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Dad accused of playing 'favorites' because he doesn't let stepdaughters bully his own.

Dad accused of playing 'favorites' because he doesn't let stepdaughters bully his own.


Who's your favorite child? This a question siblings will sometimes ask their parents. Sometimes the favorite is obvious, sometimes not so much, and other times, kids assume there's a favorite because of biological relations.

On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one dad gets accused of playing favorites simply because he won't let his daughter get bullied by his stepdaughters.

He writes:

My dad passed away two weeks ago. Myself, My wife 'Candace' my daughter (16) 'Shiloh' and her stepsisters (19) & (17) flew to my hometown to attend the funeral. After that, we got two hotel rooms (one for me and Candace, one for the girls).

While in the room, I got a call from Shiloh at 11 pm, crying and sounding like she was arguing with her stepsisters. I asked what the matter was, and she told me that her stepsisters insisted that she sleep on the floor (there was one large bed in the room, and there was enough space for all three girls to sleep on). I asked why and she said she didn't know.

I went to see the issue and talked with my stepdaughters about it. They kept talking but didn't explain why they told her to sleep on the floor. They just shrugged and said, 'It's better this way...we're more comfortable this way.' I told Shiloh to grab her things, and when one of my stepdaughters asked where we were going, I told her I was booking her a hotel room. Both looked upset but didn't say anything.

They must've called their mom because she was awake when I got back and started arguing with me about giving Shiloh an entire hotel room for herself. I explained why I did it, but she said I wasted money and that Shiloh could've sucked it up for one night on the floor.

I called her unreasonable for saying this, but she told me I showed the girls that I was 'playing favorites' and made my stepdaughters share a room while I gave my daughter an entire room for herself.

We went home, and Candace is still bringing it up, saying I mishandled this. She even pointed out how my stepdaughters are upset since they're not speaking to me. Candace got a room for the three girls so as not to stir drama and save money. She was in charge of hotel reservations since I was emotionally distressed. Also, Candace did NOT expect Shiloh to sleep on the floor. She wanted all three girls to share the bed.

The internet was not going to hold back.

_neontangles says:

What I'm getting from this is that your stepdaughters were trying to live up to the Disney depiction of step-sisters and were shocked when they couldn't just bully her into getting what they wanted. What's extra gross is that they did it when coming back from Shilo's grandparent's funeral. Talk about cruelty.

You're NTA (Not the A***hole). But what is wrong with Candace if she sees this as playing favorites? Her daughters tried to make yours sleep on the floor for fun. Sounds like the apples don't fall far from the tree. Have you pointed out that your daughter is also upset because of the situation, and she is playing favorites?

ryeong says:

Definitely NTA in this instance since he didn't book the room, but he W B T A if he doesn't address this now. What should have been an act of goodwill by Candace in taking over room arrangements so he could handle grieving became a power move. She thinks Shiloh, the only one with a real bond to the recently deceased grandparent, should've sucked it up and slept on the floor is very telling.

This is a hill to die on, OP. Don't trust her to make arrangements in the best interests of anyone in the future, and have a serious sit down about how this whole thing was handled, including her attitude towards the girls and how she tried to DARVO this to make it your fault. You do not want your child spending years being bullied, and I can promise you that those girls learned it from someone - I'm betting it wasn't their bio dad. Make sure Shiloh knows she can come to you because bullies can choose to keep going and get better about hiding it.

SlothLordMcMarekat says:

NTA. Candace is the one playing favorites. Expecting your daughter to sleep on the floor is some Cinderella type stuff. Maybe pull your daughter aside and find out if this is the only thing they’ve done to treat her badly.

OP you're not playing favorites your playing good dad.

Sources: Reddit
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