"AITA for setting a no-kissing boundary for my baby and not backing down?"
I’m a father to a 7-month-old daughter. We have a clear rule: no one kisses the baby. Health reasons — RSV, cold sores, flu, etc. This isn’t personal and applies to everyone. This started because I told my dad that if he or my stepmom can’t respect the no-kissing rule, then she doesn’t have to come over. I wasn’t angry, just clear about the boundary.
On the day they were supposed to visit, my dad texted that maybe it’s better if they don’t come at all. He added that it’s “a shame because he wanted to see the baby,” with some sad/disappointed emojis. It felt like guilt-tripping instead of just respecting the rule.
I replied: “That’s fine. My daughter’s health is more important than anyone’s feelings.” Now there’s tension and distance, like I caused this by setting a boundary. I’m irritated because all I did was protect my kid, yet I’m being treated like the bad guy for not backing down. AITA? NOTE: Stepmom has regular cold sores.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
AdEmpty4390 said:
“Dad, you CAN see the baby. You can hold her, rock her, sing to her, make silly faces at her, and tell her stories about following the Grateful Dead in 1976. You just can’t kiss her.”
Sea_Roof3637 said:
NTA. Something that would be a mind sniffle to a healthy adult could kill a baby, stand your ground and protect your daughter.
Stabby_kitten said:
NTA. I worked in the NICU for nearly 10 years, and not to fear monger, but one of the most significant experiences in my career was watching a mother remove life support after her newborn contracted HSV from their grandmother.y
Don’t back down! You are absolutely doing the right thing and keeping your baby safe! Their life is more important than any family feelings!
hwilliams0901 said:
Clearly NTA. The health of your baby is the most important thing. If your family cant enjoy seeing your child without putting their lips on them then they dont get to see the baby.
Don't let them guilt trip you with bullshit emotional manipulation. And let them know that they are trying to manipulate you(and youre aware of it) and youre sad they would rather not have a relationship with your child than just respect a healthy boundary. Keep your child healthy.
h3rs3lf_atl said:
NTA - No mouth/face kisses and don't let people touch your baby's hands without washing them first.
itsaribaybee said:
NTA. I literally fought my sister for planting a big wet one on my brand new baby's mouth. Protect your baby.