'AITA? My daughter asked me to stop treating her BF like 'one of my clueless clients.''

"AITA? My daughter asked me to stop treating her BF like 'one of my clueless clients.'"

My daughter's boyfriend has always seem a very cautious, hard-working person. He owns his own house, his own car, no debts when it comes to any of this whatsover. He is very minimal and likes to save, not a spender at all. He has a stable good-earning job, not the greatest salary but a good, medium salary that certainly allows him to pay the bills and to save up his own money.

I am an accountant, when I found out through conversation over lunch that he indebted himself for a business deal, I was sort of taken aback because I didn't take him for such a reckless behavior.

I do think he was a bit reckless especially if for some reasons things take a turn for the worst in the future when it comes to real estate business. He should have at least waited a few years, to save up so he wouldn't have to in-debt himself.

Since I am an accountant I started working through the numbers in my head, thinking up worst case scenarios, best case scenarios, and he really won't be earning that much even if things go well so why he would even want to do this is beyond me.

Of course when I talked about it with him I kept it very professional and didn't really go into my own personal opinions on what he did. But when I talked to my daughter, I let it out that I didn't know what he was thinking, that he always seemed like a very cautious person and I couldn't for the life of me understand what he was thinking when he did this...

...That he's not even going to profit that much even if things go totally fine in the future and there's no worst case scenario. I don't know, to invest with money that he doesn't totally have, didn't seem like something that he would do and it totally shocked me. I told my daughter that this has been keeping me up at night and such.

My daughter was quiet all through me talking about this but then she just said that this is exactly why she was hoping this wouldn't be brought up with me because this was his business deal and that I am a pessimist and that I am practically calling her boyfriend "one of my idiot clients that never knows what they are doing."

And that she doesn't want to feel like that, that her father thinks her boyfriend is an idiot because she knows that her boyfriend only did this because he saw himself capable of doing it, otherwise he is not reckless to the point of risking something with a high probability of things going wrong.

She said she feels super uncomfortable with this, this is why she didn't even want to tell us what her boyfriend did. I do understand how mixing business with personal life can be awkward and I don't want that at all, I just wanted to provide a heads-up, to warn them of what can go wrong...

And what can they except even if it goes right, and it's not really looking great. My daughter says I always do this, I hide my judgement behind a layer of real concern.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

CrankyWife said:

YTA. You will find more peace in your life if you follow the "don't ask don't tell" rule: neither daughter nor boyfriend asked for your opinion, so don't tell them what you think. Yes, you may have professional and personal insight that would be of use to both of them, but they didn't ask for your help. So say nothing.

PeacockFascinator778 said:

YTA. Neither of them asked for your advice. You think you’re just being logical and reasonable, but you’re just conveying a lack of trust in him. It’s completely unhelpful, especially because it’s already done.

nextSibling said:

YTA. If he didn't ask for your advice, you shouldn't be giving it.

Impressive-Fig1876 said:

YTA this is none of your business and being an accountant in no way qualifies you to opine on the capital structure of a business smh.

keesouth said:

YTA this is not your business. I know you can't help but think about it but there is no need to bring it up or talk to them about it. Unsolicited advice is not welcomed advice. If they ask for your opinion that's one thing but they didn't.

OkSecretary1231 said:

YTA. Don't unload on him professionally unless he asks for your advice.

Francl27 said:

YTA. You judged her boyfriend openly, what did you expect?