'AITA for refusing to not wash my hands just because my coworker is 'sensitive' to smells?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to not wash my hands just because my coworker is 'sensitive' to smells?"
I have this coworker who always says she's sensitive to smells. No one's allowed to wear deodorant let alone perfume in the office because she throws a mini tantrum if she smells anything except clean undiluted oxygen.
Usually she just complains to the boss, then everyone gets a generic company wide email saying we're a scent free zone and blah blah blah. Eye roll. Everyone back to work.
Now, she's been extra annoying these last few weeks. She keeps saying she smells perfume. No one will admit to wearing any. We get emails about office smells almost daily now and nothing changes. So she's decided to take the law into her own hands so to speak.
Like 2 to 3 times a week she starts walking up and down the aisles, sticks her head into each person's desk, takes a big whiff, and moves on to the next desk. All to try to find the culprit.
On Friday, she did this again. I had just come back from the bathroom when she got to my desk. She did her smell test on me and immediately lost it. Apparently the perfume she's been smelling the last few weeks was coming off me. After she made a scene in front of everyone, we determined what she was smelling was hand soap I used in the bathroom.
She wasted enough time of my day by that point so I professionally told her to get lost and I'm not going to stop washing my hands because she's a hypochondriac. The way I phrased it was like "hand washing with soap is a non negotiable hygiene practice and i will not stop doing it. You can't reasonably expect me to avoid that?"
This was Friday and now I'm dreading being back tomorrow. Our boss was off Friday as well, so I expect I'm going to get pulled in to a meeting. AITA or are these just the Sunday scaries?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. If there is an issue with the scent of the soap, whomever stocks it will have to get unscented soap. Although at this time I'd say your workplace is justified in requiring medical documentation. Otherwise, it's time for you and your co-workers to file a complaint of harassment and her creating a hostile workplace.
Is this person doing any work or is she just wandering around looking for fragrant things? Ridiculous. NTA.
How is no deodorant a smell free zone?
Boss has let this nonsense go on too long.
She needs to wear a mask. I would have already reported her for sniffing me. If it comes up tomorrow tell them she is creating a hostile work environment by policing smells.
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
I saw a few people asking for updates, so here it is! It's not too exciting though lol. As I suspected, I got called into a meeting with my boss and the coworker today. I work at a small company so we don't have a dedicated HR department and our boss handles these kinds of issues.
We ended up figuring out what happened. The maintenance guy for the building put new soap in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. That lines up with when the coworker started smelling "perfume" in the office.
So every time someone used the bathroom and washed their hands, she thought the smell was perfume. Probably by the time she noticed the smell and did her investigation, the smell would mostly be gone (it's only hand soap and honestly doesn't smell strong) so she could never pin point the source.
On Friday, she happened to do her smell test on me right as I came back from the bathroom so it just happened the smell was still strong. My boss ended up just buying new hand soap, I think to smooth things over, and placed the bottles in the bathrooms. He asked everyone to please use the new unscented soaps until they can get the ones in the bathroom changed.
The coworker was making a bit of a scene during the meeting. She kept thrusting her finger at me and saying things like "YOU don't respect me! YOU don't take my issues seriously". Which is honestly true. I don't take her issues seriously.
There's times she smells something no one else can smell and she'll get angry at people using scents. Then I've seen her walk in the bathroom right after someone sprayed perfume and not notice anything.
Last year she also demanded everyone stop using scented detergents at home. No one I talk to has stopped, including myself, but she thinks everyone has and so doesn't smell scented detergent anymore coincidentally.
Anyways I'm professional at work. So while I don't actually take her seriously, I don't express that. I feel like she was just projecting her issues with other coworkers at me. We're not friends but I don't treat her any differently.
I don't even join in when people are talking trash about her, which is a lot lol. The only reason I sit near her is because everyone else has asked to move within a few weeks because she's so difficult. I can tolerate her so it's been my desk for a while.
Anyways, I asked her to explain what I did that makes her feel like I don't respect her. She couldn't come up with an answer (because there isn't one) and kind of just stumbled on her words.
Then I asked when I can expect an apology for embarrassing me on Friday and accusing me of not respecting her today. She ended up just walking out and when I got back to my desk, her purse was gone so I guess she just left for the day.
Also, this didn't click until I was reading some comments on my original post, but I guess this whole situation means she doesn't wash her hands otherwise she would have smelled the soap right away. Glad I never had any of her stuff at the potlucks! Anyway, that's the update.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Next time she starts on one of her rampages ask her how she didn't realize the hand soap had a smell on it in the bathroom.
She never washes her hands after going to the bathroom. Gross! I would pass that gem around the office. You owe her no kindness.
Yep she would have smelled the soap as soon as she dispensed it 🤢your coworker is nasty 🤮
Honestly I would sit down with your boss and make a complaint because this is not being addressed correctly. She is running around yelling at people and it's not appropriate behavior.
I'm saying this as a person who does have an allergic reaction to heavy perfume usage but she is going overboard. If she has this much of a problem she either needs to work from home or find a job where she's not working around people at all. She is doing too much.
Personally I'd do exactly what she wants. She doesn't want any potential chemical smells, I'd stop washing my pits back and chest. Big guy, sweats a lot, not exactly pleasant smelling after a day or three.
Do some heavy weight lifting the night before, and let her enjoy my all natural organic scent. But I like trolling people who deserve it, don't mind my smell, and I really don't have much shame when someone annoys me.