'My daughter was upset with me, so I told her the truth. AITA?' UPDATED

"Daughter was upset with me, so I told her the truth. AITAH?"

During the last half term from school, a little kinda last minute camping trip was on the cards. I contacted my ex-wife to tell her the days we'd be away for, and asked if I could take our daughter with us. My ex-wife said no. (No idea WHY she said no, our daughter is 9, and i see her and have her in my care a lot, I was quite surprised she said no tbh..)

I didn't want to argue, so I said ok. I'm not about to argue and fight with my ex-wife, I've had enough of that. The day before we were going on the camping trip, I had my daughter in my care for the day, the moment I picked her up something was off so I asked her what was wrong, and she got upset about the camping trip, and didn't understand why "I didn't want to take her with me"

I got irritated instantly, because it was clear my ex had told her about the little trip, but had also made out it was ME who didn't want to take her. When that wasn't the truth. So I said to my daughter, "Well, that's a conversation you should have with your mum, I WANTED to take you, your mum is the one who said no." Which is the truth...

She was even more annoyed then, but throughout the day she cheered up and got over it, and we out for the day and had fun. I took my daughter home that night, and by the time I got home her mum had messaged me having the nerve to give me grief because our daughter was now pissed off at her. I told her "Should have thought about that before you lied to her, but ok." I then ignored her after that.

Was I at all the AH in that? My partner huffed and said "You've started something now." But wtf was I supposed to do? Let my daughter think I didn't want to take her on the trip? Let my daughter be annoyed me when I did nothing wrong? Eff no. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Common-Dream560 said:

Use a parenting app and document this. This is a step in parental alienation.

Viola-Swamp said:

If it’s not your parenting time, then it’s not your time. Deal with it. Mom isn’t the bad guy for saying no. You shouldn’t dangle a trip in front of your kid when it’s your ex’s time with your kid.

anonyvrguy said:

I was lied to by my mom about my dad for years. Years. He didn't say anything and took it. When I confronted him about it he said that he made the decision to "keep the peace" as I was living with her...

I lost years of my relationship with my dad because I thought he was an @$$hole. Don't help your ex hurt your relationship. Continue to be the man that your daughter thinks you are.

Ok-Literature-3026 said:

NTA - your daughter would’ve had so much fun. As a mom, I can’t fathom why someone would say no to the other parent taking their own child camping and then lie about it. The lying is the part that gets me heated. You shouldn’t lie, ever. Especially not to your child about something as trivial as this.

And Snoo62024 said:

ESH, except your daughter. You guys are using her as a pawn in your divorce when your priority should be on the well being of your daughter. Figure out a way to co-parent responsibly before your daughter resents you both.

He later shared this edit to his original post:

Seeing as people want to be weird in the comments thought I'd add some extra information.

1.) "Half term" is OUT of school, she would not have been taken out of school.

2.) During Half terms I can have my daughter for extra days if planned with my ex-wife, hence why I asked DURING THE HALF TERM if I could take her camping with us. My ex-wife said no.

3.) I don't live in America.. Don't assume your countries rules apply to where I live. We don't all live in America.

4.) The camping trip was not out of the country. It was in the same place, about an hours drive away. Perfectly fine distance, when I have her in my care on weekends, I've often taken her places further away than where this camping location is.. Hence why I'm confused why my ex-wife said no to this simple request.

5.) Thanks for the logging comments, but I do that already when necessary. This isn't the first time my ex-wife has tried to play games.

6.) During school terms I have her pretty much half the week, I have her overnights. But during out of school days, half terms and summer holidays, me and my ex-wife can come to terms on different days/extra days and whatnot.

But if there is some kind of few day trip or plan, especially on my side, my ex-wife likes to know and give her consent, which I respect, but she's playing games this time for some reason. I don't know why.