'AITA for correcting my mom about my Dad’s recovery at the hospital when I only had 5 mins with him?'
"AITA for correcting my mom about my Dad’s recovery at the hospital when I only had 5 mins with him?"
Two weeks ago, my 20F brother, 17M, who is a college-bound baseball player, was throwing BP with our dad, 48M. The net was incorrectly place which resulted in my brother hitting a ball going about 95mph into our father's face. Luckily it hit him in the cheek so no TBI. Long story short due to doctors and insurance being the worst my dad finally got his surgery yesterday.
During the surgery my mom 49F and grandmother late 60’sF were being very hyperbolic talking about all the worst case scenarios. My mom is very anxious person so I understand that she just like that. I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. They were also talking about how my brother, who already feels guilty is around way to may people, and implying he should stop going to practices and what not.
Once the surgery was over the doctor came to the waiting room and mentioned that they had done a bone graft. My mother was apparently under the impression that we were only putting plates in his face. The doctor explained that it will take UP TO six months to heals but my dad should be eating normally in six weeks and like 80% percent of the healing is done.
After he leaves my mom and grandma get on chat GPT to get more info and start believing what it says over the literal doctor. I tell them that that’s not what the doctor said and we should probably trust him. My mom tells me I don’t know because I’m not doing the research I’m getting pissed off already so I go for a walk.
Not long after I come back the doctors were going to allow me and my brother to see him for about 5 minutes the hospital has a rule technically can only have one person in their recovery room however they were going to let us come in for a little bit.
While in there my dad still very drowsy asks a question about his healing/the bone graft and how long it will be until he can eat normally my mom tells him it will take at least six mouths to recover and that’s if it even takes and it might not.
Hi chairman and tell him that he should be able to eat normally about six weeks. My mom gets upset with me telling me to stop correcting her and to just leave l don’t want to argue with her, but my dad keeps on telling her to stop when he isn’t even supposed to be speaking she’s tells me to just leave I start to but then my dad tells me to come back.
After we do leave the room my brother and go home because we wouldn’t be able to see him for the rest of the night and my mom and I don’t say anything to each other but she is acting normal today. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Molassesinevitable53 wrote:
This happened in the recovery room? Wasn't there a nurse with him? What did they say?
OP responded:
So the way hospital worked was there was probably about 10 people in the room with curtains separating them and I saw about three nurse at a desk in center of the room but there was no one actually with him so idk if the nurse herd the interaction of if anything happened after I left.
OldBoyShenanigans wrote:
AI can be very contradictory. I'm currently seeing a specialist and he did tell me that Google Doctor often gets it wrong. Maybe have a quiet chat with a nurse and ask them to have the doctor talk to him (without Mum there) and tell Dad what to expect for the healing process. If the doctor can - write this all down for Dad, as it is a lot of information to process.
I had a serious injury to my face a few months ago and one of my specialists hand wrote it down for me - he did this on his own accord as he knew I was concussed at the time and I was able to re-read it later. Came in handy a few times as I would re-read it before each appointment with him and write up questions from that letter.
KaliTheBlaze wrote:
NTA. It’s important that your dad get correct info about his surgery and his prognosis, which means relying on his doctor and not AI.
AI is very unpredictable on its accuracy in general, and even if it was better than that, the fact is that the AI can’t know the details of exactly what was done in your father’s case and how big the graft surface was (which affects healing prognosis significantly).
Your mother and grandmother sound like they were being melodramatic fear-mongering nuisances, and they certainly were not helping your father.
here4cmmts wrote:
NTA but since dad is out of it. Leave the facts for later and just tell him. He can then confer with his doctor and follow doctor’s orders. It will also be on his discharge paperwork. Don’t argue with mom because you’re not going to win and it will only prolong her irritation. Sometimes growing up means knowing when to let people be wrong.
wide-speaker-7384 wrote:
My husband is a surgeon, I am a behavioral specialist, my mother in law is a pediatrician. We would all love if people stop using AI to "research" because the AI is too stupid to know when it has included disproven, discarded, outdated, and false information.
It doesn't think. It compiles information and then hallucinates answers because the extrapolation process can't determine value, accuracy, precision, and integrity of the sources.
If you have questions about your health conditions whether physical or mental, please consult a specialist and your care team. OP you can't stop others from being stupid. Wait till anesthesia wears off and tell your dad what the doctor said. Follow up with telling him your mother thinks the AI junkbot knows more than his doctors and to consult ONLY his doctors or other healthcare providers for instruction.
Glad-Feature-2117 wrote:
I'm a surgeon (though not this kind of surgeon) and it's infuriating people would rather listen to AI/random internet information than trust my training and many years of experience. I get it's a stressful time, but, if you aren't sure about something, please ask me questions rather than ignore my advice. In short, NTA, but your mother is.