Customer refuses to continue good deed at a food cart, 'make sure you pass it on someday.' AITA?
"AITA for not 'passing it on' at the food cart?'
I was standing in a long line at a food cart, waiting to get a popcorn refill and the gentleman ahead of me gave his order, then said, “And whatever he wants!” directing his generous smile my way.
I immediately protested, “Sir, you don’t need to pay for mine.” But he said he wanted to, and I didn’t want it to be a thing, so I thanked him. Then he looked me in the eye and (expectantly) said “Pass it on.”
He smiled again and looked at the long line behind me before turning to get his order. I got my refill of popcorn and said thank you again and he looked so disappointed that I left instead of saying “I’ll pay for the guy behind me.” And he stopped me and seriously said ”Make sure you pass it on someday.”
I repeated the words of someone I once tried to pay back: “Pay it forward- that’s what it’s all about.” I thanked him again and escaped. But I came for the cheapest thing on the menu - popcorn is like two dollars.
And there was a large family behind me. And most people were coming in big groups for alcohol. So I might have gotten free popcorn, and I appreciate the gesture, but I might then have had to shell out fifty bucks for beer for a bunch of randos.
And I’ve never liked the “pass it on” thing. It’s generous of the first person, then the last person gets a freebie, but as is often said here, all the middle people get their prices randomized and it’s a headache for the workers.
So I will pay it forward sometime, and I definitely have in the past, but I didn’t play along in the moment and I could tell the man felt his grand gesture was wasted. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
UteLawyer said:
NTA. You tried to turn down his offer. If he wanted to do a good deed, he should have chosen a way that will be more impactful than buying a popcorn for a random stranger.
shontsu said:
Pay it forward is one of those ideas that sounds good in theory, but in practise it's a mess. You buy me a coffee, so now I'm morally obligated to pay for dinner for a family of 5? I just wanted a friggen coffee. And really, the moment it becomes a social obligation, it no longer becomes a generous gesture. NTA.
midcen-mod1018 said:
NTA. I’ve seen baristas mention that is a massive pain in the a$% and they would rather someone actually give a decent tip.
VegetableFluid9101 said:
Pass it on? "Hey everyone, this guy is paying for whatever we all want!" Unequivocally NTA. And his "good deed" is negated by expecting anything in return, even if not for himself. Tool.
reriiga said:
NTA - Pay it forward/Pass it On, whatever you want to call it is a nice gesture when doing it in the moment, but this should never be seen as an obligation. People who do it and then expect the next person to do it too are not doing it because they are being charitable, it's because they want the attention of starting it.
Hello_JustSayin said:
NTA. It is nice when people pay for the person behind them, but that gets lost when they do so with the expectation that you will do the same.