'AITA for cutting our lunch short when my friend showed up late?'

"AITA for cutting our lunch short when my friend showed up late?"

I have a friend who is always late. Love him but it is so irritating so I decided I wanted to set some stronger boundaries around my time and energy. I took some advice I saw online to let late people arrive late, but you still leave at the time you had planned. Eventually they'll get the point and realize they can't just play with your time.

So my friend and I had a lunch at 1, friend texted at 12:50 that he's rushing across town and "will be there probably 20 mins late." I waited for them in the car until he got there at 1:35 and we sat down to eat.

A few minutes after getting my meal, I called over the waiter and asked for the check + a to go box. My friend started asking me what's going on/why am I leaving early and I told him I have something after I have to go to, that's why I told him 1 so I could make both events.

My friend: "Why didn't you tell me that? I would have gotten here better on time if I knew you had something after this." He then said he had to rush through many different things to get here, rush through traffic, was sorry about being late, but it was wrong of me not to communicate I had something time-sensitive afterward...

Either while scheduling our hangout or when he texted that he'd be late, so he could have had the option to go home. Now I feel bad and I'm wondering if I treated him poorly when I was just trying to be strict with my time going forward.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Signal_Wall_8445 said:

NTA. Your friend just admitted that he would try harder to keep his behavior from making you late for something, but otherwise he has no problem wasting your time and making you just sit around waiting for him. He is not very respectful of you.

Doktor_Seagull said:

NTA. Why are you questioning yourself, isn't this the exact point you set out to prove? That your time is important and this friend shouldn't just assume you can afford time to hang around waiting for them to grace you with their presence? They literally admitted they could have been on time, but chose instead to make you wait again.

Crazy0_0Gambler said:

NTA. You said your friend is ALWAYS late. He needs to realize that people have their own lives and don't run on his time. You did the right thing.

Epsilon109 said:

NTA, he's just making excuses and trying to justify his disregard for your time. He should value it regardless, not just when it has consequences for him.

Moose-Live said:

NTA. He basically said he could have been on time. Obviously it was not a priority for him and he doesn't respect your time.

PrairieGrrl5263 said:

NTA. The guy admitted he could have tried harder to get there. He doesn't respect your time.

goodreadKB said:

ESH. Your friend does need to learn to be on time, at least most of the time because at some point everyone is late for something. You could have handled this better. You could have told him when he texted he would be late that it was fine but you have to leave at x time because you have an appointment you cannot miss.

Also, you could just have an honest conversation with your friend about how him being late all the time upsets you and you would appreciate it if he could be on time more often. Communication goes a long way to resolve these kinds of problems.