Wife accuses husband of cheating based on her psychic friend's false prediction. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to consider stopping our divorce after my ex admitted her 'psychic' friend lied about me having an affair?"
Successful-Top3827
I met my wife, Rhona, when we were in college together. I made the obviously terrible assumption that the fact she was in post secondary education meant she had a modicum of common sense.
We started dating our senior year and after job hunting settled on moving back to her home town after graduating. We found an apartment and lived together for two years before getting married. All good so far.
At our wedding I met an old friend of hers. Anna. She offered to read my palm since she was part gypsy. Weird. I am in construction and I know a few people from that group and they call themselves Roma. Whatever.
Anna only comes to town every once in a while. She lives in NYC so she doesn't have time to visit since she has an exciting life there. She makes costumes for plays and cos-players. So we see her maybe four times over the next two years.
Last time she came was Labor Day last year. And that's when it got weird. All of a sudden Rhona starts acting oddly. She starts checking in on me at work. Coming by when I'm working late. Asking to use my phone because hers is almost out of power. That sort of thing.
She finally comes out and accuses me of having an affair. I thought she was joking so I laugh and say that I am not. This sets her off like a Roman candle. Because Anna told her I would laugh it off when Rhona came for the truth.
I laughed because it was ridiculous. I barely had time for a relationship with my wife and my job. I am home all weekend long. When I go golfing her brother is almost always either in my foursome or at the club.
And most importantly of all, I love my wife. I wouldn't do anything to harm her. And yet she takes the word of Anna, the psychic seamstress, over mine. She asks me to leave our apartment. I say no because I have nowhere else to go. So she leaves and moves back with her parents. They think she is nuts too.
I spent the next few months working and trying to convince her that I'm not cheating and that I want her to come home. I don't get invited to Thanksgiving because it would be "awkward".
I didn't even stick around for Christmas. I went home to see my family. They have been following all this stupidity without commenting until then. At Christmas they had an intervention.
They said my wife was having a break from reality and that she wasn't coming out of it. My dad told me to give my head a shake which he only does when I am being monumentally stupid.
When I got back I went to a lawyer and started my divorce. That was in January. Finally at the beginning of April Rhona calls me to talk. I say that we should talk through lawyers. She starts to cry and I agree to meet her in public if she will allow me to record our conversation so I can give a copy to my lawyer. She eventually agreed.
Turns out her and her parents hired a private detective to find my affair. Six months and a huge bill later zero evidence of an affair. She finally believes me and wants to come home.
I tell her that our lease is up in July and I already found a job in Denver near my family. She says she would come with me. I respectfully declined. I told her we just weren't right for each other. The truth is I do not want to have my offspring share DNA with this dingbat.
Anyway, I am moving ahead with my divorce. I am gutted that she took her friend's psychic vibration over mine. Her family has approached me several times. The last time her dad offered to front us a 25% down payment on a house if I agree to go to marriage counseling instead of just leaving.
I politely declined. I cannot be bought. Rhona is now depressed but I see no way of ever trusting her again. She is young enough she can marry again and wreck some other guy's life. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
JustNKayce
"This dingbat."
I could not have described her better. NTA of course.
Maleficent_Draft_564
”The truth is I do not want to have my offspring share DNA with this dingbat.”
That took me completely TF out.😂😂
Square_Band9870
NTA. This is the best line. Marriage is a partnership. If the spouse takes the word of a “psychic” or any 3rd party over the spouse when logic & the rules of time & space conflict, there’s a problem. Fundamentally incompatible. Love OP going to another town & starting over.
Fit_Reason7319
NTA - Once she took the word of a psychic over you, it was over. And the fact that she then convinced her parents to hire a PI to get info on your infidelities is just the icing on the top.
And only the PI coming up empty brought about the realization that you were telling the truth. What else will she blindly believe when her psychic friend has another vision? Run, don't walk.
SnooMacarons4844
I would imagine the parents hired the PI as a way you get her to come to her senses.
NotaFackingSheep
"She is young enough she can marry again and wreck some other guy's life"
OP is savage 😂 NTA.
The OP responded here:
Successful-Top3827
I'm a little bitter.
The_Crown_And_Anchor
Even her own parents want her out of their lives. Her dad spent a bunch of money on a private investigator...not to help his daughter, but to get her out of his home and to get that crazy out of his life. And now he's willing to literally give you money to take her back Really think about that. It'll help you sleep at night if you ever second guess your decision to run. NTA.
rwj212
Absolutely NTA. At least you found out before having kids! I can only imagine how that relationship would have been going forward. Every new magazine quiz or daytime talk show would lead to a new accusation.
Far-Season-695
NTA and in a weird way dude Anna helped you out in dodging a nuke. Glad it happened earlier in your relationship and not after you guys intertwined even further like kids, house etc.