'AITA for cutting off my cousin and her mom after they accused me of stealing at her wedding?'
"AITA for cutting off my cousin and her mom after they accused me indirectly of stealing at her wedding?"
I'm in a tough spot and could really use some outside perspective on this situation. So, my cousin Emma and I have never been particularly close, but we've always been civil. When she got engaged in December 2022, I sent her a thoughtful present, which she thanked me for repeatedly.
Fast forward to February, and Emma invited me to her wedding in April 2024. Living abroad and starting a new job, I made it clear that I needed advance notice to attend, and thankfully, I managed to make it.
Emma asked me to be part of her wedding entry, and despite our not being very close, I agreed, hoping it would help us build a better relationship. However, just a week before the wedding, I found out she'd been talking negatively about me and my career as a project manager. It stung, but I didn't want to cause drama before her big day, so I kept quiet.
During the wedding weekend, I helped Emma get dressed for her Hindu ceremony, and her mom told me to leave the jewelry as she would handle it later. So, I only packed away the bangles. The entry went smoothly, and I attended the reception without any complaints. However, after the wedding, I chose not to leave a gift, intending to address the hurtful comments privately after the festivities.
Days later, Emma asked me about the missing jewelry, and I told her I hadn't touched it beyond what her mom instructed. Later that day, I saw Emma posting on Facebook about missing jewelry and implying that someone in the family might have taken it. I felt uneasy, especially since her mom and I were the only family members helping her get dressed.
Then things escalated when her sister made comments on the post saying, "we didn't like her anyway." Her mom reached out to me, asking about the bangles, which made me feel like they were singling me out. Even my grandmother called, further cementing that they may have discussed me as a suspect.
Finally, another cousin messaged me saying the jewelry was found boxed up in a car. But Emma refuses to retract her accusations online because she's embarrassed. Feeling betrayed, I chose to cut Emma and her mom out of my life. I deleted them from my socials and blocked their numbers.
Now, my grandma is upset, saying I was unfair for not explaining myself. So, am I the jerk for cutting them off without explanation? Should I have handled the situation differently? Thanks for your insights.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Chance_Chart_7065 said:
NTA. Sounds like exactly the kind of people to go NC with. Personally, I would shame them on their social media and then block, but that’s just me Also, the talking negatively about your job? Sounds like jealousy to me. Keep them out of your life.
Cybermagetx said:
Nta. They said you stole. Stuff was found. They owe you a massive public apology. Tell grandma to talk with them as they are the only ones at fault.
Karmaleena said:
NTA. You could still communicate with them why them accusing you and bashing you on social media is the reason just to make everything clear, but they sound like hateful people you will be better off without.
canyonemoon said:
NTA. Sounds like they're the type to gossip maliciously about people behind their backs at all times, not just in situations like this. Good riddance. And tell your grandmother to hound your cousin and aunt for a public apology to you for their accusations, instead of bothering you. They're the ones who messed up, they're the ones who publicly accused you. They can own up to their mistakes.
AlmostDeadUniStudent said:
NTA. What exactly is there for you to explain according to your grandma? You said you didn’t do anything and then they took it to social media where they still accused you. Your cousin was completely in the wrong, so the fact that your grandma is upset at you and trying to push some of the blame on you bothers me.
morbidnerd said:
NTA. Since your cousin wanted to go public without a spine, I'd personally post about the situation, tag everyone who made accusations and ask them when they're going to apologize since the items were found.