Daughter-in-law is called 'The Color Grinch' for removing rainbow ornaments on Christmas tree. AITA?
"AITA for asking my DIL if she is 'The Color Grinch?'"
I came here for an outside opinion. My son and DIL married when they were in college and soon had my grandbaby Shelly. Shelly is six years old. Before this Christmas, they lived in an apartment and didn’t really decorate due to space. They would celebrate at my place and Shelly loves our tree. It’s basically very bright with all the colors of the rainbow.
This year I thought it would be different since they bought a home. In the summer I bought some colorful Christmas ornaments for them since I know decorations are expensive. I babysit every Tuesday and last Tuesday the tree was up. My son asked me to finish it if I wanted since both parents were busy with work and didn’t want the boxes to be out all week.
So that’s what I did with Shelly, I put up every ornament that was out. Along with the ones I bought there were a lot of dark colored ornaments. Shelly loved it and she spent a long time just looking at it.
Yesterday I came back and every single colorful ornament was off the tree, I asked Shelly what happens and her mom (DIL) took them all off. She was got quite upset talking about it. The tree is just dark with basically no color now.
I waiting until both of the them got home and asked why she removed the ornament, her response was she didn’t like how it looked. It was too overstimulating for Shelly (Shelly doesn’t have any disabilities). I asked if she was serious and she told me she was.
At this point I asked if she was "the color grinch" since she destroyed something Shelly loved. She got really mad and I told her to put it back up for her daughter and she can deal with colors not matching in her home.
She called me a jerk, my son is annoyed with me also since it’s their home. I just can’t understand why they would mess with something their daughter loved.
Edit: I don’t care that the tree isn’t my vision, my issue is then taking away something Shelly loved because it didn’t match her mothers vision. Who puts their vision over their kid's happiness?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this:
FireBallXLV said:
YTA—not because you love color. I’ve had people ask me before if my outfit came with a “Dimmer switch." But it’s your DIL’s house. You owe her some respect. Why don’t you apologize and ask if you could buy a miniature tree for your grand daughter’s room?
Then take a box of ornaments over and let the Grand -daughter pick out the ones she likes in front of her parents? If the DIL agrees to the tree but still balks at the balls then all you can do is have a tree for her at your house. You did not want your MIL decorating your house did you?
keesouth said:
YTA. She gets to decide what her tree looks like. Your granddaughters Christmas isn't ruined because there is less color on the tree. You have no right to make the rude remark you did just because she doesn't like the same color scheme you like for Christmas.
HeirOfRavenclaw said:
YTA. It’s their home, it’s not your place to decide how it’s decorated. You can rainbow your own place. Learn your boundaries.
happybanana134 said:
YTA. Look, your DIL didn't like how you decorated her tree. Get over it. You're using Shelly to fight a battle that doesn't need to be fought here; that kid will be absolutely fine with that tree. Insulting your DIL and telling her to put your ornaments (that she didn't like) back up was foolish at best.
Additional_Jaguar_76 said:
YTA. It’s not your tree and she didn’t “destroy” anything. It’s a Christmas ornament. Is this really the battle you want to pick with the mother of your grandchild?
Outrageous-Muffin375 said:
YTA. They gave you their ornaments to use. You did not have the right to put "your" ornaments on their tree - just because you do not like a "dark" tree. And: "it is just a month - she should get over to" - so why don't YOU?
Btw: my tree is usually white and crystal, nothing wild, frilly - it is reduced, just clean wintery...- because I like things this way. Some people love it, some not. And it fits my style.
zukolover96 said:
YTA. Not your home, not your tree, not your daughter. Back off.