When it comes to gift receiving, it's the thought that counts. Even if it's a shirt that is both ugly and not your size, the fact that someone thought of you is such a kind thing. Unfortunately, not everyone feels that way.
My brother, James, has a girlfriend, Lindsay, who he’s been dating for seven months. He decided to bring her to Christmas at my house (stay over Christmas Eve and leave the next day after lunch). I’d met Lindsay at drinks before this, and she seemed nice.
When they arrived, Lindsay walked in, complimented my decorations (large tree in the foyer), and asked how much they cost. I was slightly surprised by the question, but I just said, “more than I’d like,” and moved on.
Throughout the evening, she asked several questions centered around money. She asked my husband how much he paid for our house, my stepdad how much money he made in his previous job, and how much my watch cost. She even googled one of our art pieces to see how much it sold for and started talking about how crazy it was that we spent that much, which frankly was very uncomfortable.
My stepdad pulled my brother aside and asked if there was a problem, but my brother just said it was normal for her to do that, but he did say he’d speak to her about it.
On Christmas morning, we all gathered around to open presents, and thankfully, Lindsay didn’t say anything untoward, so I figured James had spoken to her about her intrusive questions. However, at lunch, we talked about plans for January. Lindsay said she didn’t know how we could afford to do anything in January as she added up the total we’d spent on gifts and then proudly proclaimed the capacity.
The whole table went silent, and honestly, I was shocked and annoyed that someone could be so ignorant. I looked at Lindsay and said, “you are the world’s most diligent gold digger. Would you like to be the family accountant since you’re already tracking expenses?” Lindsay apologized and tried to explain, but my stepdad changed the conversation, and we moved on. She was mercifully quiet for the rest of dinner.
After they left, my brother messaged me, saying I’d upset Lindsay and was out of line with what I said. I argued that he had said he’d talk to her, and he didn’t, not that someone should have needed guidance to know how crass her comments were. He says I owe both of them an apology, but Lindsay’s behavior was disgraceful.
My parents say Lindsay was wrong, but I probably should have said something in private, or they could have, and I shouldn’t have said something in front of everyone. AITA?
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In what world is asking people about how much money they make and adding up the totals of Christmas gifts normal? NTA (Not the A**hole). She was being incredibly rude and making everyone uncomfortable.
NTA. It is so unbelievably rude to make so many comments about money. I could see maybe one or two off-handed comments, but to fixate on money so much that you tally up how much money was spent on Christmas presents and then announce it to the whole family?
Don’t apologize to your brother. Why should you? His girlfriend came into your house for Christmas and immediately started questioning you about money and practically appraising everything in your house! She should be apologizing to you, and your brother should be apologizing on her behalf.
If someone is rude to you, you’re allowed to defend yourself and shut them down, which is what you did. Maybe next time, she’ll learn to keep her mouth shut and not constantly talk about money.
NTA. She came into your house and started appraising your net worth of assets like you're about to go to auction. Are you sure she’s not planning a NYE heist? Seriously though, your brother had the gall to ring you up and say you upset her when she’s asking intrusive financial questions and itemizing your belongings. If I were you, she would not be getting an invite back. NTA.
OP, the internet says to keep saying it like it is because Lindsay is digging hard.