"AITA for cooking Thanksgiving 2.0?"
I love to cook. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year. After Thanksgiving dinner last week, we ended up giving more of our turkey leftovers away than planned. I mean, I’m overjoyed that everyone loved it and wanted some to take home!
So I happily gave it away. But I was expecting more meat leftover for leftover dishes like turkey pot pie, fried rice, soup, etc. I made a metric TON of turkey broth with the carcass, too. So we have like 2 gallons of delicious turkey broth and no turkey. See where this is going?
I’m at the grocery store yesterday and they’ve marked down the fresh turkeys. $10 for a high quality fresh 14 lb bird? Hell yeah! More turkey meat for more leftover broth meals! I decide to get one and roast it (not doing any brining or the whole crazy debacle, just roasting it with spices). I start it this afternoon and prep potatoes and carrots.
Takes hours. I jokingly send a text to my husband that we are having “Thanksgiving 2.0” tonight. He gets home and he is NOT happy. He thinks it’s “illogical” to have another Thanksgiving dinner so soon after the first. I’m like…it’s just a turkey. It’s the same as if I’d roasted a chicken?
And cost less, too. But he says “you just did this for yourself” (which really rubbed me the wrong way) and that I “should have asked” him. IMO, if I came home to someone who had cooked me a full meal with a roasted bird, carrots, potatoes, and gravy, I’d be on cloud nine. But he was just irritated and snapped at me about not wanting more Thanksgiving and that nobody wants that much turkey.
I told him if my home cooked dinner was so illogical and stupid, he could make his own dinner. So the kids and I ate turkey and potatoes, and he microwaved something, and I don’t feel good about how it all went down. For the record, I don’t usually consult him about dinner plans.
I also make dinner nearly every night and he never has to think about it. So now I am thinking of not cooking for him at all until he realizes how much I do around here. In my dreams, he should have been thanking me the minute he walked in! But I also don’t want to be passive-aggressive. Help me out here. Does my husband have a point?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Forwardquestion8437 wrote:
I also suggest turkey enchiladas.
OP responded:
I will add it to my list! In return, I suggest the NYT Cooking “Turkey Pot Pie” recipe, it is a slam dunk every time (and also very tasty with chicken)!
Amber11796 wrote:
NTA - you gave away the leftovers which means he ate turkey once a couple weeks ago. It’s not like you’re forcing him to eat turkey for the foreseeable future, you want to use the leftovers to make future meals that are very different than a thanksgiving turkey. If he wants to have a say in dinner, he needs to have a part in planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning for dinner too.
Illustrious-Shirt569 wrote:
NTA. It was smart and delicious. What more does he want?
I have nearly a half gallon of gravy left and no other leftovers (because we’ve run out in the past, so we made sooooo much this year), and I’m planning to get another on-sale turkey or turkey breast this weekend to use that up.
Delmoretn wrote:
NTA. You literally made a home-cooked meal for your family and he got mad because…it was turkey again? That’s such a wild hill to die on. iI someone surprised me with a full roast dinner, I'd be grateful, not grumpy. This feels less about turkey and more about him taking your cooking for granted.
Yesblanket wrote:
NTA. Your husband is insufferable. I get not wanting to have a whole other thanksgiving meal so soon, he’s absolutely valid with that. But his reaction does not justify being slightly annoyed with someone else preparing a meal for him. I’m surprised he didn’t just get over it and eat with the rest of you?
He’s obviously being a little diva by going out of his way to eat something different. He’s TA. And I won’t say if you should or shouldn’t cut off making dinner from him. It just seems like something to fight over more when it started as a fairly small issue. He’s the one blowing it up, but you have to remain on earth still.
tphatmcgee wrote:
I fully admit that I was spoiled, I had one of the last 'Leave It To Beaver' upbringing and I don't take it for granted. that is what they wanted, that is what worked for my mom and dad. (she worked until they had kids.)
So, she did the lion's share of the cooking, he grilled, he did some lunch stuff, but other than helping her willingly after he got home, dad helped by stopping at the store on the way home, wrangling kids and helping with dinner if she needed. The ONLY thing he ever said if he didn't like something was "it wouldn't hurt my feelings if we never had this again."
And that was after he finished eating. And even then, if she really craved it again, he would either eat it or make himself something else. Not that that happened often, she would usually do it when he was on a business trip. So, there are adult ways of saying and handling things while acknowledging your partner's efforts.
RipMichaelPoof wrote:
NTA and why the hell is your hubby throwing a damn tantrum over Thanksgiving 2.0!? That is CRAZY what is WRONG with him!?
If my wife completely unprompted texted me announcing Thanksgiving 2.0 it would make my whole freaking week.
"Illogical" what? His REACTION IS ILLOGICAL.
I think there's something else going on. Is he being a prick to you otherwise? Is he just picking fights?