"AITA? My daughter doesn’t want me in her life because of our differences in political opinions."

I (M65) have two daughters, Alicia (35) and Mary (32). I am divorced from their mother since the girls were in middle school and have been with my current partner Janice for 15 years but we are not married. My girls were living with me full time since they were in high school until they each moved out.

I’ll get right to it, my girl’s have opposing political views from Janice and I. This came to a head several years ago, things had been strained for a while and finally blew up. The girls were over for Christmas and Mary said some things that upset Janice and Mary walked out. Alicia stayed but it was awkward the rest of the day.

Janice and I decided not to let Mary visit anymore but I still saw her regularly on my own or with Alicia. A year or so after that I took Alicia out for breakfast on her birthday. We had decided not to talk about politics anymore because we don’t get along.

Well there was something upsetting on the TV and the restaurant was empty except for us and another couple and I made a comment about it, and Alicia just started ranting. She wouldn’t stop even when I told her to because she said I was the one who brought it up.

The man at the other table agreed with me and started getting upset, saying what Alicia was saying was stupid and that she should shut up. I agreed with him. Yet another day ruined I guess so I just walked out. I told her happy birthday before I left.

She was very upset that I “abandoned” her with a stranger that was upset with her, but all she had to do was stop talking and that never would have happened. She said she felt unsafe and that I shouldn’t have just left her there, and maybe I shouldn’t have, but she also needs to take responsibility for her part in this.

Now she barely speaks to me and I only see her on special occasions like birthdays or Father’s Day. And never at either of our houses. She moved and hasn’t told me where, it is somewhere local though. I see Mary more often but she doesn’t want to get involved with me and Alicia’s issues. AITA for not taking total responsibility for what happened?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

AppealEasy2128 said:

YTA. You’re choosing a political stance over being a parent, and allowing your partner to alienate your children bc they don’t fall in line with your beliefs. You’re legitimately what’s wrong with whichever political affiliation you align with.

Potential_Ad_1397 said:

We could share the same political beliefs and I would agree with your daughter. You broke the agreement and made a comment you knew she wouldn't agree with. Then you got mad when she responded to the comment. Then you agreed with a stranger and escalated the issue.

He told her to shut up and she was talking stupid. No one says that in a calm matter. That is scary for a woman to be addressed like that by a man. After all of that, you left her... Straight up left her with some stranger who was making comments about her. No wonder she felt unsafe. Her safety is more important than a disagreement. YTA

Wolfk1234 said:

I think YTA. Not because you and your daughters have different political views and you argue over that. I think you guys agreeing not to discuss was the best. YTA for bringing it up in public and then arguing with her about it. I understand she might have been the one to start getting upset first, but you admitted you commented first.

Also, YTA for not telling the other guy to mind his business and not be rude to your daughter. That’s not cool. Then leaving her there with a hostile person that you justified by agreeing with him. Total bad dad move my man. YTA.

sewcialist_goblin said:

You forbade Mary from visiting for her political views and then brought up politics on Alicia’s BIRTHDAY against an agreed upon code of conduct and have the audacity to blame them? This was your doing regardless of who believes what. YTA. Apologize.

WholeLottaIntrovert said:

YTA. You broke the agreement. You let a stranger disrespect your daughter. You left her with this angry stranger with no one else around to help. Politics aside, you acted like a bad father.

weeawhooo said:

YTA. My guess is your political views aren't rooted in economics and are more rooted in race and bodily control. There's a big difference between disagreeing over free health care or taxes and disagreeing over bodily autonomy or racism.