'AITA for cutting off my sister at her wedding after what she did?'

"AITA for disowning my sister at her wedding?"

So it all started the weekend of my (34 female) sisters (we will call her Jessica) wedding. My kids (8 and 5), my boyfriend, my grandparents, my father and myself flew out to the state where Jessica’s wedding was.

After a lot of hassle and our flight being delayed we got to the hotel. Jessica, her fiancé (we will call him David) and some of her friends were all sitting at the patio bar when we arrived. She asked my boyfriend and I if we wanted to join them after getting the kids settled with my grandparents and we agreed we would join them for a little bit.

Everything was going okay once we get down there until Jessica’s friend asked me how I was handling my parent’s divorce. I told her that I answered the question and Jessica starts cussing me out and yelling at me in front of everyone because she disagrees with how I handled it (which was by staying out of it and not choosing sides). So my boyfriend and I went back up to our room.

The next day at the rehearsal Jessica will hardly talk to me and then it comes time for us to get in our places I get told that Jessica wants me to be the very last bridesmaid (I will be standing next to a tree as well).

At that point I’m wondering why she asked me to be a bridesmaid in the first place. After all that we all go out to eat and some of the other bridesmaids at dinner ask Jessica “how do you want us to do our makeup and hair tomorrow”?

Jessica says she doesn’t care and I said “oh yay”. She then looks at me and in front of everyone at the table says “no you have rules it’s just everyone else doesn’t”. Cool cool cool just add to the many things that have annoyed me this weekend but it’s just one more day then we go back home.

So the next morning I do my best to keep my mouth shut and take pics for her (her photographer wouldn’t be there for everyone’s make up and hair so she asked me to bring my camera and take pics for her since I do photography too). Every thing goes okay besides some snarky comments but that’s normal from her.

Then we get to the reception and the dj comes on and says “clear the dance floor the bide and groom have something they would like to show us”. To all of our shock they start giving each other NSFW choreographed lap dances. I’m just trying to get my kids to the back of the room and my grandparents took them out of there.

Then a little later I went dancing up to my sister and jokingly said “so are you going to have the birds and the bees talk with your niece and nephew now after that dance” ? She said what so I repeated my question. She then looks me in the eyes and says “I don't care about your kids, this is MY wedding”! At that point I walked away told my boyfriend what happened and we got the kids and left.

I have not spoken to her since (it’s been almost 9 months at this point) and there are still some people in my family that think I’m being an a-hole and should just forgive and forget. So you tell me…. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

RareStrawberry2020 said:

Was she always like this? Did things change because of your parents’ divorce? Does she…hate you?

OP responded:

We have never been close due to her always being like this unfortunately. Honestly I kinda think she does.

Consistent-Escape738 said:

You’re not the asshole. Your sister repeatedly disrespected you all weekend, then crossed a huge line by saying that about your kids. Weddings can be stressful, but that doesn’t excuse cruelty. If she really valued your relationship, she would have reached out in the last 9 months to apologize. Protecting yourself and your kids from that kind of toxic behavior isn’t wrong- it’s healthy

NoCan7312 said:

NTA. Truthfully, the fact that you both haven’t spoken in 9 months means the relationship was most likely not healthy in the first place. If not talking with her doesn’t affect you, then I would focus on living your life and enjoying time with your kids and boyfriend.

As for the family saying “forgive and forget”: 1) It seems like none of them got treated like you did, so I would tell them this is only between you and your sister and to bud out and 2) I would trash the forgive, and just forget about this until your sister comes around and realizes her actions towards you have been horrible. Wishing you well!

Nacho-Nudes said:

IDK about y'all, but I'd do the same tbh. No cap, her wedding doesn't give her a pass to be a brat. We're all adults here, she's gotta act like one.

IndividualWealth9776 said:

She was out of line. Regardless of her being mad or not. That’s something fucked up to say. She sounds like a brat.

OP responded:

She is a brat always has been it’s ridiculous.

spygirl43 said:

I hope you didn't give her those pictures.

And OP responded:

I deleted them 😊