(as best as I can) all week when the shifts overlapped at work. Even congratulated them on their pregnancy in front of everyone.

He called me to which I picked up, and asked, he wanted to know where he stands in our relationship so he can make a decision. And if I can not make a scene or make things awkward at work for them. I responded, there is no place for him to stand when there is no relationship and his decision was already made when he decided he wanted to sleep with another woman and impregnate her.

I didn't make things awkward. What they did, affected them, Not me This week, his sister ended up quitting after she got into an argument with another supervisor. Then Friday came back around today and I received some more good news, the company ended firing him because of a DUI which he now has 2 DUIs.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

RhubarbGoldberg wrote:

NTA. I would have gone nuclear, you handled this in such a tame, contained way. Definitely NTA. Seriously though, OP, f this dude and his sister. I know you're hurting now, but they seem shady and self absorbed that I believe you dodged a bullet here.

StructureKey2739 wrote:

Sounds like the only good person in that crappy family is the mom.

TheDuchess5975 wrote:

Now that’s what I call turning sugar into s@#%. They all got what they deserved and you are the last one standing. I love it, sorry they treated you this way but glad lady Karma came around quickly.

Two weeks later, OP shared an update.

Hello everyone. Thanks for all your comments in my original post. Here is an update on what has happened so far, and I am hoping it ends soon. Since my ex-boyfriend has been fired, my phone has been ringing nonstop with constant messages going off.

I ended up blocking his number. At work, my coworker has reported me to HR for harassment. My manager (who has been on PTO for the past 2 weeks) talked to me about it throughout the past week and asked what happened.

I told my manager I haven’t done or said anything to my coworker except for “congratulations” on her pregnancy and “hello” as a fellow coworker would. I told HR where the proof was that I was talking about her or making her uncomfortable and that they can go ask associates or other management members if I had said anything about her.

Also, for them to go ask her to explain to them exactly why she felt I was harassing her, on what grounds. Apparently, associates and management have been talking about her pregnancy and how my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and is the baby daddy.

She is saying that I told everyone about it. (pathetic) She needs to realize that the only reason everyone knows is because she purposefully posted it on Instagram for the world to see about her and my ex-boyfriend's scandalous relationship and also announcing her pregnancy.

It has been confirmed by HR after asking management and associates that I have not said anything to my coworker but that day when everyone congratulated her on her pregnancy.

Also, that I didn't say anything to anyone about my cheating ex-boyfriend and coworker but that everyone found out through her post on Instagram. They said they would talk to her and handle this situation but for the time being, I was to keep a distance. (fine with me) I’m not sure how they will take care of this situation, but I’ll wait and see what happens.

Now, over the weekend, I went over to their house to get my stuff after confirming with his mom that he was not home. She agreed to help pack my stuff for me as well so I can just go in and out. She had the garage open and was finishing up packing stuff, so I went to help her finish.

As we were finishing, he pulled up on the driveway so I grabbed the last of what I could and told his mom I was leaving. I rushed to my car, but he stopped me and said he wanted to talk. There was nothing to talk about. His mom told him to let me leave. She walks over to pull him to the side but he brushes her off. He wouldn’t let me leave until we talked. He kept saying to listen to him he needed to talk to me.

At this point I was just over it, I responded, “What is there to talk about? The day I came over here and asked you to explain to me what happened, you couldn’t even come outside and tell me. Not even for a second did I see your face. I gave you a chance to come out and explain yourself, but you threw that chance away.

You only spoke with me over the phone and not once did you even apologize for having cheated on me. You couldn’t even come out to face me, so you sent your sister to tell me to leave and that already explains what you are not. You’re not a man, you can’t even own up to your wrongdoing. Now that you want to talk, I don’t have to listen since there is nothing between the two of us.”

I pushed past him and placed the box in my trunk and went to get in the driver seat. He was still insisting that I talk to him. He then said he was sorry, he didn't know what he was thinking, it was all a mistake and that he still loves me and that he wouldn't be with her if she wasn't pregnant. His mom told him "Cheating is not a mistake. You did it because you wanted to do it.

Your love was not sincere; you wanted someone else. You did the act so now you suffer the consequences." I told him, "Even if she wasn't pregnant, you still cheated. For that alone, I will still leave." She pulled him away and waved me off as I left. Since I have his number blocked, he was using his mom’s phone to call me, but I hung up once I heard it was him.

She then sent me a text message to block her number. Honestly, I feel horrible that his mom had to witness all this. She was such a lovely person. She cared for me as if I was her daughter. I really do wish the best for her and her grandkids, but may my ex-boyfriend, his sister and my coworker get all the karma they deserve.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

PoeticAphrodite wrote:

They already have their karma and its each other. Sorry for the mom though but also congratulations on your healing journey.

GoodWin7889 wrote:

Those two are going to make each other miserable. He is always going to feel she trapped him and she is always going to know he is only with her for the baby. I’m so glad his Mom set him straight, I don’t think AP is going to win any points with her.

maywellflower wrote:

Their mom is so going hold over their heads for the rest of whomever dies 1st lives, of you being the one she likes gone due their cheating stupidity. I just read your 1st post that all 4 of them are Hispanic and as Hispanic myself.

I know those 3 done f#$ked up with her for life - even grandkid(s) between her son & co-worker will not stop their mom in always bringing up every single time how much she misses his nice Asian gf /you who was too good for him that he cheated on with trash/your co-worker.