'AITA for cutting off my dad after he married a woman who was mean to my late mom?'

"AITA for staying no contact with my dad because after mom died he married her work rival who hated her?"

My mom died when I (24F) was 14. She had brain cancer. She died 3 months after her diagnosis and to be honest I don't think I will ever fully recover from it. But yes I had grief therapy.

When mom was alive she had this workplace rivalry with a woman "Dora". My mom and Dora did not get along and my mom did her best to avoid her. I remember mom saying Dora brought everyone down at the office but she did enough to keep her job so she kept her mouth shut. But things would flare whenever mom got promoted at work because Dora never did.

And since Dora worked for the company longer it made her really nasty to my mom. When my mom got sick and left her job the people she worked with all signed the card except for Dora. They all showed up at the funeral except for Dora too. But you know what Dora did? She left a comment on my mom's Facebook page saying she hoped she would rot in hell and she was finally free of mom.

Other coworkers saw it and told her how awful it was so she deleted it by the end of the day. But I saw it. I even screenshotted it and showed my dad. I thought it was sick. My dad said he did too.

Then 3 years later, when I was 17, he started dating Dora. He told me she wasn't a bad person and they met at a coffee shop again and just hit it off. He told me he wanted me to be happy for him and Dora made him happy and brought so much joy and light back into his life and he didn't want me to take her and mom's issues with each other out on Dora.

And he was all give her a chance for me, please. He begged me to at least try one lunch with them and see if I could like her. But I was disgusted. I told him I would never see him the same way if he could date that disgusting thing. He told me not to dehumanize her and workplace rivalry's can get heated. I said I didn't care because that comment on mom's Facebook after she died showed the kind of person she is.

My dad set up a meeting between us and Dora was trying to be sweet and even wanted to hug me but I shot her down cold and said she was not allowed to ever touch me. Dad told me I was being hostile and I should give her a chance. We argued and I told dad it was Dora or me. I said he couldn't keep me in his life if he was going to be with her.

He told me he wouldn't choose and I said that was his choice and I told him to leave me alone. I packed up my stuff and went to stay with my aunt. My dad tried to call and text and he reached out dozens of times but I blocked him and I still have him blocked today.

But then gramps (his dad) gave him his phone recently and he's been contacting me through that and asking to meet up and saying he loves and misses me and he heard I was getting married and wants to come. He said he hoped I had cooled down by now and was willing to be civil to Dora (now his wife). I blocked gramps' number and never replied to the texts.

My grandma mentioned it to me when I saw her and gramps this past weekend and she asked me why I hadn't given my dad a chance to be back in my life. She said no contact for so long was bad for everyone. I told her there is no good from having a relationship with them and my dad made his choice and I refuse to be around Dora.

Grandma told me I'm old enough to look past that to have a relationship with my dad. She said I'll be sorry if I don't take it once he's gone. I told her there will be zero regrets from me. She said that sounds so cold and to remember dad lost mom too and had his own feelings to think about. AITAH? Because I don't feel bad or regret my choice but maybe I should?

This is what people had to say to OP:

different-take4u said:

NTA. Print that screen shot and make it the gift you give your father and his lovely wife. Mail them copies and also to everyone that says you should forgive her for what she did. Show them all what she said with the date stamp highlighted for everyone to see when she said that.

imapancake4 said:

NTA. OF COURSE to him she's "not that bad" after they slept together. her comment was way too much even for a work rivalry, don't back down, she's a nasty woman.

TayJM465 said:

NTA. I don’t know why but my brain instantly jumped to Dora only being with your father because your mother had him first type situation. Feels like it’s all part of a sick plan. Dora posting that horrid comment on your mother’s passing is SO messed up. I would feel/act the same way as you.

Does not seem like a healthy dynamic for anyone to be involved in. Do what’s best for you and your mental health and I’m sorry for your tragic loss🤍

Maxwell_Street said:

NTA. Dora is pretty sick. Your mother is gone and she is still competing with her by getting with her husband. Your father isn't very smart.