Ten years ago, I let my cousin into my house when he was 16. Every one of my video games he handled that day was missing the next day. He took the discs from the cases and who knows what happened to the discs after that. Some of those games were rare and out of print.
As soon as my mother found out I told his father, my uncle, about this, she called my uncle up and told him that because I was a diagnosed Aspie, I did not really know my cousin stole the games from me.
My cousin got away with stealing from me because of that. My mother later admitted she knew she lied to my uncle because she was worried that my cousin being grounded all summer would be bad for his mental health.
Now I have a house and I refuse to let this cousin into it until he apologizes for stealing from me. My family is telling me I am being childish because he was a child when he stole from me, but I think he learned it was safe to steal from me thanks to my mother’s intervention. How should I handle this?
An apology is the very least you should be asking. How about $2000 worth of payback. Plus an apology. At the very least. Has he no shame? Can't believe he hasn't even apologized or made some excuse.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Why don't you ask your family if they'll mind if you steal $2,000 worth of their stuff. It'd be childish to mind, right? And wow, your mother is a piece of work. Absolute NTA. Stand your ground! Hope you have managed to rebuild your game collection.
NTA. He should not only have to apologize, he should have to make restitution. Your cousin, your uncle, and your mother are all AHs.
So your cousin being grounded is bad for his mental health but you facing injustice, theft and having nobody trusting your claim and knowing your mother doesn't have your back is good? Your mother didn't want to create waves in the extended family by disregarding her child. Her choice. Now you want to enforce your boundaries : no thief in your house. Your choice. Period. NTA.
NTA. Don't let him into your house, even if he apologizes. Don't let your uncle or mother in, either. Your mother went out of her way to cover for him, knowing that he stole from you, when she should've had your back. "Oh, he was a child!" This was two years ago. How much growing, if any, has done?
Tell your family that it would be bad for your mental health to let them into your home, and that they can either respect your boundaries, or never speak to you again.
NTA. He got away with that once, if you let him in, he may steal even more.