Dancer installs pole in living room, roommate wants to remove it for 'nook;' AITA?
What's wrong with installing a pole in the middle of the living room?
It's chic, it's flirty, and it's a fun (and slightly dangerous) way to watch all of your friends attempt to climb it at parties. So, when a frustrated dancer decided to consult the moral compass of the internet about a decor dilemma, people were ready to join the debate.
'AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my roommate my stripper pole is staying in the living room?'
A few months ago, I (F20) decided I wanted to take up pole dancing. I told my roommates Amanda (F20) and Holly (F26) that I was thinking of getting one and installing it in the living room, and they said go ahead.
Side note: we had no furniture at the time, so this pole was installed in an empty living room. A little while later, since nobody else was getting furniture, I got a couch off Facebook Marketplace. Holly also got a TV for the living room.
Right after we got the TV, Holly demanded that we move the pole out of the backside of the living room so that the TV and couch could fit in the corner where the pole already is.
I was confused by her request because the couch was already placed close to the centre of the living room and there was an outlet available for the TV to go in front of the couch. I asked Holly why she wanted to move it into the corner, and she said because she wants a 'cozy little nook.'
I told her that the pole is quite difficult to move and install, and the pole being in its existing spot gives me enough room; the new spot she suggested would have me slightly in the way of the hallway, and I couldn’t tell if there was a stud where she wants to move it to.
Because of those reasons, I told Holly kindly that I wouldn’t be moving the pole. and the couch can stay where it is on the other side of the living room. partly because I own the couch, and since she simply asked me, I'm allowed to say no.
She didn’t respond well to this; she contacted our rental company and told them that we had an 'unauthorized stripper pole' in our unit that no one agreed to. An administrator came to our unit and told me that the pole needed to be removed.
I was obviously pissed she snitched on me, so I told Holly if she still wants her 'cozy little nook,' she can get her own couch. I'm restricting her from using mine. AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
JMarie113 decided everyone is the worst:
ESH. You are both being selfish and immature. Sounds like you guys have some growing up to do.
Bold_Phoenix agreed:
ESH. You're TA because you are unwilling to compromise in a shared living space. The pole was okay in the living room until you got furniture, now you don't have an empty room, so it makes sense for your roommate(s) to want to use the living room for its intended purpose. Your roommate is TA because she went to property management instead of trying to work with you on finding a compromise.
KronkLaSworda was on the roomie's side:
YTA. Yes, you had permission at first; however, as people get settled in, you need to accept changes. You don't get to permanently hog the common area with your exercise equipment. Put that in your room where it belongs. It would be like putting an exercise bike or bowflex in the middle of the living room.
leeleequack suggested a judgmental alternative:
I’m guessing keeping the pole in your room wasn’t an option? YTA. It’s not a bachelor pad it’s people’s homes.