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'AITA after cutting off my sister after how she behaved during my wedding weekend?'

'AITA after cutting off my sister after how she behaved during my wedding weekend?'

"AITA after cutting off my sister after how she behaved during my wedding weekend?"

Maid-of-honor here. Posting on behalf of the bride. This is a long one, so buckle up. For context: bride (30F) and groom (33M) just got married last weekend. They’re now enjoying a no-signal staycation in the UK countryside. I (the MoH) am the bride’s SIL, her original MoH dropped out due to trying (and failing) to steal the spotlight, so I stepped in.

The bride’s sister (let’s call her Cat, 27F) was a bridesmaid who the bride only started speaking to again two years ago after being estranged for six years. Cat also has a daughter (we’ll call her Tilly).

The night before the wedding we had a low-key girls’ night, we watched trashy movies, ate pizza, and went over any last-minute wedding prep. It was me, the bride, Cat and Tilly, and the bridesman (Kai).

From the moment she arrived, Cat was… difficult. She came in complaining about someone none of us knew from her work which already dampened the vibe, she then spent the whole night sitting in her coat by the window, glued to her phone and vaping, while the rest of us were chatting and hanging out whilst getting the wedding vibes going.

Later that night, when it was time for showers (so our hair was prepped for the stylist), the water stopped working. The bride’s brother came to the rescue, driving Cat and Tilly to his house so they could shower. When they got back, instead if a “hello,” Cat just announced she’d been invited to stay elsewhere but decided not to, so as not to “annoy the bride.” Mood killer again.

Cat then complained that the food had been ordered too late because Tilly needed to go to bed (she’s 9) even though Cat was the one who told us when to have food delivered.

For sleeping arrangements, Cat and Tilly took the bride’s bed. This meant the bride had to sleep on the sofa the night before her own wedding (it’s a one bedroom home so there were no other beds to sleep on).

She had originally planned to bunk with her sister and niece but knew the vibes were off and didn’t want extra stress. I offered my pull out bed but she refused because she didn’t want me to be uncomfortable, and she would fight me if I tried lol.

The morning of the wedding things started okay, I ordered pastries and coffee for everyone from a bakery the bride adores in her area. After that, things went a bit downhill:

- Cat couldn’t get Tilly ready. She kept saying she couldn’t paint her nails or that the curling irons weren’t working. The bride ended up doing Tilly’s hair, nails, and outfit. She didn’t complain (because that’s just who she is), but it was a lot for her to deal with on the morning of her wedding when she should have been the one being fussed over.

- Cat was asked to take some food platters to the bride’s brother’s car. She came back saying he was “fuming,” which upset the bride and made her snap. Bride has not been a bridezilla despite the amount of let downs she has faced throughout planning the wedding (family issues, caterers dropping out three weeks before the wedding, multiple dress fittings due to weight loss etc)

From there, Cat sulked. She refused to get dressed with us (missing out on photos), changed in the bathroom, wore the bride’s shoes and later yelled at the bride when she fell down some stairs in them.

Throughout the whole wedding she kept bringing up the bride’s father who refused to attend despite being in contact with the bride. She also focused on the people who didn’t show up at all to the wedding.

Cat tried to stir things up by asking guests if they were “uncomfortable” with the bride sitting downstairs (it was cooler down there in her heavy dress), and repeatedly reminded the bride that their family was “broken.”

At one point, when asked to stop, Cat even brought up how their father had paid for Cat’s child’s funeral previously but “couldn’t be bothered to show up for the bride on her special day.”

This really upset the bride because not only was she being reminded of how her only family had repeatedly dropped her, she also had to sit there and be ignored on her own wedding day by her own bridesmaid that she had gone out of her way to help.

Meanwhile, the sweetest part of the day was the groom’s dad walking the bride down the aisle, both were crying, and it was incredibly special. The bride felt so loved and welcomed into her new family that she has moulded with so well and I couldn’t be more honoured to a) be her MoH, and b) be able to call her my sister.

As the wedding closed down, Cat approached to say goodbye, she stood behind their aunt and had her back to bride the entire time, and only said a short ‘bye’ over her shoulder before leaving. Again, making the bride feel bad.

The next day, Cat messaged the bride saying she felt “uncomfortable” staying at the house to watch the animals because of how she’d been treated. This nearly ruined the newlyweds’ staycation plans.

She accused the bride of “butt-licking” me (the MoH) since we’d spent most of the wedding together. Bride asked for the house keys back, and Cat refused, saying she’d give them to their estranged (abusive) mother for the bride to pick up amongst a whole string of nasty comments about the brides demeanor which aren’t true.

Cat then demanded to be removed from all wedding photos and social media, demanded that pictures of her or Tilly shared are not shared anywhere, and asked for compensation for money she’d spent on the bride’s birthday (she turned 30 two days before the wedding) and wedding gift.

Bride calmly agreed to the photo/social media removal and reminded Cat that she had already paid for dresses, hair, makeup, and travel (basically everything for the wedding day). Suddenly, Cat backtracked and offered to watch the animals again (probably because she wasn’t getting the reaction she wanted).

The bride and groom told Cat they were no longer going away and were staying home due to the situation, hoping to stop Cat from breaking in and stealing anything (which they wouldn’t doubt she would do). At this point, the bride and groom have now had the locks changed I’m now helping the groom’s mom look after the animals until they’re back.

The bride feels guilty about distancing herself from her sister, but given everything, especially how Cat acted before, during, and after the wedding, and the threats, she wants to know if she wrong for putting distance between them, at least for now until she decides she wants a relationship at all? Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get all the details in! What do you think?

This is what people had to say to OP:

said:

Absolutely NTA!!! Omg that was trashy of Cat to do. WTF is her problem?

said:

I would go no contact with Cat forever. Who needs that in their lives. It sounds like most of the bride’s family isn’t worth the time of day and her husband’s family has really been accepting and loving.

It’s sad but not everyone has a loving family and trying to find ways to make them love you never works because it’s not you it’s THEM. They are the ones that are broken and they are only happy when they can hurt you and make you miserable.

Find people who love you and make you happy, whether it’s friends, your in-laws, or just the person you see in the mirror. Don’t keep chasing the people who only find joy in hurting you.

said:

NTA. What a nightmare of a family. The bride has nothing to feel guilty about. Stay NC with the sister and thank the Lord that her groom's family is normal and so welcoming.

said:

That was intense. She needs to cut her sister off immediately. I would save all text messages and voicemails. Turn off notifications for her sister’s number, but don’t block her. Don’t answer any calls let it go to voicemail. If she makes threats, it will all be evidence for a restraining order. Once the police report is made, then block her.

Sources: Reddit
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