'AITA for turning away a client who was rude to me at my past job and doesn't know who I am?'

"AITA for declining a potential client because they were rude to me at my past job and don't know who I am?"

I, 28F, worked at my local animal shelter for nearly two and a half years. I was the dog trainer and adoption counselor. One of my primary responsibilities was to match adopters with animals and finalize the adoption process. A couple came in two years ago and decided they wanted a Golden Retriever mix that had been returned to the facility by multiple past adopters.

The dog was known for separation anxiety and not liking other dogs. This information was communicated to the adopters both verbally and written. When an animal has behavioral tags added to their profile it is automatically added to the adoption contract as a disclaimer page that the adopter must sign to acknowledge they understood the animal had a history of such behavior.

Fast forward to last November, I had been taking a few training clients on the side here and there. I got a call on my personal cell from this particular adopter asking for help with their dog's separation anxiety.

I did my best to offer assistance and schedule an evaluation but it turned into an hour of this woman chewing me out. I don't think she knew that I was the one who finalized her dog's adoption. She went on and on about how the shelter didn't tell her about the dog's behaviors but that she didn't want to return him. She never did schedule an evaluation.

Fast forward to this month. I left the shelter earlier this year and officially opened my own mobile dog training business. Last week I ran a booth at a local street fair to promote my services and who walks up but none other than the same woman from the previous experiences. As soon as she said she had a Golden mix from the shelter I mentally cursed but kept a smile.

We talked for half an hour wherein she proceeded to talk badly about me to my face. I also know that no matter what training protocol I give them, they won't follow it. Behavior modification is a long haul approach but they want quick fixes.

I know they're in a tough spot because they wanted a companion who could go to the local dog park but got a ball of anxiety instead. I also know that I actually could help this dog, but I absolutely do NOT want to work with this woman. She does not take telling and I don't know if I could work with someone who has so blatantly disrespected me in the past.

She wants me to magically transform this dog into a social butterfly who can go to the park and local festivals and be buddies with anyone and everyone. I could help the dog's stress levels, teach him coping skills, and counter condition him to triggers so that he's manageable but he is dog aggressive. He will NEVER be the dog she wants.

Additionally, this couple thought getting a PUPPY would help their dog's dog aggression. They have gotten two, that I know of, and then turned around and returned or rehomed them because obviously it didn't turn out how they wanted. It's not the dog's fault this woman is terrible, but I don't think I could work with her and not inform her of our past interactions. So WIBTA for declining her as a client?

What do you think? WIBTA? This is what commenters had to say:

OrganizationFun2140 said:

NTA but be prepared for this woman to leave multiple negative online reviews whether you work with her or not. My heart breaks for the poor dog 💔

OP responded:

Yeah, there's no winning in this situation for me or the dog unfortunately.

Auntie-Realitea said:

NTA - client selection is an important part of running a business and, given your history with this woman, there is no good outcome if you take her on as a client. Realizing that there is no winning if you work with her doesn't make you an AH. Trust your instincts.

Be professional, but firm, when you turn her down. You're sorry, but your schedule does not accommodate the amount of training her dog requires and you are not able to train with them. If she keeps asking later, you will need to formulate a more forceful or honest response.

skeletonclock said:

NTA at all. But can I possibly be the A and ask what software your shelter uses that automatically creates that behaviour disclaimer? I run a cat shelter and would love something like that!

OP responded:

It's called ShelterLuv. An admin has to activate the behavior tab and you can create behavior tags, temperament tests, and more.

Weekly_Barnacle_485 said:

Why did you waste a 1/2 hour of your marketing time when you knew you wouldn’t work with her?

OP responded:

Great question. Honestly because I'm too nice, want to help, and have trouble saying no. On the other hand, I live in a mid size college town and networking is everything. They left my booth with a business card, brochure, and no more disgruntled than when they arrived.

PhobiaRice said:

NTA, how even should you be able to work with her...