'AITA for cutting contact with my father?' 'DNA results showed that I was indeed his son.'

"AITA for cutting contact with my father after the DNA results showed that I was indeed his son?"

This is my first time posting, so I’m not entirely sure where to begin. Also, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance. My (21M) parents (52M and 45F) are currently going through a divorce. It’s not a nasty situation—just a recognition that they’ve stopped liking each other and can no longer stand being in the same room.

For some background: they’ve been married for just over 21 years (yes, I was the reason they got married), and aside from me (21M), they have another son (9M)—a full 11 years younger than me.

About two weeks ago, they had “the talk” with their lawyers. I’m away in another region of the country for college, but according to my mom, during the discussions, my father repeatedly questioned whether I was actually his son. He claimed I had ruined his life and called my mom horrible names (his words, not mine).

My mom decided to settle the matter with a DNA test, so I had to take leave from college and return home. The test was conducted with lawyers present, and throughout the entire process, my dad refused to look at me or say a single word to me.

Afterward, I went back to college, and their divorce proceedings resumed. When the DNA results came back, my mom called me really cheerful and happy—I am indeed his son. The day passed without a single call from my dad. It took him two weeks to reach out, but I didn’t answer.

Honestly, I had no desire to hear from someone who had been so adamant that I was nothing but a burden his entire life. My silence was interpreted as rebellion, and now everyone on my dad’s side of the family is angry with me.

So, my question is: Should I even try to have a relationship with my dad after what he said? And how can I make him understand how deeply his words hurt me?

EDIT:

Wow, thank you so much for all the support. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind today, hahaha. I'll update if there's anything to update. Once again, thank you for the support, the comments and the advice.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

mocha_lattes_ said:

NTA he took his issues with your mom out on you. He's done nothing to try to repair that. Even if you biologically weren't his kid, he raised you for 21 years. That makes you his damn kid.

Samarkand457 said:

I have no idea why people who literally call the legitimacy of their kids into question are shocked Pikachu face when their partners hand them their walking papers or their children dump them out of their lives. They basically labeled their progeny as actual b-words. Of course there are going to be a few hurt feelings. NTA.

dana-banana11 said:

NTA at all, have you told the family he said you ruined his life? He might have told them a more sympathatic version. I'm sorry you got such a horrible father.

Ybhave said:

NTA message your dad and demand a paternity test to prove he is your dad. When he points to the original insist that it only proves you are his son but doesn’t prove he’s your father. You could consider posting your side including your sperm donors atrocious behavior towards you. And the fact he weaponized his fatherhood in the divorce. I would go no contact and never look back.

MrSnippets said:

NTA. I'm sorry, but your father is an ahole. You're not required to have a relationship, especially as he's showing zero remorse about what he said and did.

BrainySmurf said:

It sounds to me like he used his request for DNA as a weapon to hurt your mom and in doing that wounded you too. You are NTA.

Dexixs said:

NTA. His actions were cruel. He intended to be cruel to your mom and instead hit both of you. I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone like that, either. Maybe if he’d been apologetic, or looked you in the eye and treated you like a father, even said no matter what the results are, you’re my son. But no. He assumed the worst and acted on it. That’s not a man who deserves loyalty or attention or even contact at all.

DrFabio23 said:

NTA. That being said, tell him that is how he made you feel.