'AITA for demanding my kids back immediately after my parents left them with strangers at a campground?'

"AITA for demanding my kids back immediately after my parents left them with 'strangers' at a campground without telling me?"

My parents were watching my kids (6M and 7F) for a few days, Sunday till Wednesday, while my partner and I were working. They were staying with my parents at a camping ground in an other city (120 Km away - about 75 miles).

On Monday, my dad (kids’ grandpa) had a sudden medical emergency and had to be taken to the hospital. During that time, my mom (kids’ grandma) left our kids in the care of two of their camping friends (let’s call them M & S) for about an hour.

We learned about the medical situation on Tuesday afternoon. While we receive a lot of pictures of the kids on Tuesday morning, my mom assured us everything was going fine, and never mentioned the hospitalization.

Here’s the problem: we don’t know M & S, and my parents never told us this happened. We only found out over 24 hours later, when I started asking specific questions about who was watching the kids during the hospital trip.

When I confronted them, they said it was a “force majeure” situation and assumed we’d understand. I told them I would have understood if they had told us at the time, but finding out afterward meant that if there had been an emergency, we wouldn’t even know who had our kids.

When asked how long our kids were in M & S care, they kept downplaying it (first saying “about an hour,” later “only 5 minutes at the hospital”). When I told I wanted the kids back immediately, the emotional pressure started: “Don’t do this to your kids, they’ll be so sad” and “You’ll ruin their fun.” I told them to stop the emotional blackmail and that we wanted the kids back.

They refused at first, saying they’d bring them back the next day as planned. I warned that if they didn’t return the kids that night, I would contact the authorities. Only then did they agree, and we picked up our kids that evening from the campground.

We don’t own a vehicle, so we had to take an Uber to the camping ground which cost us over $300 CAD. Not a problem, my kids safety is far more important than 300 bucks, but still, it carves a hole in our budget.

Now they say I “overreacted” and “hurt the kids” by ending the visit early. From my perspective, they violated a major boundary we had already discussed in the past and withheld important information for more than a day. AITA for insisting on getting my kids back right away instead of letting them stay one more night?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

GothPenguin said:

NTA - even in an emergency someone should have taken a few minutes to let you know who had your children. Leaving them with strangers has consequences.

Hyperboleiskillingus said:

Soft YTA. It sounds like they were in a difficult situation with a medical emergency and took reasonable steps to manage the situation and ensure everyone was safe. I agree that they should have been informed immediately but I don't understand why you got SO very upset. It was an emergency and your mom probably had a lot on her mind while dealing with your dad at the hospital.

I would be annoyed with my parents if this happened with my kids. I would not be outraged and I would not be removing the kids from their care in a huff. So why did you freak out so much about this?

Is it because your parents have a history of being reckless and endangering your kids? Or do you have a tendency to freak out over everything and that is why they down played it after the fact? Only you know the answer to this.

WestCovina1234 said :

YTA. They didn't leave the kids with strangers, they left them with friends. For an hour. During an emergency. Threatening to contact the authorities -- at a time when you knew the kids were absolutely fine -- is so crazy over-the-top that it defies belief.

Cloud9_Forest said:

Your dad is having a heart attack, and yet here you are fighting your parents. I guess you already didn’t have a good relationship with them anyway since (1) you didn’t care about your dad’s health, and (2) you didn’t trust your mother’s judgement.

Think again, did you also get angry at being told so late that your father was almost dying of heart attack? It is emergency, so you spent hundreds of dollars to pick your kids, but did you also spend so much to see your father immediately to see how he is doing? YTA for make the fighting now, and not later after the hectic situation is ended.

OldMammaSpeaks said:

YTA because it was an unnecessary escalation. In the midst of your father having a heart attack, your mom made sure your kids were safe. I get that not telling you was problematic. But why was a simple conversation establishing rules or a plan for the future not enough?

"It scares me that if something happened to you two, we would not know where the kids are. Can you please leave my phone number with the person if it happens again?" That said, your kids should know your phone numbers at this age. That part is on you. Prepare your kids for things that can happen.

That way, if your father is damn near dying again, the kids can call you, and your mom doesn't have to deal with three issues instead of two. I think this was a unique situation, and everything worked the way your mom was sure it would. So why f up the kids' trip when they didn't even know there was an issue.

vera_luna said:

YTA. You sound like a helicopter parent. If your parents trusted their friends to take care of the kids for an hour, there should be no problem. Could it be that they didn’t tell you because they expected that you would react this way?