'AITA for correcting someone who keeps mispronouncing my name?'
"AITA for correcting someone who keeps mispronouncing my name?"
I have a coworker who has been mispronouncing my name since they started working with me. It is not a difficult name, and I introduced myself clearly on day one. At first I assumed it was an honest mistake, so I corrected them politely. After that, it kept happening. I corrected them again, and then again, over the next several weeks.
This is someone I work with regularly. We are on the same team, attend the same meetings, and communicate almost daily. Other coworkers pronounce my name correctly without any issue. I have corrected this person privately more than once, and I have also corrected them casually during conversations when it came up.
Each time, they acknowledged it, but nothing changed.
During a recent meeting with several coworkers present, they mispronounced my name again while addressing me directly.
I corrected them immediately and said my name the right way, without raising my voice or making a scene. The room went quiet for a moment and the meeting continued. Afterward, they told me that I embarrassed them and that I should have pulled them aside instead of correcting them in front of others.
From my perspective, this was not the first correction. It was not even the fifth. At some point, it starts to feel disrespectful to have your name repeatedly said wrong, especially in a professional setting where basic courtesy matters. I do not think it should always be on the person being affected to quietly manage the situation when it keeps happening in public.
I did not insult them or comment beyond correcting my name. I did not add sarcasm or make a speech about it. I simply stated my name correctly, the same way I have done before. Still, I am being told that the way I handled it was inappropriate. AITA for correcting them in front of others after correcting them multiple times already?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
SecretSorceress wrote:
I'll say NTA. If your coworker has genuine difficulties pronouncing your name right they had plenty of time to tell you during any of the other occasions where you corrected them, which makes their continued mispronunciation either careless or intentional. In both cases, I feel like calling them out infront of others is justified.
OP responded:
Exactly. I corrected it multiple times before, so this wasn’t a first or even second occurrence.
MisoMod wrote:
NTA. You corrected them politely, calmly, and consistently for weeks privately, casually, and even in a meeting without raising your voice or making it dramatic. That's the textbook definition of handling it gracefully.
At this point, after multiple corrections, their continued mispronunciation isn't an "honest mistake" anymore it's either carelessness or low-key disrespect. Getting your name right is basic professional courtesy, like showing up on time or not talking over people. The person who told you that you embarrassed them (and should've pulled them aside) is shifting blame.
You didn't humiliate them you simply refused to let your own name be repeatedly mangled in front of colleagues. If they're embarrassed, it's because they realize they've been getting it wrong for ages despite being told otherwise. You don't owe them a private sidebar every single time they mess up, especially when it's become a pattern and happens in group settings anyway.
A quiet, immediate correction ("Actually, it's [correct name]") is perfectly appropriate. Stand your ground. You're allowed to expect people to say your name correctly, full stop. If they keep "forgetting," that's on them not on you for politely reminding them. You're definitely NTA here.
OP responded:
Well said. A name shouldn’t be this hard to get right.
raem6911 wrote:
It is disrespectful. Most likely on purpose. Start mispronouncing their name. Hi Richard, mind if I call you Dick?
OP responded:
Maybe I should start getting creative too. Funny how names suddenly become easy when it’s their turn.
Inside_problem9501 wrote:
NTA. If they were embarrassed, it’s because they’ve been doing this wrong for weeks despite being corrected. Names matter, especially in a professional setting. Expecting you to keep pulling them aside indefinitely just shifts all the emotional labor onto you. A brief, calm correction in the moment is reasonable.
OP responded:
Exactly. After weeks of corrections, a quick reminder in the moment is reasonable.
NYC-whmwm-ov50 wrote:
If they don't want you to correct them, then they should practice saying your name until they can say it correctly. You are not required to accept your name being said wrong. If they don't want to be embarrassed, they should not do embarrassing things because they are not entitled to belittling you.
Remind them that they seem uncapable if understanding you when no one else is around, so you will be taking advantage if the help other ears being present offers them in learning to say your name correctly. NTA.
Pitiful-Ad9261 wrote:
NTA, at some point you need to ignore them if they continue and if they get upset then say “oh I thought you were talking about someone seeing as my name is ….”. Or if you don’t want to be petty, just state that them forget how to say your name after multiple corrections is disrespectful and unprofessional and going forward you’d like them to attempt to say it right or however you want to work it.
mochalattes wrote:
NTA I've been that asshole before. I'm usually great with names, especially hard to pronounce names but I had one coworker who I just couldn't get their name right. I felt like a huge AH. Their name wasn't even that hard! I just kept saying it wrong. I told them to please keep correcting me until I get it right and apologized every time. Finally it clicked in my brain after like 2 weeks.
Perimentalpause wrote:
NTA. "I HAVE pulled you aside and corrected you privately. It clearly wasn't taking. I'm not thrilled to have to be public about it, but maybe now you'll actually put the effort into pronouncing my name the way I know YOU know it's said instead of whatever passive-aggressive nonsense you're doing.
Keep it up, Ba-La-Key, and I won't be the only one getting misnamed. It's clear to me and others you're doing it intentionally. EVERYONE else gets my name but you. Why is that?"