Entitled stepdad avoids chores by forcing step-daughter to do them while wife works.

Traditional gender norms dictate that women cook and clean while men work. Those norms are entirely outdated, and men who can't cook or clean are not ready for this modern world.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one man tries to get around cleaning by forcing his step-daughter to do it while his wife is at work.

His wife writes:

My daughter is in her second year in college, and although she lives in the dorms, she comes home to study quietly during finals. My husband (not her bio dad) has changed jobs and works full-time from home. I go to work from the office every day, so they're in the house by themselves.

They've always gotten along fairly well. There's respect, understanding, and trust in each other's part. I don't know if there's love, but I can't push it. My Husband met my daughter too late to represent a father figure for her, and she never saw him like that, so he didn't push it.

Lately, my daughter complained that my husband would put her to work with complete disregard for the fact that she was studying. She would stay in her room to study, and at some point, my husband would knock, saying, 'Hey, I just had lunch. Could you please clean up the table? I'm starting a meeting.' Or 'I spilled some water, mind wiping it, I gotta focus on work!'

She told me she feels he doesn't care about her study time and doesn't acknowledge that she is also working. She told me she wouldn't have minded if it was a one-time occurrence, but it has become a habit of his.

To make sure of it, I asked my daughter not to clean up the next time he asked. I caught him red-handed this time. When I came home to the dirty table, I asked my husband about it, and he said, 'Well [Daughter] should've cleaned it up!' My daughter said she didn't even have lunch today (they don't always eat together, sometimes one is hungry and one is not), and she didn't have time to clean up the table. I jumped at my husband, telling him my daughter has exams and came here to study, not to clean up after him.

He tried to defend himself, saying he had an urgent meeting. I told him he could've come to clean up afterward and mentioned I know it's not the first time it's happened. My husband sighed and said it wasn't a big deal for my daughter to spare a couple of minutes to put the dishes in the dishwasher quickly. My daughter said that if he thinks it could be done quickly, why didn't he do it?

I had to break the argument and determine that everyone cleans up after themselves. Later, my husband told me in private that he felt like I humiliated him in front of my daughter. I told him to grow up and stop acting like my daughter would pick up after his mess. He got upset. AITA?

Ask, and you will receive thoughts from the internet.

FauveSxMcW says:

Wow, NTA (Not the A**hole) your husband is being very sexist and entitled. Why should your daughter clean up HIS mess? That's crazy!!

VeryFluffy says:

NTA. And you need to ask why he thinks treating your daughter as his servant is okay.

Dangerous-Emu-7924 says:

NTA. Don’t even think of 'interrupting her while she studies.' Just the audacity of your husband making a mess when HE has lunch or anything, and then he can’t be bothered to clean it up and demands she does it. What does he do when she’s not there? Absolutely NTA.

SkeetzSkeetz says:

OP, you need to chat with your husband and ask him what he would have done if your daughter wasn't there if he had dirtied some dishes or spilled water on the counter. Would he have waited for you to come home, or would he have done the responsible thing and did the job? She is not a maid or a housekeeper. He's a grown-a** man that can clean up after himself. NTA.

OP, if your husband doesn't learn to clean up after himself, put him in a timeout.