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Teen's stepdad throws framed photo of her decease father into the fire in a fit of rage. AITA?

Teen's stepdad throws framed photo of her decease father into the fire in a fit of rage. AITA?


"AITA for telling my parents friends that my dad is the reason we don't see my mom's oldest daughter?"


Quick bg to start: My mom was married twice. She had a daughter, Niamh, with her first husband. He died when Niamh was 6/7 years old. My mom's first husband's death was already tragic and traumatic for Niamh but what was worse was he died after leaving her school in the middle of the day to get back to work.

Her class had an activity hour for parents to join in with and Niamh and her dad made some kind of frame for a photo of them. He was dead five minutes after he left the school.

There was an accident. Niamh treasured that photo and the frame. My mom met my dad a year later and they got married 2 years after that. So Niamh would have been 8/9.

When Niamh was 14 she and my dad were arguing. I was too young to remember but I heard this story from my grandparents. Niamh and my dad would argue about my dad being Niamh's stepdad and my dad wanted her to accept him into the role of a real father figure. But Niamh didn't want that.

My dad would get so frustrated over it and Niamh would too. She wanted my dad to leave her alone. And then one day it became a bigger fight than normal because Niamh told someone she only lived with one parent and my dad was hurt or whatever.

It got crazy intense between them and then my dad did the worst thing he could ever do. He threw the frame Niamh and her dad made, the last thing she did with him before he died, into the fire.

There was a photo of Niamh and her dad in there too. From that moment on Niamh wanted nothing to do with us. I don't really remember Niamh well. I was only like 5 when I saw her last. I remember how much she despised my dad and knowing why, I totally get it. She never forgave mom for not divorcing dad on the spot either.

Niamh has not been in our lives since she was 17ish. She moved out of state to be with her paternal aunt and before that, for like a year, she lived with our shared grandparents.

But she didn't want to be around my parents at all. I only remember seeing her one time, when I was five and I'm almost 17 now, so yeah, don't really remember her. But knowing what went down it doesn't surprise me and I don't blame Niamh.

My parents had some friends over, mostly new friends, but some old ones too and at some point Niamh came up in conversation and my parents told their friends that Niamh had become such a troubled person and dad brought up how she disowned everyone and had wished for him to die the last time she saw us.

They were really making Niamh sound terrible so I told them the reason Niamh hated us all and the reason she wasn't around is because dad burned the last thing she ever made with her dad, something she probably had a lot of mixed emotions tied up in. So it was his fault.

Not Niamh's My parents were furious with me for saying all that to their friends. They told me it was not my place and I humiliated my dad.


Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


NTA, reading this was so painful, I hope one you are able to repair your relationship with your sister as adults.

The OP responded here:


I don't know how possible that will be. I'm the only one who kinda remembers her and I don't think she was exactly thrilled about us even before my dad did what he did. Which given all the fighting and stuff I can understand. I feel like it's disrespectful to her to say we're sisters since my dad did what he did to her.


I don’t think there is anything wrong reaching out to her as an adult. Just be prepared for nothing to come of it tho. Id personally go into it asking if she is willing to get to know you outside of who your parents are. Letting her know you disagree with how your parents handled the situation.


Definitely NTA. You defended your big sister, something your mom should have done on the day your dad burned the frame. Your dad has some real problems, I am sorry to say.

The OP again responded here:


Trust me I know. Ever since I realized he was capable of that or even of fighting with a kid about being her new dad, I realized he has some real big issues.


NTA. Your parents are so cruel to actually label the problem as a her issue. Good on you for standing up for her.


NTA- your parents are though, your Dad sound like a selfish monster and your mum totally failed her daughter. It doesn’t surprise me theyd want to rewrite history and shift the blame onto her. And I’d say it is your place, their actions also robbed you of a relationship with your sister.


NTA! Way to go OP! You stood up for what was right without thinking of the consequences and that takes courage. Your dad did something that is despicable and unforgivable. And Niamh is 100% in the right to cut him and your Mom out of her life.

Your Mom is the bigger a$$h0l3, since she stood by silently while your dad humiliated and hurt your sister, her daughter in the worst possible manner. As a way for you and Niamh to get some closure, maybe you can try and find ways to reach out to her and let her know that she made the right decision and that you support her.

So, what do you think? If you could give the OP any advice here, what woul;d you say to them?

Sources: Reddit
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