'AITA for cutting off my friend after she hired me as makeup artist for her wedding?'

"AITA for cutting my friend off with no notice after I was hired as her makeup artist for her wedding?! (MIL from hell)"

For context I (31M) am a licensed esthetician and makeup artist. Years ago An old high school friend, Courtney, asked me to do her wedding makeup on the 4th of July. which is normally my day to sip cocktails and enjoy the fireworks, but for her, I said sure.

We hadn’t been super close recently, however we were super close throughout grade school and I was happy to help out an old friend. We did a trial, it went beautifully, she absolutely adored it, and we were all set.

Now, the wedding day rolls around. It’s a vineyard venue, and instead of a bridal suite, I get a conference room with horrible lighting. They shove me outside on a patio table in the blazing 89-degree heat.

We’re talking full summer sun, everyone’s dressed to the nines, and here I am trying to do makeup basically in an outdoor oven. I set up my gear and roll with it, because that’s what a pro does.

During all of the drama of setting up and going back and forth with this horrible event coordinator ,Courtney decides last minute she “forgot” to tell me she wants a bold red lip.

Now mind you we’re a hour and a half away from my home (I didn’t charge her my normal travel fee as I was also invited to be a guest) I’ve only brought neutral shades because that’s what we planned and that’s what she wanted for her bridesmaids...

So I quickly send my plus one with my card all the way to Walmart 20 min away in the middle of nowhere to grab every red lipstick and lip liner he can find to create her perfect “cool toned blue-red old Hollywood lip combo”.(which he successfully did all within an hour)

So I’m booked to do makeup for the bride Courtney, her 4 bridesmaids, her mom, her stepmom, and her future mother-in-law, Candy. Now, I have a particular order I try do go in—maid of honor first so she can help the bride with her needs, bridesmaids, then I like to do the bride second-to-last so her makeup is fresh but still has time to vibe and soak everything in beforehand and change and take pictures.

Then I finish all moms last and finally at the end everyone gets a solid touchup and setting spray—just a little final glitz & glam before they head down the aisle. But OH NO, miss soon to be mother in law, Candy insists she MUST go first because she has “things to do.” —I was warned about Candy and her behavior and I was already juggling so many obstacles.

But I let her go first to keep the peace, with a concern that I was worried with her errands she might ruin her makeup and if that happens to just see me before the ceremony for touchups with the rest of the girls or at least text me if needed so I can prepare accordingly and provided her with my contact information.(this comes into play later)

Candy pulls out this ancient expired makeup kit from the early 2000 if not earlier(think AVON & MARY KAY) and makes me swatch every single product all on her arms. (Mind you again I’m a LICENSED Esthetician with years of professional experience and also years as a manager at Sephora prior to owning my own business)

We waste a good half hour on her demands even after I repeatedly reassured her my kit was fully stocked & sanitized, I had every brand or product she could ever want, need or even dream of and at any price point! I even explained I provide a full set of tools assigned, cleaned and sanitized just for her...

But Candy still insisted I use HER makeup and HER brushes regardless of how expired , broken or dirty they might be. Candy completely disregarded the fact that I was extremely uncomfortable using products and tools that were not approved for me to use—as my state has a lot of strict rules for estheticians who practice makeup services.

You’re supposed to have product information for every product beings used, which for her products I did not, I need to be using products that aren’t expired and I have to make sure ALL products and tools are properly cleaned and sanitized properly again per STATE regulations. Against my better judgement I just pressed on to get Miss Candy OUT of my chair!

During her makeup service I was checking in with her the whole time (per her request)to make sure everything was to her liking ,so she can look the way she wanted to, especially after she was so particular (don’t worry with each check in she started with an insult to either me or my skill level but I dealt with her demands and insults as I didn’t have the time to start over on this devil woman ).

So after spending triple the amount of time it would normally take me to just do one client Candy was surprisingly very pleased with the outcome (which how could she not be as I followed every last request this woman asked for) and she thanked me paid me and went off to her errands and said she would see me for the ceremony.

Meanwhile, the four bridesmaids are getting super nervous because we’re quite obviously behind schedule, it’s extremely hot, and we’re outside for gods sake. Callie, the future SIL, goes second and wanted this gorgeous warm-toned orange/peach Smokey eye with some sparkle to make her crystal blue eyes pop like crazy and just super bronzer and glowy base—honey, she looked like a bronzed goddess.

Especially after she booked my spray tan and makeup package! EVERYONE was complimenting her and my work and I must say when I was finished with her makeup she said verbatim “oh my god I’ve never felt so beautiful” she was smiling ear to ear and was so giddy she even almost got emotional when she saw herself!?

Now I’ve known Callie as well since high school just like everyone else in the wedding party, and I’m so happy she felt that way because she deserves to and I worked very hard to perfect my craft and give people exactly what they ask for or as close to it as I can achieve!

Now, let’s get into the continued chaos that was unfolding . As I said before Because of Candy’s antics, I was running very behind. Two bridesmaids even go into a full panic and start to do their own makeup. I’m start to do damage control and reassure them and attempt to talk them off the ledge so I can focus and still get everyone done.

I quickly and beautifully finish the last three bridesmaids to calm them down! I then direct my attention to Courtney , who’s sorting through and swatching all of the new red lip combo options I was able to provide her but she’s now clearly a very anxious and distressed bride to be (thanks to candy’s little show she put on) you could read it all over her face.

I do Courtney’s makeup second-to-last just as planned so she’s fresh, and then again just as I’d planned I went to do the moms at the end which not only did I do quite beautifully but I was able to squeeze Courtney’s grandmother in last minute who just wanted a little eyeshadow and blush. (Surprisingly with time to spare)

Now EVERYONE is at ease and ready to go and Candy is nowhere to be found for touchups, let’s not forget though Miss Candy’s already done and insisted she knew what she was doing (since she is clearly a licensed professional)and insisted she didn’t need setting powder or setting spray because she didn’t want to look “cakey” —so as much as I hated that I listened to her.

My new haunting concern is what the hell is Candy going to look like because it’s 89°F and her makeup may not have made it through her important errands she so desperately needed to complete. However her lack of attendance for touch ups I assumed she looked to her liking and was forced to throw away my worries as best as I could.

I mean Regardless of where Candy was or how her makeup looked she threw off my whole flow and belittled me on top of that. Thankfully I was able to let it go and started feeling relieved to just be done and to have gotten everyone taken care of and to a level I felt proud of!

It’s a hot hot day, and the sun is blazing down on us and as everyone walks down the aisle to their seats, You can literally see the entire wedding party waiting in the rows of the vineyard from the seating area , and I’m just trying to keep everyone’s makeup from melting off before I take my seat but everyone is getting a front row seat of the show.

I take my seat and try to officially enjoy myself as a guest —Once everyone’s down the aisle, we move to the reception which is also outdoors with no air conditioning, no fans not even a slight breeze.

They put me and my plus one at the vendor table with the photographers and videographer and dj..even after I called courtney a friend my whole life and literally knew and grew up with everyone at that wedding and could’ve and would’ve happily sat with friends of mine that she knew I was close with —but regardless I was sitting at the vendor table expecting to be fed in the beginning.

At least so we can make sure we’re available to the couple if needed. Nope they served the vendor table DEAD last, so I’m FINALLY sitting down to eat after surviving off of coffee and dream for the day I was greeted with cold, soggy food from a food truck no less while everyone else is getting out and dancing and having a grand old time after their meals.

Thats when Hurricane Candy strikes again. She storms up to me as I’m about to finally eat and starts berating me about her daughter Callie’s makeup, claiming it looks “too natural” and stating “a pre-schooler could’ve done that” the begins asking for a refund.

Also from the moment she came trampling into my personal space at the reception I noticed her makeup looked completely different and that I even noticed it at the ceremony and so in that moment after her initial tantrum I redirected the conversation and confronted her about her new makeup look.

She then admits to me that she herself wiped off her own makeup and redid it herself, which is why she now looks like a completely different overly bronzed raccoon-eyed swamp creature with blue mascara to top it off.

Meanwhile, again throughout the entire event everyone was complimenting Callie’s look, and here’s Candy acting like I did absolutely nothing, insulting me and demanding a refund on top of that —Thankfully before anything else could unfold she was then called away for some photos with the couple! Which she promptly dismissed me and skipped over to.

So there I am, in shock and once I’m able to get Courtney alone I assist her with her dress and touch her up and check in with her and while I’m doing that I tell her what candy has been doing all day and apologize for even bringing it up but I just didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. She just brushed it off and said “ oh it’s just candy you’ll never have to hear from her again after today!”

She then proceeded to tell me how their about to do a sparkler exit photo but they were gonna keep dancing after it and proceeded to then frolic away into the night. So I’m now FUMING and desperately just wanting to leave.

However now I’m stuck at the venue even after the reception, waiting almost two hours longer because they wanted these sparkler pictures at the end of the night but getting 200 drunk people to complete that task was not quick nor efficient.

After some time I’m desperately just trying to leave, but I’m basically trapped while they do this whole sparkler exit and take photos. Again By this point, I’m exhausted, I’ve dealt with everything under the sun including Candy’s antics, Courtney at this point could care less about me and I just want to get out of there. Which thankfully I finally did.

Fast forward to 3 days After the wedding, I now am getting berated by Candy about this refund because as I previously stated in the beginning I unfortunately gave her my contact information. I then desperately try to reach out to Courtney to explain absolutely everything and get some guidance and closure, but she completely ignores me and ghosts me.

I even reach out to Candy’s daughter Callie, and she’s like, “oh my goodness that’s awful , I had no idea this was going on.” Meanwhile, Candy STILL keeps hounding me for a refund I’m talking 5-10 calls a day and even went as far as to post a bad review about my business not only on google but she took it to Facebook as well.

So at that point I’m FULLY just over it. I gave them all a discount because they were friends and they booked all these extra services with the wedding packages I offer, and I really truly went above and beyond to attempt to make everyone happy.

In the end, after countless times trying to reach out , Candy disputing the charges and failing , and me finally successfully reporting and removing all of Candy’s negative reviews after months of attempts and officially blocking her from all business and personal accounts. I finally decided to cut Courtney off completely.

She gave me no apologies, no acknowledgment of what I went through, no compassion or understanding whatsoever just silence. So in turn I’ve decided to return the favor permanently.

However me being treated so badly just wants to tell her one last time why I have made my decision even though we all know it’ll fall onto deaf ears that is if she would even give my message the pleasure of gracing it with her time …So, AITA for ending a friendship after dealing with all that chaos of being her wedding makeup artist and being treated like that on her big day?

This is what people had to say to OP:

BeBe_Love_Becky said:

Unless I missed something, it sounds like she wasn’t your friend in the first place and was just using you for your discounted services. You did what you felt was right and fair, and got slapped in the face for it. I’d snip-snip that crap and never look back.

Calm_Researcher9172 said:

I’m sorry you had to deal with Betch 1 and Betch 2. Courtney doesn’t give one shit about you. Cut your losses and move on to people who actually care.

spicychickennuggi35 said:

Courtney wasn't your friend. She didn't care enough to put you and your +1 with the other guests and not even help you sort things out with Candy. NTA.

Ok_Bit1981 said:

I am a retired licensed esthetician and makeup artist as well, and the stories I have from so called "friends'" weddings.. THE AUDACITY!!! They butter you up, say all the right things, then day of... poof! It's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! The personality switch is honestly scary. What's worse, they think THEY'RE doing you a favor when in reality, this is our business and we're doing a job.

The last friend-bride I did, I left after the final touchup. Her mom was a disaster, her MIL was evil personified, and she kept trying to defuse the situation with liquor, which only exasperated their behavior ten fold... There's nothing worse than applying makeup to a dehydrated drunk 50-60 year old at 9 am, lol!

NTA! Some people just don't respect our craft, and are professional victims in their own head.

OP responded:

lol I feel this on a spiritual level .. don’t even get me started .. even my little sister got the best of me for her micro destination wedding with macro demands and chaos —still to this day she’s the biggest bridezilla I know and I have gone no contact and I haven’t even met her newborn child because of that weekend but that’s another story for another day 😅