'AITA for excluding a coworker from office social events because he spoils TV shows/movies?' UPDATED

"AITA for disinviting a coworker for perpetually spoiling things?"

Almost every Friday, my coworkers and I will go out and get drinks and socialize. More often than not it's on open invitation for the entire office and even people outside of our team will join.

We typically have a great time - but only when Logan (20s/M) doesn't show. Logan means well but is easily excitable and engages people in conversations they're not interested in. The worst of this behavior has to do with spoiling movies, shows, games, etc.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I had tickets to see the new Mortal Kombat movie over the weekend. Logan lit up and immediately responded, "You'll love the scene where [spoiler] happens and when [spoiler] shows up." I was bummed and walked away without continuing the conversation.

Later that same night Amy, another coworker, was discussing a TV show she was a few episodes behind in. Logan blurts out, "I can't believe that [beloved character] dies in episode [whatever number]." Amy, who had obviously not yet watched it, went silent and turned away. Logan laughed and said, "I just can't help it. I get too excited!" None of us were amused.

A few days later, in our team-only group chat, someone brought up Logan's tendency to spoil things and admitted that they wished he weren't invited to outings because of it. Multiple people agreed and began to list everything Logan had spoiled for them.

With this in mind, I didn't add Logan to the email invite for the next week's hang-out. He noticed he never got an invite and began to ask around. As I was the one who'd written the email, he was eventually directed to me.

He pulled me aside as I left for lunch and let me know I excluded him "by mistake". Rather than try and play it off, I just told him the truth - that the fact he spoils everything is obnoxious and rude. I told him that joining conversations just to spoil things is bad enough but he also starts conversations with spoilers!

Logan was immediately defensive, claiming it's not his fault we're slow to watch/play/etc. and that he's just making conversation. I told that if he swore he'd be more conscious about this habit, that he could join us that Friday. He came and, lo and behold, spoiled the plot of a movie I wanted to see in theaters.

Out of frustration, I called him a dick and told him that this is exactly why no one socializes with him. He left soon after and, even though I said what everyone was thinking, I felt like an a$$hole. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

VanillaFam said:

NTA that is infuriating and he deserves to be called out. If the group of people don't want him there, don't invite him.

I would recommended planning these outings on your own time(such as at home or during your lunch) and writing from your personal email to everyones personal emails. This is to cover your ass if he goes to Hr for bullying/ exclusion. The job cant comment any anthing done in your time and with your property.

slydog4100 said:

NTA. He absolutely CAN control his behavior. He choses not to. He is deriving pleasure from spoiling things for everyone else. He can learn to control himself or he can be excluded. The choices really do seem simple.

ChardyBowen said:

NTA - I think you are honest and decent to explain it & give him a chance. He blew it but you tried... I have a friend like that and as soon as they kick off I’d cover my ears yelling La La La in their face. Took a few times but they got it. This was one on one convos. Imagine a whole work group yelling that in your face with their hands on their ears. Haha the insanity.

Kitsumekat said:

NTA. Logan is intentionally spoiling stuff because he knows he can and ruining people's enjoyment. He even decided to do so when no one brought it up. By you taking him off the list, you're no longer giving him power to ruin the fun. If people haven't noticed, he literally google searched a book to ruin it for someone who didn't ask. He also doubled down when he was told the truth and tried to turn it around.

He can help his behavior but, doesn't want to. Also, I would be ticked if someone ruined Mortal Kombat or Demon Slayer: Mugen Train. I'm just glad that I got to see both beforehand.

ChaosAndMischeif said:

NTA- he does it on purpose to be an edge lord. You can be excited without spoiling things.

And SueDohNymn said:

NTA. Sounds like this guy was raised to thrive in a negative attention arena, meaning that in order to get much needed attention, he had to get into trouble. And he's young still, probably socially inept. Still, no excuse for that behavior.

Point is, you gave him a chance and he did it yet again. Your response was 💯 on point. As another poster suggested, I agree with taking these get-togethers offline so there isn't a chance for backfires.

Edit from OP:

A few weeks ago, we had lunch catered and all joined in the break room. A coworker had brought a book to read during lunch and Logan saw the cover, pulled up the Wikipedia, and read the entire synopsis aloud - including the big twist ending. I asked him why he would do that and he responded, "Why not?"

Also, the book was Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

He later shared this update:

Your responses had me curious so I tested something out. Last night our office went out for drinks again and Logan showed up. At one point, when I knew he was listening, I mentioned a movie I really wanted to see.

I gave the title and named some actors that were in it and left it at that. Logan didn’t say anything immediately but pulled out his phone a few minutes later. The rest of the night went smoothly until I was about to head home. Logan flagged me down and asked me to repeat the movie title I’d mentioned.

I repeated the title I’d given earlier and Logan got upset. He told me that movie didn’t exist. He’s right, I made it up. He called me annoying and a killjoy and said spoilers “shouldn’t matter if you’re just going to watch something anyway.”

He told me to “get over” the fact that he likes sharing “major plot points” and claimed I ruined his night. And so, as many of you concluded, Logan is just a jerk who enjoys spoiling things.

Part of me hopes he spent his entire evening searching for a movie that doesn’t exist - part of me feels bad that he feels that’s something he needs to do for whatever reason. Pulling a prank on him might make me kind of an asshole too but, to be honest, I think it was worth it.