'AITA if I continue to date someone even after I learned the shady way she found me?' UPDATED 2X

"WIBTA if I continue to date someone even after I found out how she found me?"

For the past two weeks I have been dating Alicia. We met when she followed me on instagram. We didn't have any mutuals but I followed her back and we started DMing. She is a beautiful solid 10 and works as a doctor.

I took her on a date last week and we had a great time and kissed at the end of it. Earlier this week I met up with my best friend Harriet who I have known since I was a kid. I told her about my date but when I showed her Alicia's picture she was very angry.

Harriet is a nurse and the two of them work in the same department at the same hospital. Harriet does not like Alicia. She claims that she is a snob who is constantly rude to her and humiliates her at every opportunity. She told me that Alicia saw her on a video call to me on a lunch break, and after she was done said I was cute and tried to pester her for my details.

Harriet refused but Alicia didn't give up, even said she would stop tormenting her at work if she convinced me to go out with her. At one point I was chatting to Harriet over text and she left her phone for a minute or so. According to Harriet this is when Alicia took her chance. Harriet has my number saved as my full name so that was all Alicia needed to look me up on social media.

Harriet was annoyed with me but understood that I didn't know and we're OK. I phoned up Alicia later and demanded the truth, and she started crying admitting that she did look on Harriet's phone, but it was only on impulse and she didn't plan to do it.

She said how sorry she was and begged me to please not dump her over this. I took some time to think about it but in the end we started talking again and met up yesterday. Alicia said she didn't understand why anyone would want to be friends with Harriet but we had a great time again and she invited me to come back home with her.

We had a great night and by the morning she asked if I'd like to be ''exclusive'' with her. I said I needed time which upset her. I would like to be but I feel like that would really damage my friendship with Harriet. She was fuming when I told her how Alicia found me and I don't think she'd be happy if she became my girlfriend.

Alicia is a gorgeous, funny, bubbly and lovely person who I really want to see more of but I have a gut feeling that I am betraying my friendship with Harriet.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

centuryblessings said:

"Alicia said she didn't understand why anyone would want to be friends with Harriet." YTA for not standing up for your friend.

MekiMeks said:

YTI - You’re The Idiot

meadowfieldsfleur said:

YTA for throwing Harriet under the bus here. She sounds like she is nice and told you the truth straight away. Leave Harriet out of your problems when this goes to shit. She warned you. You are going out with a woman that bullies her. Don't expect this friendship to survive.

.....This the start of the crazy, you know that right? If you want this drama train, go ahead and keep dating Alicia. Choo! Choo! PLEASE UPDATE.

saraloverock said:

ESH Alicia has already shown you that she’s sneaky, manipulative & disrespectful. Your ‘Best Friend’ has a strong dislike of her for what sound like legitimate reasons, but rather than trusting her judgement & the proof Alicia has given to you herself, you’re allowing your Penis to decide whether you should date her.

If she has already disrespected your best friend, to your face, why would you even consider dating her? If you don’t care for or respect Harriet, or yourself, then go ahead.

And MamaLlama615 said

ESH... Except Harriet. Poor Harriet, one of her oldest closest friends is willing to throw her under the bus for a "10" . There are so so so many red flags here. This girl is nuts!!! Remember people always put their best face on when they want someone to like them especially when dating. Her TRUE face is the hateful, mean person WHO TERRORIZES your close friend. Jesus poor Harriet needs better friends.

He later shared two updates. This is the first update:

I'm the @$$hole no doubt about that. My friendship with Harriet should come first, and as you guys have said it's wrong to date someone who is cruel to your friends. I texted Alicia saying I won't risk my friendship with Harriet by dating her, but she hasn't responded so I will update when she does.

He then shared this second update:

Sooo, after watching my phone all evening I got a call from Alicia and answered to her screaming down the phone. She called me every swear word under the sun. From her voice she sounded wasted drunk. She called me a ''snake'' and said that Harriet was a ''tramp'' and an ''ugly c-word'' and told me that I'd never get a girl as good as her again.

I let her rant at me for a few more seconds before cutting the call. I called Harriet and warned her that there may be more problems at work because of how angry Alicia was and that she should consider involving HR. Thanks for the guidance guys. It was a blunder to consider involving myself with her further but I see the error of my ways.