'AITA for cutting off my cousin because she's the reason my BF broke up with me?'
"AITAH for cutting off my cousin after finding out she was the reason my ex broke up with me?"
DeepThrrll says:
So, here’s the deal… I (F, 25) recently found out my cousin (L, 23) hooked up with my ex (J, 27) right before he broke up with me. I was absolutely devastated when we broke up. I had no idea why it was happening. J and I had been together for 3 years.
We talked about the future, marriage, kids, all of it. It felt perfect. So when he broke up with me out of nowhere, I was completely blindsided. He told me he just wasn’t “feeling it anymore” and needed some space, but I got no real explanation. He wouldn’t tell me what I’d done wrong, or if it was even my fault. He just shut me out.
I spent the next few months crying, trying to figure out what went wrong, racking my brain, feeling like a total failure. I asked him about it several times, but every time I reached out, I just got the same vague “I don’t know what happened” responses. I mean, he was everything to me. I couldn’t believe I lost him, and I couldn’t move on, even when my friends kept telling me he probably had someone else.
Well, last week, I finally found out the truth, and I’m honestly still in shock. A mutual friend of mine and L’s told me that she and J had hooked up before he broke up with me. Apparently, they had been flirting for a while, and then one night, things just went too far. I was furious. This whole time, I’d been mourning the loss of my relationship when, in reality, it was because my cousin was messing around with him.
I was so angry at both of them, but mostly at L. She knew exactly how important J was to me. She was the one I’d gone to for advice when things were tough in the relationship. She’d always been there for me, telling me I deserved someone who’d treat me right, and then she goes behind my back like this?
I confronted her about it, and she didn’t deny it. She said, “It was before he broke up with you. I didn’t think it would mess things up this much.” But it didn’t matter when it happened. It felt like a betrayal no matter how she spun it.
Honestly, the worst part wasn’t just her hooking up with him. It was that she kept it from me. She knew I was going through hell, and she said nothing. And that’s where my friend comes in. I had a friend (T, 26) who knew about this whole situation, and she never told me.
I’d talk to her about how crushed I was, about how I just needed some kind of closure, and she’d just listen and comfort me, but she never mentioned anything about L and J. I found out from someone else, and honestly, it broke me even more. To find out that she knew and just let me suffer? That’s not a friend to me.
I ended up cutting both L and T off. I know some people think I’m overreacting, but I feel like they both betrayed me in the worst ways. I don’t care if L didn’t “mean to hurt me,” she knew what she was doing, and the fact that she didn’t tell me makes it even worse.
And as for T, how could she stand by and watch me go through all that pain and say nothing? I’ve blocked both of them, and I haven’t spoken to either of them since I found out. My family’s a mess now—some of them think I’m in the right, and some think I’m being too harsh.
So, AITAH for cutting off my cousin and my friend after I found out what happened? I just feel so betrayed, and I’m wondering if maybe I overdid it… but I can’t shake the feeling that I did what I had to do for myself.
Here are the top rated comments with OP's responses:
Inevitable_Rope8654 says:
You are not the AH! All of them involved betrayed you so cutting them of is the right thing to do, and by the looks of it you are better without your BF anyways he was a cheater and an AH.
OP responded:
Thinking about it you are right! It is very painful to be betrayed by people closest to you.
Sparklingwine23 says:
NTA, with "friends" like them who needs enemies. Good riddance, hopefully now you have some closure over your trashy ex and cousin and can move forward.
OP responded:
For me it's over I know the reason why he broke up with me and also know what people to cut of off my life.