We're having an all-inclusive destination wedding in 2023. Like most places, we're required to book a room block in advance. To qualify for discounts for guests, guaranteed rooms, and various other wedding package perks, we must book X amount of people through the room block we paid for in our contract.
It turns out 2 of our guests have a timeshare through the resort, effectively slashing their reservation price by about 30% from the online price. Our package cuts it down maybe 10% at most (weddings must be in demand...hmm I wonder why). Without asking, they went ahead and booked their timeshare, only to tell us later.
Then they shared their timeshare membership to 4 other guests (6 total now), who are all booking reservations through the wholesale timeshare company. It's one of those multi-resort packages that cost a lump sum, and then once or twice per year the member gets heavily discounted vacations.
We were okay planning around 2 guests, but now 6 guests are circumventing our wedding package that we paid for altogether. We are now somewhat worried about meeting our minimum guests booked through package threshold in the contract to have the wedding, ceremony, and rehearsal.
Without the minimum guest threshold, we lose the rehearsal and ceremony. I'm sure we can ask for an exception and pay any extra fees out of pocket if it comes to it. We'll also probably fail to meet other tiers that would give our package the extra oomph we wanted to subsidize rooms and pass around upgrades to guests, bringing down the cost of the wedding as a whole for everyone coming.
We can't guarantee any subsidization until we reach a tier that helps us towards that goal, so I don't want to dangle that carrot in front of their heads. We could tell them to book 3 nights (the required minimum through our package) through us, and then any other nights through their timeshare.
But I'm tempted, for simplicity's sake, to tell them no altogether. They need to book through the wedding package to be a part of the wedding. Am I the ahole?
We don't save more money if more people book. We can just pass out more free rooms and upgrades, and other guest discounts (spa package discounts, free golf, etc). That's what I meant by bringing down costs of the wedding as a whole.
Our package is a flat $ rate regardless of who books, so long as a minimum # of guests book through the block. If the minimum isn't met, we lose our private reception and dinner, but it doesn't cost us more.
Not verbatim, but I've gone ahead and told them congrats on the discount. We're happy they are all able to attend. Make sure to keep in touch with the travel agent who is more familiar with the resort to make sure all goes smoothly.
I do know transportation to and from the airport won't be provided outside the package, so make sure to ask your timeshare reps how they recommend tackling that (we hadn't planned ahead last time and ended up paying $60 each way). And that I'll ask if the resort needs to give you a specific colored wristband or anything to indicate that you are a part of the wedding so that you have no issues.
CrunchM said:
YTA. You don't get to spend other people's money. A destination wedding is already a stretch for a great number of people (I don't want to hear from you that these people can afford it, you have no idea what they can or cannot do).
jenneybearbozo3 said:
YTA. Your guests are there to celebrate with you, not underwrite your wedding. The last destination wedding I went to several guests did exactly this, and the bride and groom were just happy they came. If you try to force people to stay where you want, they might not come.
SnooWords4839 said:
YTA - pay for your own wedding and allow your guests to not waste their money when they can stay cheaper.
Solrackai said:
YTA, is this a wedding or are you a sales person for the resort, trying to get a commission.
Slugdirt said :
YTA. Either you want your guests to attend your wedding at their convenience or not at all. Your contract isn't your guests problem.
Migraine-AddledBrain said:
Hey, Bridezilla, YTA!!! First of all, a destination wedding basically screams to people “I don’t really care if you can afford this or not. I don’t give a crap how much vacation time you get from your job or if you’d sacrifice a whole year because I am so entitled.
And lastly, I’m going to insist you pay MORE and do it through my block because I get added benefits. Never mind that I also expect an expensive gift in addition to you having to shell out airfare, accommodations, possibly a new/different wardrobe, food and drinks, etc. and so on.”
You saddled people with a huge expense for the privilege of seeing you get married and now you want to demand that they pay a higher rate. Bridezilla might be too kind.
A few years have gone by and today I remembered how much (negative) attention it had gotten. I'm writing an update coming up on our 2 year anniversary about our experience, and to maybe deter anyone from declining a destination wedding or resort contract based on my original post or the comments in the original thread, if that's what you want to do.
I didn't cover reasoning for doing a destination wedding in the OP. Our guests were spread all over and some in other countries. It did not make sense to have them come to where we live, since it's mostly nothing, frigid, and expensive to travel here. Why not spend that time and money somewhere memorable? Saying no to attending a destination wedding is easy.
No harm no foul. Another reason we chose a destination wedding was to spend more time with relatives who we don't see often, instead of the couple of hours.Everything went better than expected. A hundred people came, so my worries about a contracted guest "minimum" was misplaced.
I was afraid of renegotiating a contract after guests booked, since the contract had nullification clauses. I realized after the OP that the resort wants you to be a pseudo-salesman. Some comments didn't consider how these resorts operate, but many were correct about the salesy contract I got myself into.
We didn't ask our timeshare guests to change anything, and we've remained close friends. The contract was our only wedding planning stress point. It's understandable if you don't want to deal with it, but if you're reading this and going through that phase now, just relax.
Careful what you sign, but also the resort isn't going to play hardball with someone bringing them business. We were able to meet all "thresholds" (not that we cared) and spent them on upgrading all family and wedding party to beachfront swim out rooms, and gave a % off the final room costs for all guests.
The trip created lasting memories and we're grateful for everyone who came. The event itself got rained out, but the staff was incredible and moved us to an indoor venue. The day prior we had toured with the coordinator and planned the setup outdoor, for all of that to be thrown out the window an hour beforehand.
Even though we hadn't even seen the indoor venue or setup, it really didn't matter. The staff went above and beyond and we couldn't thank them enough. We're blessed our guests traveled from all over the world to celebrate with us.
I wanted to write this update because maybe someone searches and stumbles upon both threads -- I couldn't find much information online about this topic. Yes, the contract is a negative to consider.
But if you're in a position like us where people would be traveling quite some distance anyway, and you want everyone to have a memorable tropical experience, don't look back. The internet might have you in the comment sections, but zealous words on a website won’t change real-life events involving people who have no affiliation with them.
lesjaandreeval9tew said:
You’ve clearly learned a lot from the experience. Destination weddings can be tricky, but it sounds like you handled the challenges well. The key is to communicate openly with your guests and provide options. Focus on what really matters: celebrating love and creating lasting memories together.
nonynony13 said:
I love destination weddings. I was in one at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico. Beautiful, warm, and great food and drinks. And way cheaper than the ‘hometown’ wedding I attended a year later in suburban Texas where I had to deal with transportation and pay out of pocket to eat at the chain restaurants that, along with Walmart, were the only thing to be found in the vicinity.
thenexttimebandit said:
Destination wedding was a fine idea. I’m glad you didn’t pressure people to use your room block. You can inform people of the room block and the potential perks of people use it. Otherwise the choice is up to them.
nonynony13 said:
I love destination weddings. I was in one at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico. Beautiful, warm, and great food and drinks. And way cheaper than the ‘hometown’ wedding I attended a year later in suburban Texas where I had to deal with transportation and pay out of pocket to eat at the chain restaurants that, along with Walmart, were the only thing to be found in the vicinity.
duckingridiculous said:
I had a wedding at very small hotel that had the same clause. I didn’t manage to fill it entirely because there was a more exciting resort down the street. I had to pay for the few rooms we did not fill. Your expectation of your guests was very bad manners.
rosebudny said:
I just read the original post. Holy hell, the gumption to even think about asking people who already have a timeshare at that resort to pay outside of that!! I live part time in a desirable vacation location that is popular for weddings.
It would be like if someone invited me to their wedding but said I had to pay to stay at the wedding hotel instead of my own (paid for) house, and forbade me from letting others stay here with me. Glad it all worked out, and that OP did not in fact tell timeshare owners they couldn't use their timeshares. Because SHEESH.