Disabled renter contemplates homelessness over institutional threats from landlord aunt. AITA? + DOCUMENT PHOTOS
"AIO? My aunt is my landlord and slid this under my door."
I am disabled with multiple disabilities including Level Two Autism and Orthostatic Hypotension and other small ones like Irritable Bowel. I am on SSI which gives you only $980 per month and rent for most one bedrooms here starts at $1000 per month minimum so I am renting the basement in my aunt's duplex for a family discount.
I don't do things like take the trash cans to the curb because when I do physical activity my heart does not respond correctly and jumps to over 200 beats per minute. My doctor said this was very unhealthy so I should avoid rigorous physical activity to not stress my body.
I am only supposed to do sedentary and anaerobic activity such as weightlifting to work out, but not do things like running or stairs which are cardio, and the curb is down 3 flights of stairs because our house is on a big hill.
The OP provided these photos of the memo his aunt wrote up.
Anyway when she says a care facility or home she means an institution where they put developmentally disabled people. I don't want to doxx myself so I do not want to say which institution she is talking about, but I have a friend that was in it temporarily and more friends who have siblings and friends who are in it, and I don't want to go.
Their descriptions have been very upsetting, the staff is mean, people get forced to take medications to sedate them, people get wrestled by guards and put in isolation rooms and things, and you're not allowed to have your own phone or computer or make your own food or anything.
That sounds really bad, I don't want to catastrophize but I'd be really upset in a place like that and it would make me not want to be alive if I was there forever. My first reaction is to tell my friends and see if I can stay with someone instead of living here.
I can only pay a little under $500 a month if I want to keep getting my meds and necessities like toilet paper, but if I'm going to be getting fined $100 every time I follow my doctor's advice maybe it would be cheaper to share a friend's bedroom and chip in for their rent anyway?
But I know my disabilities are really hard to deal with and my aunt is being very generous for letting me live here for unfairly cheap, so I thought maybe that's me overreacting and she's right about me being too disabled to live outside of an institution.
Or that maybe I am being lazy and should probably pitch in more. To be fair I do eat a lot of microwave meals because it's hard for me to stand for a lot of time. My blood pools in my feet and I'm supposed to keep my feet raised at or above heart level for a lot of the day, so I don't cook much.
But I could be working harder to cook and not eat so much lazy packaged food, my doctor never said how long I shouldn't stand for just that I should try to avoid it. Anyway thank you.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
What was originally agreed to between you and your aunt? Doesn’t your aunt know of your conditions?
Fickle_Photograph243 (OP)
We agreed to me renting the basement apartment for $450 a month. We have a lease that's the standard printed out lease example for our city. Basically it's a month to month lease with no pets.
She knows about my disabilities but she doesn't really talk about them much. I've told her about Orthostatic Hypotension for example, and what she said is "Well, we play the hand God deals us." I don't really get what she means by that to be honest.
When I talk about Level Two Autism I think she is more focused on how I can be normal than any of the problems it gives me. Like for example the last time I talked about how it's hard to learn social skills.
I don't understand what people are saying when they say it without explaining, she started talking about how my friends are weird people and I would make better friends if I started volunteering or going to church.
(I'm atheist by the way. So that was confusing.) But that wasn't really what I was talking about, I like my friends fine, I was talking about when I tried to work and got told to quit. So she knows about my disabilities but I think she doesn't think about them or something.
Imagine writing a letter to someone about how to be an adult and your hand-writing looks like this lol.
Fickle_Photograph243 (OP)
I said this up above but she has an old wrist injury which is why her print is bad and shaky. She writes much better in cursive but I can't read cursive so when she sends memos to me she prints.
Subsidized/income based housing is suitable for you. Idk how it is in your state, but in mine they only require 30% of your income (SSI, in your case) for rent.
Fickle_Photograph243 (OP)
The last time I looked at the subsidized housing waitlist it was several years long and the social worker I was talking to said it had not moved in a long time. But maybe it is time to look again. I had a conversation on Reddit a while ago that revealed more housing options than I thought existed. So it's a good time to follow up.
The fact that these comments are glazing over your condition that messes up your heart is wild to me. I think it is in your best interest to move out with a friend if you are able. There's no acknowledgement of /why/ you aren't able to do certain things, and none of any compromises to both please her and accommodate you.
I do not have any grievances with you ordering doordash tbh, you are aware of your budget limitations, and even if you did keep that extra 75 bucks, that's not enough for that penalty she's wanting to enforce. She isn't treating you like an adult to begin with. You do NOT deserve to be locked away.