Bear with me, this is a long read. My husband Mitchell (26m) and I (26f) have this group of friends we hang out with. I knew them before I met my husband. It’s a group of 6 (excluding us). 5 males and 1 female. A few of them are siblings but we’re all close in age (24-28).
The members are Dalton m24, Jack m24, Lucas m27, Cole m26, Derek m28, and Ari f26 I first met Dalton and Jack 8 or so years ago when we worked together at a fast food place in a small town we all lived in. They invited me over to hang one night and the rest was history, we all became best friends. When I started dating Mitchell, I introduced him to the group and he fit right in.
Throughout the years we still hung out sometimes it was months in between but we still kept in touch through texts. Anyways a few months ago Derek invited us over for DnD and we’ve been playing a few days a week, every week since. Since Ari and I are the only two girls in the group, we like to hang out for a little together after our dnd sesh is over and gossip.
Ari is Wiccan and one night she offered to read my tarot cards. She started to give me a reading on my love life (at this point I was already married to Mitchell) while she was reading she started to choke up and get nervous. Ari kept saying the cards were showing her a sad ending and adultery and kept saying “are you sure you want to keep going?”
Anyways by the end she had me fully convinced my husband was going to cheat on me and divorce me.
I brushed it off bc we’ve always been good, it’ll be 7 years together and he’s amazing at communicating and sorting our issues out while being civil.
Anyways fast forward two weeks later and it’s Jack’s birthday. We go out bar hopping, we’re all about 3/4 drinks and a few shots deep. Mitchell finishes his drink, so I go to the bar to order him and myself another. I notice while I’m up ordering Ari is talking and laughing with Mitchell, which doesn’t bother me bc we’ve all been so close for so long, and I trust them both.
It’s taking me a while to get our drinks as the bar is packed. I just keep hearing Ari giggling. I’m getting excited like let’s get these drinks going bc I want to know what’s so funny!
Finally I get the drinks I got Mitchell a vodka tonic w extra olives, his fave. When I get to them, silence, they stop giggling. No big deal I give Mitchell his drink and head to the bathroom bc I had to pee, I come back, they’re giggling again, Ari puts her hand on Mitchell’s hand on the drink glass and uses her other hand to grab the stick full of olives out of Mitchell’s drink, looks him in the eyes and sucks them off.
I felt my face burn red hot. I’m really comfortable in our relationship so it usually takes a lot for me to get jealous but the liquor made me feel some type of way. I told Mitchell I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to head out.
So we went home and I brought up how her actions, and him not stopping them made me uncomfortable. And he just brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal. The next day I vented to my sister Jamie about it and she said that it seems like the olive incident and the tarot card incident do not seem to be coincidental.
Since she said that I’ve been looking back on all the weird things I’ve over looked the past few years, (Ari always sitting next to him in dnd, their characters always departing from the group and going off on side quests together, always going out to smoke when mitchell does, etc)
So here we are 6 months later and I’ve completely stopped all communication to Ari and the guys. A few of them have reached out asking to hangout but I lied and said we’re just super busy.
Mitchell and I were planning a party and he suggested we invite Ari. It put me off. I asked why? He replied well she’s your good friend. I told him I haven’t talked to her since the olive incident and she hasn’t tried to reach out either. He said I’m an @$$hole and looking too far into this.
Now he’s guilt tripping me for cutting off contact. AITA?
TLDR; I cut contact with a good friend because she seductively ate my husbands olives but he keeps saying it was nothing and I’m an @$$hole for ignoring her.
emma_kayte said:
I read tarot and she's full of shit. Tarot doesn't work that way. There wouldn't be a reading so specific. She was trying to plant some doubt in your head or she was letting her feelings get in the way of her interpretation.
I would continue to steer clear of her. The fact that she hasn't reached out either tells me she knows she messed up I would definitely look further into it though, I'm not sure I completely trust your husband
stolenfires said:
NTA, it sounds like Ari has a crush on your husband and is trying to act on it.
But you also have a husband problem. There's being oblivious, and then there's being obtuse. He's being obtuse. And he's dismissing your feelings. I'm a little worried that he got mad when you said you weren't going to invite Ari. It's possible he just likes the attention of feeling like another woman is into him, or it could be a lot more sinister.
((Also, as someone who has read Tarot before, Ari's full of shit. The cards are very abstract and symbolic. There is no way you can get a reading as concrete as 'your husband is going to cheat on you and leave you.' Instead you get warnings about interrupted communication with a romantic overtone and things of that nature))
SpecialistBit283 said:
You cutting her off but letting your husband slide? 🤨🤨🤨🤨 like you aren’t even going to investigate to see if there’s anything more? So you’re just going to let him potentially cheat in peace? Chilleeee wtf? She pretty much hinted that they’re screwing around on the low and that he’ll possibly leave you for her and you’re just letting him slide.
Revo63 said:
Of course she interpreted your cards that way. If they aren’t having an affair, it’s not for her lack of trying. Keep her away and let your husband know this IS a big deal so he better start treating it like one.
And PartyxGoblin said:
I think your husband is messing around with your friend. It’s time for you to investigate… don’t bring it up .. just look into it so he has no time to hide evidence. I’m sorry you’re being treated this way and I really hope he’s innocent.
I spoke to Mitchell about Ari. Before I get to that let me answer some questions.
•He was in the room while I was having my cards read, he just shook his head the whole time, he doesn’t believe in tarot.
• yall saying “how does she not have a phone? Everyone has a phone.” Dude we are from a pisspoor Midwest town. We are not privileged.
• I want to clarify that they’ve never been flirty before, ever. Not even a little. Ari has never even looked twice at Mitchell and he doesn’t seem to know she’s there half the time. It’s so out of the blue.
Now for the UPDATE: he said, he swears that he is absolutely not having an affair. He only mentioned Ari coming to the party bc he noticed I hadn’t been speaking to her for a while and that out of the whole group her and I seemed the closest. He also apologised and said he did over react about me cutting her off but it was because he honestly didn’t think it was that serious.
He also mentioned that he didn’t want to make a scene at the bar, because it was packed and he really didn’t think it was that big of an issue even though it seemed awkward.
I asked him how he’d feel if one of the guys did it to me and he said it’d be weird for sure. I asked about them always buddying up for smoking and dnd, he said he doesnt really notice them having more 1 on 1 time than everyone else. He said that he wished he didn’t dismiss my issues right away and gave what felt like a genuine apology.
Mitchell also suggested that I speak to Ari, and tell her how her behaviour made me feel. So I messaged Derek and said I wanted to come over and hang with Ari. So that’s where I’m going in a few hours. Literally shorting my pants as I’m not one for confrontation so I’m hoping it’ll go over well.
Last night I went over to Ari’s house to talk to her, when I got there, Ari was out but Derek and the rest of the boys were home. Derek told me that Ari was out with their mom and would be back soon.
I sat and had a beer with the boys. I apologised to them for being a sh!tty friend and for not seeing them for so long. Cole (Ari’s friend with benefits who has feelings for her but she doesn’t reciprocate) asked me what was keeping me so busy. Honestly, I know he saw the aforementioned olive sucking and knew I had seen it so I figured he wanted me to come clean, and I did.
I told the guys everything that happened from the tarot reading to the olives and everything I started to think back on when having this revelation. Dalton started laughing at me, Derek put his face in his hands and said “oh my god.” And Cole said “what the hell are you talking about?”
Honestly I was super confused by their mixed reactions and wanted to just leave. I said “I know you saw her and Mitchell in the bar for Jacks birthday. Tell me that wasn’t what I saw.” And cole said “It wasn’t like that. Ari isn’t after Mitchell.” I just got up and went to Ari’s room to wait. I was hurt they just defended Ari and didn’t try to hear me out.
I scrolled through some responses on the post until I heard Ari get home about 20 minutes later. My stomach was in knots and I wanted to cry realizing that Ari and Mitchell could’ve been fooling around behind my back this whole time. Ari was one of my best friends and thing were so solid with mitchell and I. Ari came in the room and sat next to me on the bed.
Ari almost immediately folded and said “I know you’re mad at me. The boys told me. I swear I’m not into Mitchell, it’s not like that.” So I asked her to explain what the reading and the olives and everything else was about. She just started to cry. I went from sadness to anger. I yelled at her to answer me.
This is when sh!t got CRAZY. “I’ve felt really weird the past year or so. I’m just not into men. When we’re with the guys, it just feels so natural. I don’t know if I’m gay or something but I realized with Cole that it’s just not for me.”
She went on for a little longer about more personal things and even mentioned that she told the guys and was going to tell me but she thought one of the guys told me she was gay and i was mad at her about that and that’s why I ghosted her for 6 months??? But that still didn’t explain why she was being seductive towards mitchell and the tarot cards.
She claimed that when she read my cards she read straight from the instructions in the box so there’s that, and that she was not meaning to be sexy when she ate the olives, she was just drunk and wanted them.
I sat in silence. I was so confused, how could I be so horribly wrong? Then Ari reached over and grabbed my hand, “I’d never do something like that to you.” I said “I can’t believe you’d think I’d be mad that you’re gay.” She said Cole was mostly hurt because Ari was into his SISTER. They’d been talking and that was what brought clarity into Ari’s mind about not liking boys.
So we have it yall. Anticlimactic af but I’m so glad my husband isn’t cheating on me (at least with Ari, some of you almost had me convinced tho lol)