'AITA for giving my daughters one week to leave my house after what they did to their half brother?'
"AITA for giving my daughters one week to leave my house after what they did to their half brother?"
I have two daughters. Both are over 20. They graduated college and then moved back in with me because neither of them could find jobs. The house is my late husband Robert's house.
For context: Their dad and I got divorced 9 years ago. I got remarried to Robert and had my 7 year old son Tom. The girls didn't have a good relationship with Robert. In fact, they hated him because of what their dad filled their heads about him. They lived with their dad (they chose to) before going off to college.
Robert passed away 6 months ago after a long battle with disease. It was just me and my son Tom. The girls dad got remarried last year and the woman is basically a witch. That's why the girls stopped visiting there.
They lived in rental apartment during college and their dad used to pay for rent but stopped after his wife fought with them. The girls couldn't get a job to pay for rent and asked if they could move in with me and Tom for a while. I, of course, said yes. Although I knew how they felt about Tom. They moved in and they were nice to Tom but also distant.
2 days ago, I had an expected call and needed to leave the house. Tom was in bed all day because he was sick and I asked the girls to look after him for 2 hrs til I got back. I left quickly then an hour later, I got a text from Tom asking me to come home because he threw up again in his room.
He said he called for his sisters to help but no one responded. I immediately tried to call them but both lines were busy. I did my best to come home earlier thinking the girls weren't at home, but turned out they were.
One was downstairs the entire time, the other said she was using "kitchen appliances" that's why she couldn't hear Tom. I was going to believe them til Tom said he tried to text them but they didn't respond. I checked their phone after they tried to deny it and he was right. His message was "read" but no response.
I blew up at them both and called them pathetic. They argued that I was making them act like they are the parent and placing responsibility on them. I knew this wasn't about that.
They hated Robert. Fine. That might be a little understandable. But Tom is a kid and he has no part in all of this to be treated like that. I knew they neglected him on purpose.
So I told them they had one week to move out and they started arguing and even crying saying I'm being too harsh on them. And acting worse then their dad's new wife. I said this wan't up for discussion and now both of them are giving me the silent treatment. Basically making me feel guilty about the whole thing.
Maybe I've made a wrong decision but seeing how they've neglected their brother merely out of resentment and hate makes me feel upset and quite concerned to have them around him.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
If your daughters resent your late husband, fine he’s gone. But taking it out on his innocent child crosses a serious line. What’s to stop them from ignoring or belittling him again when you're not around? You’re setting a boundary and protecting your son’s well-being. That’s your job as a mother.
As a mom of a blended family, I will say this... they are adults. He is a child. If they want to act like immature high schoolers than they can role play somewhere else. Your son is a minor... he is priority not adult women who need to grow up.
Your home, your rules. You made one request, that they watch out for a sick 7 year old while you were out of the home and that was too much. They sound terribly selfish, disrespectful and immature. I think living on their own will be a good lesson in responsibility.
I'm sorry, but what if Tom choked on his vomit and died? What then? You are NOT overreacting and they can leave. They also owe you and Tom a huge apology for being terrible people. I just can't with people sometimes. NTA.
The daughters' obvious disregard for Tom's well-being is despicable... NTA. By giving them a week to leave, the parents set needed boundaries protecting their son and encouraging his sisters to take responsibility. It's mind-boggling how resentment towards Robert led them to abandon innocent Tom like this.
In the long run, maybe this opportunity will teach the daughters about empathy, family obligations, and putting others first. What kind of support system will they create now? Who knows, but at least Tom won't have to deal with their toxic behavior anymore. Will his sisters ever grow up and learn from this?
NTA - they intentionally neglected your son, and that’s not okay. You were gone for a couple of hours. Anything to do with Robert they have turned on. I’d give them shot at doing better, and just tell them you’ve had cameras installed in your home.
YTA. Your son will survive not having parental supervision for two hours. You and your ex both married people that your daughters hate. Both of you didn't take their feelings into consideration at all. You made your daughters feel alienated in their family. You are not any better than your ex-husband.
You are NTA. If they live in your house they can help in your house. Are they living rent free? If they want no responsibility at all they can pay you to live there. Then I wouldn't ask them again because they are "tenants."
They act horribly. You must be ashamed at how poorly they turned out. They just have no decency. And apparently are not very bright. Just thoughtless freeloaders. Throw out the trash. Protect your son. I don’t think I would have given them a week. NTA. UpdateMe.