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'Dinner fiasco': Women tells husband he can cook his own spaghetti, kicks mom out. AITA?

'Dinner fiasco': Women tells husband he can cook his own spaghetti, kicks mom out. AITA?


"AITA for telling my husband he can make himself dinner and asking my mother to leave?"

I invited my mother over for dinner, I made spaghetti the same way I always do. Ground beef, a traditional spaghetti sauce, but I add a mix of veggies including carrots, peas, green beans, corn, celery, Lima beans and potatos. All chopped very small and mixed in with the sauce.

Regular spaghetti noodles. My children and I, my sisters, etc eat this spaghetti and never had a complaint. I started adding the vegetables years ago when I had children as a way to make sure they’re healthy and getting their vegetables. My husband made a comment the last time that he wasn’t too fond of the lima beans which I had actually forgotten about but at the time I told him it was good for him, to me there’s no real flavor difference. A little texture change but nothing too noticeable.

While cooking dinner my mom and I were chatting and then she saw me adding in the vegetables and started asking why I would add vegetables (she was shocked), I told her in good humor to let me do what I do, it’s good. At this point my husband chimed in asking if it’s spaghetti with the vegetables and she said yes and laughed, they continued to make fun of me and asking where I saw that, “that’s not even a tiktok," “nobody does that”, continuing on while I continue making dinner for all of us. I told them multiple times that it’s good for you and reassured my mother that if she tries it she’ll see, there’s no taste difference. She asked why I would bother adding them then and I reiterated that it is good for you.

My mom then googled recipes and said only vegans add vegetables to their spaghetti and they don’t put meat in it, just kind of kept going and my husband chimed in from the living room playing his game with a really rude tone saying “I don’t even want none." At that point I said “you know what, I think you’re being really rude (to my mom) and if you (to my husband) want to make your own food then feel free.” I kept cooking and at this point was trying not to get emotional, I could feel myself starting to cry. (I’m also 5 months pregnant so hormones and emotions are stupid right now).

My mom just kept making comments and asking why I would do it, how she’s going to tell my sisters how I cook it, etc. I let her know they have actually had my spaghetti and even they say you don’t taste the difference (and spaghetti is one of my sisters all time favorite meals so she would definitely let me know, anyway) my mother was like oh I’ll try it and I’m curious to see if this is any good but then the condescending comments kept coming while she was probably thinking she was making light of it but I really just found it rude.

My husband responded to one of her comments agreeing. I told them both I was over hearing it, again, and “screw both of you” (at this point my emotions broke through and I almost started crying but it was just my voice cracking) I kept cooking and hoped they hadn’t noticed.

But my mom kept going until I finally asked her to please leave. She tried to apologize but still held to her opinionated responses about how she just doesn’t know why I would do that and how could I mess up the simplest of dinners. I told her she could go again. My husband said “I’ve told you not to make it that way I don’t know why you would” as she was going to the door to leave.

I finished making dinner, made the kids and I bowls of spaghetti with our breadsticks (pettily leaving none for my husband) and we said our prayers and ate together. Halfway through eating my husband asked where the breadsticks were and I said “we ate them, you can make yourself something to eat”. He asked “So because I don’t want the spaghetti I don’t get any breadsticks?”

I answered “no, because you wanted to be rude about the food I was making and sat back encouraging my mom to be rude as well, you can make your own food” He said a few things complaining while walking away from us at the table and I just am curious if I’m the ahole for asking my mother to leave and being petty about the breadsticks after being treated what I felt was so poorly while making dinner.

I understand that’s my mom, but she was a guest in my home and had never even tried it before deciding it was outrageous. And my husband didn’t like the lima beans in it but ate all of it last time, I’m not asking for it to be his favorite but his tone and the lack of care to how I was being treated made me not want to let him have any of the food I was making for our family. Idk. I know I’m not a perfect human, but am I an ahole?


After MANY responses I’d like to say thanks for the feedback. In the end it truly is not super serious. I won’t be adding lima beans to my spaghetti anymore and looking into whether the other vegetables actually add nutritional value or not because that shocked me to hear that they potentially are pointless all together. In the end hopefully my mom figured out that you should be nice to the pregnant lady trying to feed her family and try something before berating it and my husband didn’t enjoy dinner with the family, nor did he have a delicious breadstick. In a week this won’t matter at all.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

recyclopath_ said:

NTA. We don't cook for complainers.

miyuki_m said:

NTA. I'm petty enough that I'd never cook for mom again, and I'd put hubby on dinner duty for a week. Make him cook for everyone while you make rude comments about it. See if he makes it through even one meal.

zzzirk said:

NTA!!! I don’t get how someone can be rude when someone else is performing a service for them (like cooking a meal). Is someone cooks for me I express gratitude. Hubby needs to get his act together.

2npac said:

NTA...I like my spaghetti with a little more "substance" as well and I'm a damn good cook, according to everyone I know. I usually add mushrooms, onions, zucchini, squash and it really adds a little something to it. I can't stand people that want to criticize someone's cooking without trying it. How do they think they get all of these great new recipes and all of these fusions out there?

Material_Cellist4133 said:

That’s actually a smart idea and also a lot of people do it. Since it’s a way to hide the veggies from your kids. NTA.

Propanegoddess said:

Ehhhh. NTA but your husband doesn’t like Lima beans. Just because you can’t taste the difference, doesn’t mean he can’t. Like, I am VERY sensitive to the taste and texture of peas. I can taste that shit in fried rice. It’s so awful and the texture makes me want to die.

I could never, and I mean never, go anywhere near that dish and would probably be a bit ticked off that you were being so dismissive. Would it kill you to just leave the damn Lima beans out? BUT at the end of the day your husband is a grown a$s man, and your mother was a guest in your house. He can feed himself and she can see her way out. It’s truly that simple.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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