My cousin, Jason, got engaged and invited the whole family to the wedding. He sent me an e-vite with time, place, location and date which was set for June 2024. I RSVP'd, asked about their registration or if they prefer cash gifts.
I happened to call my brother, Milo, last week where he mentions he got his suit and asked about my outfit. I said I have this store I go to and I'll get my dress in May. He says "what? But the wedding is next week."
I think it's a joke and we go back and forth I ended up checking my e-invite. They changed the date but no one told me. I'm on the verge of tears, my brother feels awful and explains that the bride-to-be, Jessica, had changed the date 3 times and Jason told her if she changes it again - he's calling off the wedding as this was embarrassing him with his family.
Milo says Jessica sent out emails and he's sure he saw me there. I ask him to check the CC and screenshot where my name appears. Milo looks and says you're right there F%lic#aThomas@blahblahblah.com. I say Milo, what is our last name? Is it Thomas? "Nope."
Milo tells me to hold on and that he's calling Jason and Jason's mom to sort this out. He gives me a call back and says they'll be calling me that evening and that he knows I'm rightfully upset but to hear them out when I'm ready to talk. Jason and my aunt call me that night.
They both follow up via text. Jason apologizes and with less than a week notice "invites" me to the out-of-state wedding (was previously in state) which is in Texas btw and does NOT give me an address, just the time and date.
I explain how unwelcome I'm feeling and he apologizes, says I'm always welcome but that if I can't make it to please view the wedding via the zoom link. My aunt also texts me stating that the couple changed the date a few times but she'd love for me to come. She also does NOT PROVIDE AN ADDRESS. I let her know I wouldn't be able to attend as Texas has dozens of airports and I have no address.
***and NO my brother does not have the address. My aunt booked his flight for him. And his plus one is his best friend, whose flight my aunt also booked for him.
Jason and I were close as small kids but not for the past decade. It would be one thing to only send me a zoom invite from the beginning but this whole song and dance feels like a deliberate slap in the face. I'm really not sure how to forgive this or if I even should. Who's the AH?
NTA and please do not bother with a gift. Just don’t go. I cannot imagine changing the date so often you forget to tell people. Plus even if you had an address no way I would drop money on what would be expensive flights and accommodations (if there’s any left) bc they didn’t plan properly. Write them off unless they give you an actual apology. If not think of them of those relatives you might see occasionally but don’t think about.
NTA. Don’t send a gift. They're idiots for changing it 3x.
NTA. You RSVPed to the original invite which had ALL the necessary info. Just by chance, you find out the wedding date has moved, messages from two people with date and no knowledge of the time and place. Do they expect you to show up to some random as hell place in Texas and poof...it's where the wedding is being held?
You are not making this about you as some others have commented. Unfortunately, this whole scenario is ridiculous on cousin's end. I would not bother with a gift. Just because you were originally invited to the first date, you don't even know if you were actually invited to this latest date.
NTA. Even when they called to apologize they still didn’t invite you. An invitation without providing info to actually attend is not an invitation. Don’t buy a gift and don’t worry about it. This person does not seem to be part of your core so blow it off and move on.
Do not cross oceans for people who don’t cross puddles for you. NTA.
NTA. No gift, don’t go.
Absolutely no gift for this couple, they treated you very poorly. All that changing does not bode well for the wedding or frankly the marriage. Three times seems like game playing, or one upmanship or something. At the very least disorganized as hell. Stay away and treat yourself to something special instead of giving it to those clowns.