'AITA for not going to my dad's second wedding after he cheated on my mom?'
"AITA for not going to my dad's second wedding after he cheated on my mom?"
I’m 25F and my parents were married for 27 years. They were that couple everyone thought would make it forever. Like they laughed a lot, went on trips, always looked happy together. I never really saw them fight.
Then about a year and half ago my mom found out my dad was cheating with some woman from his job. It wasn’t some one night thing either, it was a full on affair. Mom found texts, hotel stuff, everything. It completely destroyed her.
Dad moved out like a week later and went to live with that woman. Now she’s his fiancée. He tried to tell me the marriage was already dead and he just didn’t know how to leave, but come on. My mom was a mess for months. She couldn’t even eat properly for a while.
Now fast forward, dad calls me and says he wants me to come to his wedding with her. Says he hopes I can just see it as him being happy and that I shouldn’t take sides. I told him no, I’m not doing that. You don’t get to blow up our family then expect me to smile about it.
He got mad and said I was being immature and that I need to let go of grudges. He even had my grandma call me to say I’ll regret missing his wedding one day. I told her I’d regret pretending everything was fine more.
My mom told me she understands whatever I decide, but I could tell she felt relieved when I said I’m not going. My brother who’s 28 said he’s going cause he wants to keep the peace and thinks I’m being dramatic.
Now my dad hasn’t talked to me in like a month. Sometimes I do feel bad cause he’s still my dad, but honestly I can’t sit there watching him marry the woman who helped wreck my moms life. AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
mariehotwife84 said:
NTA. Your dad made his bed, now he’s mad you won’t pretend it’s comfy. You’re not obligated to celebrate someone else’s affair turning into a wedding.
OP responded:
Yeah, I'm not tryna ruin anything for him, I just can't sit there all fake happy while he marries the lady that messed up my mom's whole lief. Just feels off.
InMyFeelings88 said:
NTA. Your dad not accepting responsibility for what he put your family through and trying to emotionally manipulate you into supporting him, when it should be the other way around, is toxic AF.
OP responded:
He keeps saying "I just want everyone to move on" but it's easy to say that when you're the one who did the hurting.
Loud_Bodybuilder546 said:
NTA. And it’s crazy that your brother is calling you dramatic when your mother was crushed over this. Him and dad are both trash
OP responded:
It hurts cause I thought he'd get it. Instead he's all "let's just keep the peace" like peace with who? the people who wrecked our family?
OopsBerrySpill said:
NTA, mate. You gotta draw a line in the sand. Cheating ain't a small thing and it's totally legit to support your mom in this. Just 'cause he's your dad doesn't mean you gotta rubber-stamp all his actions. Also, it's damn fresh, maybe if it was years along you could think about bridging the gap, but rn - nah. You do you, man. Don't let 'em guilt trip you into something you ain't comfy with. Stand your ground. 👊
OP responded:
Appreciate that, seriously. Everyone keeps acting like I'm being cold but I'm just setting boundaries. I''m not gonna sit there pretending it's all good.
And herejusttoargue909 said:
Your dads a coward who hides behind his mom. Good for you op. Your dad could’ve asked for a separation and did things the right way but instead he fell in love then threw yall away. Your brother is a snake to your mom. Good luck op